Dumb criminal stories

[crazy canuck]

At least his drugs didnt get stolen.

[mongers]

I think Peaches Geldof might be an entrant in this category soon, guilty of aggravated twitter-potty-mouth.

[Barrister]

Not my file, just saw this in the paper:

Edmonton man charged after allegedly printing child porn at grocery store

EDMONTON JOURNAL NOVEMBER 29, 2013 11:00 AM

EDMONTON - The Alberta Law Enforcement Response Teams has charged a 33-year-old Edmonton man after child pornography was printed at a local grocery store's photo kiosk.

ALERT's Northern Alberta Internet Child Exploitation (ICE) Unit began to investigate when a store employee serviced the photo kiosk machine and discovered explicit material.

Investigators used store video surveillance to identify the man and execute a search warrant at his home, where they recovered additional child pornography images, DVDs, videotapes and electronic devices.

"It is particularly disturbing that members of the public and store employees would be exposed to this horrific offence," Det. Brian Cross, an Edmonton Police Service member with the ICE Unit, said Friday in a news release.

Bradley Lenz was arrested at his home Wednesday and charged with possession of child pornography and accessing child pornography.

http://www.edmontonjournal.com/news/Edmonton+charged+after+allegedly+printing+child+porn/9228362/story.html

[DGuller]

Seriously?  Why would anyone want to print out porn with grocery store quality printers?

[Savonarola]

Bob and Doug McKenzie at it again:

'Stupidity ran deep' during 'stab-proof' vest demonstration

Edmonton man gets six months in jail for nearly killing friend

EDMONTON - A young Edmonton man who grievously wounded his friend while testing a supposedly "stab-proof" vest was sentenced to six months in jail Tuesday.

Court heard that Justin Harder, 18, was bragging to his friend Calvin Wesley Clackson, 21 about a "stab-proof" vest he'd just acquired as they hung out in an apartment suite at 106th Avenue and 116th Street, Crown prosecutor Mark Huyser-Wierenga told court.

Harder was so confident in the vest that night in October 2012 that he believed it would deflect any attack with a knife. Harder eagerly invited his friend to stab him in the chest to prove the vest worked.

"Mr. Clackson foolishly obliged him," Huyser-Wierenga said.

According to the agreed statement of facts, Clackson stabbed at his friend with a folding knife. The blade tore through the vest and plunged into Harder's chest near his heart.

When Clackson withdrew the blade and saw "blood spurting all over the place," he fled the apartment.

Harder was seriously injured and only survived because of emergency surgery that night, court heard.

"It was a non-stab-proof vest, if you can call it that," Huyser-Wierenga said.

Provincial court Judge Michael Allen sentenced Clackson to twice what the prosecution had argued for.

"This was a pretty serious incident, even though the victim was incredibly stupid, to put it politely," the judge told court. "It was foolish of the friend to give the invitation, but it was criminally negligent for Mr. Clackson to take up the invitation. Stabbing a person in the heart area, irrespective of a vest or not, is a dangerous activity."

Allen called the six-month sentence "extremely charitable" and gave Clackson credit for an early guilty plea and a harsh upbringing in Edmonton.

At the time of the incident, police said the vest was made from steel plates and mesh.

Clackson pleaded guilty to one count of criminal negligence causing bodily harm.

Defence lawyer Akram Attia told court that Clackson and Harder were "very close friends" and the stabbing was purely inadvertent. "There was absolutely no intention to cause harm. Stupidity ran deep that night."

Court heard that Harder was not co-operative with investigators after his recovery.

On Tuesday, Clackson also pleaded guilty to breaching numerous court orders and trying to cash a stolen cheque. The night he stabbed Harder, Clackson was on a court-ordered curfew and a no-contact order with his girlfriend, who witnessed the stabbing.

In the past two years, Clackson has been convicted of assault, mischief, drug possession and drug trafficking.

After credit for time served, Clackson has two months left to serve of the six-month sentence.

[Barrister]

How'd you find that one?

[Savonarola]

How'd you find that one?

Dave Barry's blog linked through the Miami Herald.

[CountDeMoney]

"There was absolutely no intention to cause harm. Stupidity ran deep that night."

What a great line.

[Barrister]

"There was absolutely no intention to cause harm. Stupidity ran deep that night."

What a great line.

Akram's a pretty funny guy. 

[Malthus]

You guys hate science and the experimental method, I see. 

[The Brain]

Huyser-Wierenga

Is he a futuristic megacorp?

[Barrister]

Huyser-Wierenga

Is he a futuristic megacorp?

*check's MHW's office*

Nope.

[The Brain]

 

[Savonarola]

Police: Oklahoma man, 33, killed stepfather with 'atomic wedgie'

MCLOUD, OKLA. — A 33-year-old man in Oklahoma allegedly killed his stepfather after a fight over the holidays by yanking underwear up the stepfather's back and over his head so that the waistband was around his neck, authorities said.

Records show Brad Davis, of McLoud, was arrested Tuesday and booked into the Pottawatomie County jail on a first-degree murder complaint for the death of his stepfather, Denver St. Clair.

Formal charges haven't been filed and there was no immediate listing in jail records for an attorney for Davis.

A phone message seeking comment with the sheriff's office was not returned Tuesday. No hearing has been scheduled.

A 10-page affidavit describes a fight that broke out Dec. 21 between Davis and St. Clair.

Davis told police in the affidavit that St. Clair tackled Davis into the kitchen area. Then, St. Clair hit Davis in the face several times before he could make it back to his feet, Davis told investigators.

Davis told police that he pulled St. Clair's underwear up over St. Clair's head, and later noticed that St. Clair was unconscious and called the police.

The state's medical examiner said Wednesday that St. Clair's cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head or asphyxia.

[Admiral Yi]

It's all fun and games until someone gets strangled by their own underwear.