TV/Movies Megathread

[Syt]

I had a hard time taking "The Siege" serious when I watched it the first time.

"Islamic terrorists blowing up a fully occupied bus in downtown New York? Yeah, right." 

[jimmy olsen]

Yes.

Btw, I know our spoiler code is annoying with this much stuff, but if you highlight it, it's okay.  Or not.  Fuck you, I do this for me.

[spoiler]

3)If they were going to use biological weapons, why such camera-friendly abominations, instead of, I dunno, airborne AIDS?  And why so many different classes of nasty?  There's the ambiguous genitalia monster, the zombie spermataphore, Starro the Conqeuror, and the xenomorph, none of which have any obvious superiority to one another nor to humans, nor do any of them possess any obvious specific combat role unfulfilled by the others.  Indeed, none of them are actually a match for organized humans with access to our civilization's technology, that is, both expressly designed or improvised weaponry, as demonstrated amply by Ellen Ripley.  This always bothered me about the bioweapon explanation for the xenomorphs, but, here--seriously, what the hell?  I guess actually there are only two real monsters in the film, the pussydick snake and the zombification virus that got into the dude scientist's cum, but as for the latter, WTF is up with that nonsense life cycle?  It's a pathogen, then when someone's infected with it, if they fuck someone, it implants as a baby, becoming a giant starfish, which later implants an egg that becomes a crypto-Alien xenomorph.  Are the Harrelsons' just fucking around up there?

3a)Quick follow-up question: what would've happened if he'd popped on her face?  Don't wait for the translation, answer now.
[/spoiler]

I agree with almost all your points, though I would note that in one of the books that were written as a sequel to Aliens, [spoiler]the W-Y corporations actually is so stupid as to set up a research facility on Earth which the Xenomorphs escape, and eventually overrun the Earth.[/spoiler]

[Tonitrus]

Sequel novels. 

[katmai]

Will someone please nuke SK and get rid of Timmay?

[garbon]

Finally saw The Avengers. I'd probably still do it over and still see it but man...

[11B4V]

Saw Sherlock Holmes....Still trying to figure out whether I like it or not.

[Ideologue]

Finally saw The Avengers. I'd probably still do it over and still see it but man...

[Ideologue]

Yes.

Btw, I know our spoiler code is annoying with this much stuff, but if you highlight it, it's okay.  Or not.  Fuck you, I do this for me.

[spoiler]

3)If they were going to use biological weapons, why such camera-friendly abominations, instead of, I dunno, airborne AIDS?  And why so many different classes of nasty?  There's the ambiguous genitalia monster, the zombie spermataphore, Starro the Conqeuror, and the xenomorph, none of which have any obvious superiority to one another nor to humans, nor do any of them possess any obvious specific combat role unfulfilled by the others.  Indeed, none of them are actually a match for organized humans with access to our civilization's technology, that is, both expressly designed or improvised weaponry, as demonstrated amply by Ellen Ripley.  This always bothered me about the bioweapon explanation for the xenomorphs, but, here--seriously, what the hell?  I guess actually there are only two real monsters in the film, the pussydick snake and the zombification virus that got into the dude scientist's cum, but as for the latter, WTF is up with that nonsense life cycle?  It's a pathogen, then when someone's infected with it, if they fuck someone, it implants as a baby, becoming a giant starfish, which later implants an egg that becomes a crypto-Alien xenomorph.  Are the Harrelsons' just fucking around up there?

3a)Quick follow-up question: what would've happened if he'd popped on her face?  Don't wait for the translation, answer now.
[/spoiler]

I agree with almost all your points, though I would note that in one of the books that were written as a sequel to Aliens, [spoiler]the W-Y corporations actually is so stupid as to set up a research facility on Earth which the Xenomorphs escape, and eventually overrun the Earth.[/spoiler]

I don't get how the xenomorphs are actually all that dangerous to human civilization as a whole, as opposed to isolated groups of humans.

Well, I guess their ability to grow and multiply without actually consuming matter is pretty impressive.

[jimmy olsen]

Yes.

Btw, I know our spoiler code is annoying with this much stuff, but if you highlight it, it's okay.  Or not.  Fuck you, I do this for me.

[spoiler]

3)If they were going to use biological weapons, why such camera-friendly abominations, instead of, I dunno, airborne AIDS?  And why so many different classes of nasty?  There's the ambiguous genitalia monster, the zombie spermataphore, Starro the Conqeuror, and the xenomorph, none of which have any obvious superiority to one another nor to humans, nor do any of them possess any obvious specific combat role unfulfilled by the others.  Indeed, none of them are actually a match for organized humans with access to our civilization's technology, that is, both expressly designed or improvised weaponry, as demonstrated amply by Ellen Ripley.  This always bothered me about the bioweapon explanation for the xenomorphs, but, here--seriously, what the hell?  I guess actually there are only two real monsters in the film, the pussydick snake and the zombification virus that got into the dude scientist's cum, but as for the latter, WTF is up with that nonsense life cycle?  It's a pathogen, then when someone's infected with it, if they fuck someone, it implants as a baby, becoming a giant starfish, which later implants an egg that becomes a crypto-Alien xenomorph.  Are the Harrelsons' just fucking around up there?

3a)Quick follow-up question: what would've happened if he'd popped on her face?  Don't wait for the translation, answer now.
[/spoiler]

I agree with almost all your points, though I would note that in one of the books that were written as a sequel to Aliens, [spoiler]the W-Y corporations actually is so stupid as to set up a research facility on Earth which the Xenomorphs escape, and eventually overrun the Earth.[/spoiler]

I don't get how the xenomorphs are actually all that dangerous to human civilization as a whole, as opposed to isolated groups of humans.

Well, I guess their ability to grow and multiply without actually consuming matter is pretty impressive.

Well, they weren't as long as they remained in the 1st world.  However, given the fact that when isolated for long enough a drone would transform into a queen it was all over once they got established in third world slums. Even in the 1st and 2nd movies were they did need matter, the incubation period was only a day. They quickly grew out of control beyond the ability of the local authorities to handle the situation.

[Queequeg]

[spoiler]1)Why would they tell ancient humans where their stockpile of unpleasant shit was located?  At the time, they seemed to like us, and it was only later they wished to destroy us.[/spoiler]

[spoiler]I thought it was a more general test facility, with a specific weapons component that became more important after the Engineers had decided to wipe out humanity.  [/spoiler]

[spoiler]2)Why did they develop these uncontrollable biological weapons instead of simply aiming perfectly controllable rocks at Earth, if they did wish to eliminate us?[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Xenomorphs are useful.[/spoiler] 

[spoiler]
3)If they were going to use biological weapons, why such camera-friendly abominations, instead of, I dunno, airborne AIDS?  And why so many different classes of nasty?  There's the ambiguous genitalia monster, the zombie spermataphore, Starro the Conqeuror, and the xenomorph, none of which have any obvious superiority to one another nor to humans, nor do any of them possess any obvious specific combat role unfulfilled by the others.  Indeed, none of them are actually a match for organized humans with access to our civilization's technology, that is, both expressly designed or improvised weaponry, as demonstrated amply by Ellen Ripley.  This always bothered me about the bioweapon explanation for the xenomorphs, but, here--seriously, what the hell?  I guess actually there are only two real monsters in the film, the pussydick snake and the zombification virus that got into the dude scientist's cum, but as for the latter, WTF is up with that nonsense life cycle?  It's a pathogen, then when someone's infected with it, if they fuck someone, it implants as a baby, becoming a giant starfish, which later implants an egg that becomes a crypto-Alien xenomorph.  Are the Harrelsons' just fucking around up there?

3a)Quick follow-up question: what would've happened if he'd popped on her face?  Don't wait for the translation, answer now[/spoiler].

[spoiler]I got the impression that the black fluid basically transforms stuff in a way that isn't totally predictable.  The local worms transformed in to massive ,vicious vagina-monsters with acid protective layer that could regrow a  head in seconds.  I think it's meant to be a bit creative.[/spoiler]

[spoiler]
You could say that aliens engineered human intelligence and form, using our immediate evolutionary ancestors, but that's not what is depicted at the beginning of Prometheus, which appears to show a Harrelson disintegrating himself at roughly the end of the Hadean or similar geological period, in order to deliver preexisting living chemicals to Earth.  Now maybe a fucked up dead body and, more likely, its single-celled hangers-on could lead to terrestrial biogenesis, despite the adverse conditions, but it's not a very efficient, or plausible, or remotely fucking possible, way to produce an intelligent species three billion years later that has the same or similar DNA.  If the opening scene is actually supposed to occur later, introducing a big mess of DNA into a river five million years ago doesn't do anything but feed the fish that live in that river.  It obviously does not affect human evolution any more than if I got eaten by a shark I could expect a race of mermen to come into being somewhere down the line.
[/spoiler]

[spoiler]I assumed that Engineer intervention was a continuous process, dating from the beginning of life on this planet up to 2,000 years ago.[/spoiler]

[Capetan Mihali]

I John Starks. 

Meeting John Starks was probably my biggest celebrity encounter.  Him, or Jose Baez (Casey Anthony's lawyer).  They both seemed like nice guys.

[garbon]

Finally saw The Avengers. I'd probably still do it over and still see it but man...

I found it mostly painful.

That's My Boy...pain to the extreme! Though the brother mostly naked all the time was hot except for his indented nipples.

[Darth Wagtaros]

Watching The Good the Bad and the Weird.  So far so good.

[Neil]

[spoiler]That one didn't make sense at all, to the extent it most egregiously violated two laws of thermodynamics.  1)It shouldn't have gotten bigger after leaving the body.  2)Growth at that rate would have generated so much waste heat it probably would've set her womb on fire.

Actually, after reflecting on Prometheus for a day and watching someone else's review of it, I've come to the conclusion it was kind of shitty, and the parts I liked--namely David, Fassbender being superb; the neat design of the race of Woody Harrelsons; and the deliberate refusal to explain the Harrelsons' motivations--had all anesthetized me to the stupid bits.  This is good because I didn't have to deal with them while watching the film, so I still enjoyed it as a movie experience.  But now that it's worn off, I'm really kinda pissed that so much potential was wasted.  Because there was a lot of potential, especially with David and all that ancient astronaut nonsense.

Here's a short list of things wrong:

1)Why would they tell ancient humans where their stockpile of unpleasant shit was located?  At the time, they seemed to like us, and it was only later they wished to destroy us.

2)Why did they develop these uncontrollable biological weapons instead of simply aiming perfectly controllable rocks at Earth, if they did wish to eliminate us?

3)If they were going to use biological weapons, why such camera-friendly abominations, instead of, I dunno, airborne AIDS?  And why so many different classes of nasty?  There's the ambiguous genitalia monster, the zombie spermataphore, Starro the Conqeuror, and the xenomorph, none of which have any obvious superiority to one another nor to humans, nor do any of them possess any obvious specific combat role unfulfilled by the others.  Indeed, none of them are actually a match for organized humans with access to our civilization's technology, that is, both expressly designed or improvised weaponry, as demonstrated amply by Ellen Ripley.  This always bothered me about the bioweapon explanation for the xenomorphs, but, here--seriously, what the hell?  I guess actually there are only two real monsters in the film, the pussydick snake and the zombification virus that got into the dude scientist's cum, but as for the latter, WTF is up with that nonsense life cycle?  It's a pathogen, then when someone's infected with it, if they fuck someone, it implants as a baby, becoming a giant starfish, which later implants an egg that becomes a crypto-Alien xenomorph.  Are the Harrelsons' just fucking around up there?

3a)Quick follow-up question: what would've happened if he'd popped on her face?  Don't wait for the translation, answer now.

4)Why is everyone so dumb?

5)Is it medically correct for someone leap ten feet down and anchor themselves with their upper body when they've just had serious abdominal surgery?

6)Seriously, you can't just dismiss the proven relationship between humans and all life on Earth, with one stupid line.  It's like that awful episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Chase"--actually, it's exactly like that episode, and while the ancient humanoids were nice in that, it misunderstands fundamentally how evolution, you know, basically works.

In TNG, the ancient humanoids "designed" us billions of years ago by "seeding" Earth.  Which you can't say happened, because it's roughly as stupid as saying that Mars has a breathable atmosphere or that you can go walk on the sun.  It's just not factually correct.

You could say that aliens engineered human intelligence and form, using our immediate evolutionary ancestors, but that's not what is depicted at the beginning of Prometheus, which appears to show a Harrelson disintegrating himself at roughly the end of the Hadean or similar geological period, in order to deliver preexisting living chemicals to Earth.  Now maybe a fucked up dead body and, more likely, its single-celled hangers-on could lead to terrestrial biogenesis, despite the adverse conditions, but it's not a very efficient, or plausible, or remotely fucking possible, way to produce an intelligent species three billion years later that has the same or similar DNA.  If the opening scene is actually supposed to occur later, introducing a big mess of DNA into a river five million years ago doesn't do anything but feed the fish that live in that river.  It obviously does not affect human evolution any more than if I got eaten by a shark I could expect a race of mermen to come into being somewhere down the line.

7)The premise of the movie is a lot like 2001 except much stupider, down even to an evil artificial intelligence.  It tries to make up for this with tentacle porn and an exploding alien head.  I guess that's cool, but it's pretty wasteful.

Of course, there's more, but those are the first seven that spring to mind.[/spoiler]

I am discarding the spoiler tags, since they're terrible and the movie's been out for a while.  If you don't like it, skip this post.

1.  It's possible that the facility changed purposes at some point over the last 30-odd millennia.

2.  Kinetic impactors are rather hard on the planet.

3.  It seems to me that the black goo is sufficiently lethal by itself and that the monsters are just a terror weapon.  Then again, if the side effects of your biological weapon involve filling the target with all kinds of dangerous monsters, then maybe kinetic impactors are a better choice.  LOL Starro.

3a.  Given her sterility, I wouldn't think it would be important.  She could have had a squid growing in any cavity in her body.  The real question would be:  If they never had sex, would the squid have gestated spontaneously in his balls?

4.  Because, as is usual for the genre, wise precaution and clever thinking would make for a short, dull movie.

5.  I was just thinking the same thing.  I don't know what she's injecting herself with, but when her abdominal cavity is being held closed with staples, it would seem unlikely that she would be able to engage in a grueling athletic display.  Still, her mind seems to be sharp enough that she realized that she should move perpendicular to the rolling ship's axis of advance.  They didn't teach Charlize that in the boardroom.

6.  I assume that the scene at the opening of the movie takes place roughly 3.5 billion years ago, and that scenes like it happened on more than one world.  There's no way that they would spend countless millions of years developing a species, and leave it all to chance in some cosmic accident.  We're looking at a potentially very friendly universe for mankind, which seems to fit with the universe that the Alien movies took place in.  Imagine thousands of worlds around the galaxy stocked with life that we share a common ancestry with.

7.  There's some similar themes, but it strikes me as different.

[jimmy olsen]

4.  Because, as is usual for the genre, wise precaution and clever thinking would make for a short, dull movie.

Bah, monsters are even more scary when they defeat clever protagonists through overwhelming brawn or wit.