TV/Movies Megathread

[Eddie Teach]

 

D+ is definitely "bad". Of course, the way Ide grades, a C+ is "bad".

[Josquius]

The  Class of 92- Documentary about the players that came through the early 90s Man Utd youth system. It would make an awsome dramatised film, thought that was what it was going to be when I first heard about it. Shame.
It was actually kind of depressing for some reason. I guess it was that it talked about guys I've never heard of who didn't make it, in the same breath as those who became mega stars.

Things I've watched lately, some of which I will review:

Byzantium (2013).  Boredom!  Stupidity!  Breasts!  (Spellus, you make a fine point, though someone needs to run her character through about five hundred "rain in Spains.") C

Your scale is fucking weird!
C is supposed to be "average", and you said previously it wasn't "bad".
Byzantium deserves no better than D+, and I'm in a generous mood tonight.

C is a passing grade. If something isn't bad then it doesn't deserve a D. C is quite thoroughly average.

[jimmy olsen]

Pinocchio (1940).  This plot is retarded!  YET MONSTRO! B+

The guy who turns kids into donkeys and then sells them to work in salt mines must be the most evil villain in Disney history that gets away scott free.

[jimmy olsen]

You might as well argue that it isn't plausible that the Federation would form in Star Trek, or that it isn't plausible that elves would ally with humans in the Lord of the Rings, or that super fascist nation states would dominate the world in 1984. None of those are "plausible" but they are the basis for the universe the author has created, and you simply have to accept that in THAT universe, that is what has happened.

What exactly do you mean by plausible?

If the Elves don't ally with the humans then Morgoth/Sauron wins.

[viper37]

Be nice to Tricia- her in-laws are good friends of mine, and own the best music venue in Hattiesburg.

Also, she's frickin' hot.

I have nothing against her, if you re-read what I posted, it's clear I admire her, and not only for her looks.

I really do believe she is a talented actress, and I will admit it took me a while to realize it, because she just seemed "a pretty looking girl" to me at first; only when I saw her in a guest role on Supernatural did I realize how talented she was.

It's just the show I don't like.  I think she does well with the material she's given, I can truly believe she's a Texas Ranger all like she portrays it (contrary to many shows where the girl just don't look&act like a cop or a soldier).  But the show is highly unimaginative.  Something like Justified is miles ahead of this series.

[Queequeg]

The Hunt
So are 70% of Danes millionaire interior decorators? Where are your tasteless people? Why are your houses so gorgeous? Your apartments tasteful and spacious?

[viper37]

The  Class of 92- Documentary about the players that came through the early 90s Man Utd youth system. It would make an awsome dramatised film, thought that was what it was going to be when I first heard about it. Shame.
It was actually kind of depressing for some reason. I guess it was that it talked about guys I've never heard of who didn't make it, in the same breath as those who became mega stars.

Things I've watched lately, some of which I will review:

Byzantium (2013).  Boredom!  Stupidity!  Breasts!  (Spellus, you make a fine point, though someone needs to run her character through about five hundred "rain in Spains.") C

Your scale is fucking weird!
C is supposed to be "average", and you said previously it wasn't "bad".
Byzantium deserves no better than D+, and I'm in a generous mood tonight.

C is a passing grade. If something isn't bad then it doesn't deserve a D. C is quite thoroughly average.

I think Byzantium is bad.

[celedhring]

Pinocchio (1940).  This plot is retarded!  YET MONSTRO! B+

The guy who turns kids into donkeys and then sells them to work in salt mines must be the most evil villain in Disney history that gets away scott free.

Old Disney movies are so un-PC by today's standards it's ridiculous. Dumbo is so wrong on so many levels in that regard: the racist depiction of the crow characters, Dumbo having an LSD trip after drinking soap, no way that could released in this day and age. 

[jimmy olsen]

Most of the movies on this list were awesome, so I guess the lesson is that kids should be traumatized more.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19265_9-traumatizing-moments-from-classic-kids-movies.html?wa_user1=6&wa_user2=Movies+%26+TV&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended

[Syt]

Pinocchio (1940).  This plot is retarded!  YET MONSTRO! B+

The guy who turns kids into donkeys and then sells them to work in salt mines must be the most evil villain in Disney history that gets away scott free.

Old Disney movies are so un-PC by today's standards it's ridiculous. Dumbo is so wrong on so many levels in that regard: the racist depiction of the crow characters, Dumbo having an LSD trip after drinking soap, no way that could released in this day and age. 

Alice in Wonderland is one big acid trip. Not to mention the smoking caterpillar.

[Ideologue]

D+ is definitely "bad". Of course, the way Ide grades, a C+ is "bad".

Correct.

I'll forego the usual "C average students mop floors for a living" metaphor and just say that, although I feel there are some qualitative differences, quantitatively the A+ through F scale actually maps perfectly onto a 4 star system--and a C is equivalent to one and half of them, not usually considered a good rating, not so as you'd put on the poster anyway.

Anyway, the D-range is for films that actively offend me.

[The Larch]

D+ is definitely "bad". Of course, the way Ide grades, a C+ is "bad".

Correct.

I'll forego the usual "C average students mop floors for a living" metaphor and just say that, although I feel there are some qualitative differences, quantitatively the A+ through F scale actually maps perfectly onto a 4 star system--and a C is equivalent to one and half of them, not usually considered a good rating, not so as you'd put on the poster anyway.

Anyway, the D-range is for films that actively offend me.

And what kind of film deserves an F, then?

I'd argue that a C is equivalent to a 2 star review. Not terrible, but nothing to write home about either.

[Scipio]

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. This is the big action flick with Famke Janssen, Gemma Arterton, and Jeremy Renner, directed by the Dead Snow guy. Actually quite enjoyable, in a totally stupid steampunk way. Makes Wanted look like a Merchant Ivory production. I'd give it a C+/B-. Lots of great scene chewing from Peter Stormare and Famke Janssen (who despite her age is still damn hot).

[Ideologue]

And what kind of film deserves an F, then?

I'd argue that a C is equivalent to a 2 star review. Not terrible, but nothing to write home about either.

Like I said, it maps totally, A+ = 4, F = 0; but I agree that it does seem nicer, in that a "B" sounds so much better than "two and a half stars" (famously, the grade Leonard Maltin gave Laserblast).  And that's well, because at 0, .5., and 1, or F, D, and D+, you're differentiating between crap that you truly hate.  I didn't hate Byzantium, though, which is at a base level a competently-made picture and not at all devoid of points of interest, although it is a little dull and more than a little dumb; so it earned its C.

C's aren't average, anyway, B's are--but I will say that, as far as marquee titles go, the average is probably somewhere between C+ (marginally disappointing, I felt cheated) and B (basically okay, recommendable with caveats, I would watch this again sometime).

But to answer your question, an F is for true failures, that are--for all intents and purposes--devoid of anything worth watching.  So, it's also a rare grade, and the only Fs I can think of off the top of my head are Hunger Games, Battle Royale II, After Last Season, Aerograd, and Zontar, the Thing From Venus (a few films from the MST3K canon are probably Fs too, e.g. The Beast of Yucca Flats, but I've never seen them in their original forms, so can only say they're so bad and boring even riffing doesn't make them fully watchable).  I didn't see an F at all in 2013, although one is very, very close.

[Ed Anger]

This is why my ratings system is better. Fucks can't argue about it.