TV/Movies Megathread

[Viking]

Whatever.  Allison Williams is gorgeous.

She doesn't get her tits out though...

[Queequeg]

I used to think Kirke was gorgeous, but I saw a nude picture of her pregnant that kind of ruined it.

[Ideologue]

Ide, Can we get a review of

Stalingrad (2013)

Is it Za Rodina!! or Mikhail Bayski?

Is it available in the States?  If so, probably; I need another twenty or so 2013 movies to hit 100.  However, I bet it doesn't have any universal truths espoused about how to achieve true socialism Rachel Weisz really should throw a guy a pity fuck.

Things I've watched lately, some of which I will review:

Suspira (1977).  Colors!  Ultraviolence! Nonsense!  B 

Byzantium (2013).  Boredom!  Stupidity!  Breasts!  (Spellus, you make a fine point, though someone needs to run her character through about five hundred "rain in Spains.") C

Harakiri (1962).  Gorgeous black and white widescreen compositions!  Ultraviolence!  Amazing fight choreography!  Failed elites who can't find work! A+

Samurai Rebellion (1964).  Romance!  Terrible fight choreography!  The moral bankruptcy of Japan prior to 1945! B+

Fantasia (1940).  Colors!  Animation in its purest form!  Music!  Centaurs!  A+

Fantasia 2000 (2000).  Likewise, but significantly less of all, and no centaurs at all, replaced by unnecessary celebrity cameos!  I like the Donald Duck "Pomp and Circumstance" better than the Mickey Mouse "Sorceror's Apprentice," possibly because I obviously don't understand art but probably because it's just funnier! B+

Pinocchio (1940).  This plot is retarded!  YET MONSTRO! B+

Her (2013).  Romance!  Pastels!  A great vocal performance!  Hard sci fi!  What must be a great deal of jerking off!  One of the best movies of last year! A+

[Queequeg]

Whatever.  Allison Williams is gorgeous.

She doesn't get her tits out though...

She'll do it eventually, and she routinely comes very close. 

[Queequeg]

Byzantium (2013).  Boredom!  Stupidity!  Breasts!  (Spellus, you make a fine point, though someone needs to run her character through about five hundred "rain in Spains.") C

I liked it quite a bit. It's incredibly gorgeous, one of the best looking movies of the year.  I liked the take on the psychology of vampires; that they're more or less frozen psychologically, still deranged and damaged from their short look at life.  The cast was great.  [spoiler]I really liked some of the other mythos innovations; the red waterfall was an incredibly arresting image, and the general look of decadence and decay was wondeful.[/spoiler]

It's funny you reviewed Suspiria in the same post, cause that's what it reminded me of.  Plot incoherence, beauty, and some pretty intense emotional moment.  I wouldn't give it a grade; it's worth seeing, has some profound virtues and some obvious faults.  Worth seeing.

And yeah, those are seriously some of the best tits in movie history.  Jesus. 

[FunkMonk]

Allison Williams is gorgeous.

I agree.

[Ideologue]

Did you watch Stoker?  I feel like we talked briefly about it when I reviewed it.  In terms of tone, and in terms of cinematography, Byzantium felt like a shitty version of Stoker to me.  And since Stoker already half-sucked...

I did like the blood waterfall.  That was rad.  I did not like it when someone's short story about vampires, in 2013, became a cause for Das Boot-levels of ALARM.

I wouldn't compare it to Suspiria because I forgot to mention the awesomest thing about Suspiria, which is what plants it firmly into the "good" to "very good" camp and really may make it more worthy of a B+ than a B (the production design alone is probably enough for a B): Goblin.  Whereas I don't recall if Byzantium even had a score.

This also reminded me of Stoker, which had the worst Clint Mansell score in recorded time, to the extent I was shocked and dismayed to discover it was him.  (Also, both featured diegetic piano recitals heavily, although again, advantage: Stoker.)

Finally, has Saoirse Ronan ever been in a good movie?

[Queequeg]

Stoker had no characters worth empathizing with, few of the main characters had any interesting underlying motivations, and purtyness of the visuals just managed to aestheticize pointless violence.  Byzantium builds up an effective atmosphere  of dread, for all it's 3rd act problems. 

[Ed Anger]

I liked Stroker Ace.

[katmai]

I liked Stroker Ace.

+1

[Viking]

Whatever.  Allison Williams is gorgeous.

She doesn't get her tits out though...

She'll do it eventually, and she routinely comes very close.

She wants to be a proper movie star, so no, she'll never get close.

[Eddie Teach]

She wants to be a proper movie star, so no, she'll never get close.

A lot of A-listers have done nude scenes.

[Viking]

She wants to be a proper movie star, so no, she'll never get close.

A lot of A-listers have done nude scenes.

Not the A-Grade Vanilla types she would probably want to emulate. But still, when they did it was either disastrous or oscar bait. You don't go full retard and you only flash your tits for an oscar.

[The Brain]

Languishites return from Google Image Search of Lena Dunham.

[Sophie Scholl]

Finally, has Saoirse Ronan ever been in a good movie?

Here's to holding out a bit of hope for The Grand Budapest Hotel...