[Gay] Lesbians parents better at raising children

[Valmy]

I'm typically on the nurture side although I don't know what to make of sexuality. Anyway, trying to have sex with guys would be a start.

Would having sex with girls change your sexuality?

[Barrister]

I actually would not find it at all surprising if gay couples were lsightly better parents than the general population.

Neither would I.  Straight couples accidentally become parents - which doesn't mean that those parents will necessarily be bad at it.  But I think generally the couples who have thought it through very intently before becoming parents would do better.

You're coming into the conversation late.

I don't think gay couples become parents any more deliberately than do straight couples.  In particular, most gay couples (in my anecdotal experience) have children as a result of one or both of them being in a previously straight relationship.

[Eddie Teach]

I'm typically on the nurture side although I don't know what to make of sexuality. Anyway, trying to have sex with guys would be a start.

Would having sex with girls change your sexuality?

He might grow to like it.

[Faeelin]

I don't think gay couples become parents any more deliberately than do straight couples.  In particular, most gay couples (in my anecdotal experience) have children as a result of one or both of them being in a previously straight relationship.

Herm. I am trying to think of a nice way to suggest this is an age thing.

[Eddie Teach]

Most couples your age don't have any kids, Fae.

[Sheilbh]

I don't think gay couples become parents any more deliberately than do straight couples.  In particular, most gay couples (in my anecdotal experience) have children as a result of one or both of them being in a previously straight relationship.

Okay but there's still a proportionally higher number of adoptions - which are difficult and thought through.  In my own anecdotal experience I've known more gay men who were married and have since come out (and lost custody) than lesbians who had children.

[Razgovory]

Well, we could start by locking you up in an all-male prision for a few years ... 

[On a serious note: "situational homosexuality"]

Having sex with men because there are no women available would not change my sexuality

Try it and find out.  Tell the wife first though.

[Faeelin]

Most couples your age don't have any kids, Fae.

That's certainly true, although a horrifying number of them are getting married. But I'm not sure the sample result would be the same based on age and location. Growing up in Jersey, the lesbians we knew had their kid artificially, through mad science.

[Sheilbh]

That's certainly true, although a horrifying number of them are getting married. But I'm not sure the sample result would be the same based on age and location. Growing up in Jersey, the lesbians we knew had their kid artificially, through mad science.

I know of a lot of people my age getting married.  Most of them are hard-core Christians gagging for a shag.

[garbon]

Would having sex with girls change your sexuality?

You said that you didn't even know where to begin.

And if changing sexuality just means moving it from a check one box to something more fluid, I could possibly see that for myself. After all, there are some women that I would consider having sex with - although it would certainly at this point be more laborious than gay sex.

[Martinus]

What we do know however, is that sexuality can change over time.

I don't think we know that. Do we?

Anecdotally, I can think of three instances of "sexuality changing over time":
- straight people in prisons, monasteries and the like adopting homosexual behaviour,
- people who considered themselves straight coming out as gay at a later age,
- gay people "praying the gay away" (or undergoing other form of a "therapy") to go straight.

Each can be easily explained away psychologically as something else than "sexuality changing over time".

What I know - and perhaps that's what you mean by your term "elastic" - is that sexuality is not binary.

I know straight guys who (despite what gays may fantasize) would not have sex with another guy no matter what. I know predominantly straight guys who occasionally enjoy a shag with another guy. I know guys who swing both ways in equal measure. I know gay guys who are capable of having straight sex with a girl from time to time. And I know guys like me who never even entertained the thought of having sex with a girl, or dating or kissing one - the very idea disgusts me.

It may seem like for people who are capable of swinging both ways (whether in equal measure or with a focus on one sex over the other), sexuality "can change over time", but I don't think this is the case.

[Eddie Teach]

Anecdotally, I can think of three instances of "sexuality changing over time":
- straight people in prisons, monasteries and the like adopting homosexual behaviour,
- people who considered themselves straight coming out as gay at a later age,
- gay people "praying the gay away" (or undergoing other form of a "therapy") to go straight.

4- Anne Heche

[Martinus]

Yeah I disagree but then I tend to lean towards the nature part of the nature/nurture debate.  I mean if I wanted to change my sexuality how would I go about it?

I'm typically on the nurture side although I don't know what to make of sexuality. Anyway, trying to have sex with guys would be a start.

I think it is nature AND nurture. The problem with the nurture side of the equation, however, is that too many people equate it with more or less conscious, or at least visible and understandable aspects of upbringing, whereas I think it's more a whole range of environmental influences or "triggers" that are beyond our control.

[katmai]

Can we all agree that

everybody> marti
when it comes to parenting

[Martinus]

Can we all agree that

everybody> marti
when it comes to parenting

No. The woman with a 4 yo. in a freezer was worse.