The Off Topic Topic

[derspiess]

So without my knowledge the wife decided to get a cleaning lady.  Guess I need to stock up on Lemon Pledge

That's a euphemism, isn't it.

[Maladict]

Dutch prisoners are to receive the key to their cell, and in some cases, their block.
The keys are activated at 7 AM and deactivated at 5 PM in a bid to give the prisoners more responsibility.

Guards welcome the idea as it saves them a lot of work. Some prisoners are having a hard time dealing with the responsibility, though:
"you have to remember to lock the door to keep your stuff safe. It is prison, you know."

[derspiess]

That would probably work great in the US.

[Ed Anger]

That would probably work great in the US.

Is that all you've got to say? Racist.

[sbr]

[Malthus]

... and don't even get started on Tinder. 

[Admiral Yi]

Finally made it to the local Catholic store (there actually is such a thing) and bought a St. Jude's medal.

The older Austrian lady running the place told me in order for it to work I have to get it blessed by a priest.  I asked her if he'll do even if I'm not Catholic.  She said I don't have to tell him.

[Barrister]

Finally made it to the local Catholic store (there actually is such a thing) and bought a St. Jude's medal.

The older Austrian lady running the place told me in order for it to work I have to get it blessed by a priest.  I asked her if he'll do even if I'm not Catholic.  She said I don't have to tell him.

And why would you do such a thing?

[Savonarola]

Finally made it to the local Catholic store (there actually is such a thing) and bought a St. Jude's medal.

The older Austrian lady running the place told me in order for it to work I have to get it blessed by a priest.  I asked her if he'll do even if I'm not Catholic.  She said I don't have to tell him.

St. Jude is the patron of hopeless causes; is everything okay?

[Sheilbh]

Finally made it to the local Catholic store (there actually is such a thing) and bought a St. Jude's medal.

The older Austrian lady running the place told me in order for it to work I have to get it blessed by a priest.  I asked her if he'll do even if I'm not Catholic.  She said I don't have to tell him.

Ah God bless her.

Your heathen soul might not care but at least she tried

As an aside there's nothing odd about a Priest blessing a non-Catholic, they'll do it every mass at communion. It's not a sacrament. It's more like a gold star for colouring in/existing.

[Barrister]

Finally made it to the local Catholic store (there actually is such a thing) and bought a St. Jude's medal.

The older Austrian lady running the place told me in order for it to work I have to get it blessed by a priest.  I asked her if he'll do even if I'm not Catholic.  She said I don't have to tell him.

Ah God bless her.

Your heathen soul might not care but at least she tried

As an aside there's nothing odd about a Priest blessing a non-Catholic, they'll do it every mass at communion. It's not a sacrament. It's more like a gold star for colouring in/existing.

Yeah, that always felt very patronizing to me at mass at my Jesuit high school.

[Sheilbh]

Could be worse. I once went to an Anglican service and got asked to join a prayer circle at the altar.

Never left a building so quick

Edit: And as a kid I used to get taken out of assembly when the local Kirk Minister would bore on to go and sit with the other couple of Catholic kids and the priest (probably not allowed now) and go through Sunday school stuff to avoid the dangerous touch of Presbyterianism

[Barrister]

Could be worse. I once went to an Anglican service and got asked to join a prayer circle at the altar.

Never left a building so quick

Edit: And as a kid I used to get taken out of assembly when the local Kirk Minister would bore on to go and sit with the other couple of Catholic kids and the priest (probably not allowed now) and go through Sunday school stuff to avoid the dangerous touch of Presbyterianism

You know when I'm spending my week up in the highlands I'm of half a mind to go to a small-town Presbyterian service.  Canadian Presbyterians are pretty mushy, I wonder if Highland scots are a little more old-school.

[Duque de Bragança]

Calvinists 

[Sheilbh]

No they've even started to support guy marriage...

If you're on an island you might get some of the old time religion. If not look for anything in front of Kirk of Scotland. Like the Free Kirk of Scotland (wee frees) or the High Free kirk of Scotland (wee wee frees). Mostly it'll be boring though. No set book of prayers so expect twenty minute improvised 'let us pray' and a boring sermon.

Your average minister, the legendary Rev. I M Jolly:
https://youtu.be/QSDaNIdmV-Y

Edit: I love this from the Free Kirk wiki:
Since its inauguration until the events of 2010, only the psalms of the Old Testament (and in a very few instances, paraphrases of other parts of the Bible) were sung during the services. Musical instruments were never used.

'The events of 2010' being a decision to allow the singing of hymns and the use of musical instruments