The Off Topic Topic

[Jacob]

I seriously don't understand how it's supposed to be a punishment.

I get to bang Lexi Belle and get paid $17,000?  That's almost a whole semester of college.

Do you think he'll take up the offer?

[Ideologue]

More PowerPoints means more e-discovery.  We need more PowerPoints.

No, more electronic documents means more e-discovery.  Plus, you realize more e-discovery means more work for companies like mine replacing drones like you, right?

I dunno.  The transparency state will still need experienced document reviewers.

[Malthus]

So apparently, the guy who outed the Duke student who is doing porn to pay her tuition is getting a bit of attention too (and an offer to star in porn): http://cltampa.com/bedpost/archives/2014/03/06/bully-who-outed-duke-porn-star-has-his-porn-preferences-publicized#.Uxo7q-ddXdY

Dear Mr. Bagley,
First off, I would like to thank you for being such a fan of our business. For someone who subscribes to a site like Facial Abuse I want to commend you for spending the $200 a week your parents send you every week for living expenses wisely. Facial Abuse is a great site! There is nothing like watching a new girl getting a huge cock viciously rammed down her throat. I like your taste!

I want to also commend you on getting accepted into Duke. Great school! I am sure your parents are proud. I bet you pull straight A's when you're not whacking it to Facial Abuse and Casting Couch movies. I love our fans and I love you! You are the type of guy that makes our business move.

With that I would like to make you an offer. As I sit here in my office at 6:30 on a Wednesday night I am writing a check for $10,000 to pay to the order of Thomas Bagley. I want to give you the opportunity to live out all your fantasies. In addition to that 10K, there is a plane ticket and hotel room with your name on it out here in sunny Los Angeles. Screw the polar vortex. Get your ass out and come shoot for us! I will give you the opportunity to bang ANY porn star you want. We will make you a celebrity because it is apparent how much you love porn and attention.

10 Grand is a lot of money for a kid like you. Do you know how many porn memberships you could buy with that? That is more than a lifetime membership to Facial Abuse!

I ask that you seriously consider our offer. Any girl you want! Come out to LA and become a star. ALSO, for every inch you are packing over 4, I will throw in an EXTRA $1,000. Get your tiny pecker out here and become the next Ron Jeremy kiddo!

All my best,

Mike Kulich
CEO
Monarchy Distribution

It would be really bizzare situation if he accepted that offer - and specified that the porn star he wanted to "facially abuse" is ... Belle Knox.   

[Barrister]

I seriously don't understand how it's supposed to be a punishment.

I get to bang Lexi Belle and get paid $17,000?  That's almost a whole semester of college.

You expect us to believe you have an 11" penis?

[Ideologue]

I seriously don't understand how it's supposed to be a punishment.

I get to bang Lexi Belle and get paid $17,000?  That's almost a whole semester of college.

Do you think he'll take up the offer?

Wouldn't you?  Money is money.  He also, probably, doesn't have a four inch penis; and even if he does, who cares?  Nobody; or at least, nobody soon.  It's not the public shaming you think it is, and even if it were, fifteen minutes of humiliation is worth ten grand any day.

Also I think you'd get a free STD test, which costs $200.  Score!

[Ideologue]

I seriously don't understand how it's supposed to be a punishment.

I get to bang Lexi Belle and get paid $17,000?  That's almost a whole semester of college.

You expect us to believe you have an 11" penis?

No.

[Valmy]

It would be really bizzare situation if he accepted that offer - and specified that the porn star he wanted to "facially abuse" is ... Belle Knox.   

Maybe that was his plan all along: his fantasy come to life!

[alfred russel]

Wouldn't you?  Money is money.  He also, probably, doesn't have a four inch penis; and even if he does, who cares?  Nobody; or at least, nobody soon.  It's not the public shaming you think it is, and even if it were, fifteen minutes of humiliation is worth ten grand any day.

Also I think you'd get a free STD test, which cost $200.  Score!

Once again Ide shows off the decision making process that leads him to fail. 

[Ideologue]

That's unfair.  I corrected my subject-verb agreement.

[Malthus]

I seriously don't understand how it's supposed to be a punishment.

I get to bang Lexi Belle and get paid $17,000?  That's almost a whole semester of college.

You expect us to believe you have an 11" penis?

No.

I note you do not deny having one that size, just our willingness to believe it. 

[Ideologue]

I do not now, nor ever have, had an 11" penis.

Although it would be pretty cool.

Anyway, AR, please elaborate on the negative consequences you believe would ensue from accepting this legally binding offer.

[The Brain]

I do not now, nor ever have, had an 11" penis.

Although it would be pretty cool.

OK DGuller.

[Ideologue]

I know.  That too is written like my first language wasn't English.

[alfred russel]

Anyway, AR, please elaborate on the negative consequences you believe would ensue from accepting this legally binding offer.

This is precisely the sort of thing that no one wants to have their name associated with. The guy is a Duke student, and likely to embark on a professional career. Does he really want to have a porno tape out there? This is already going to be a google result that almost any hiring company will find. If it just costs him one job opportunity, that could easily exceed $17k.

Also, who wants to meet a future in laws as the former porn star? Or have your kids find this stuff? Or your kids classmates?

[Ideologue]

I think you overestimate how big a deal it would be, especially five years or a decade from now.