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The Off Topic Topic

Started by Korea, March 10, 2009, 06:24:26 AM

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Phillip V

Good. We need more children.

derspiess

So I can't eat anything today because I have a colonoscopy tomorrow.  So naturally this was the night Tommy demanded we get pizza.  The smell is killing me.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Admiral Yi

Quote from: derspiess on June 26, 2013, 06:53:57 PM
So I can't eat anything today because I have a colonoscopy tomorrow.  So naturally this was the night Tommy demanded we get pizza.  The smell is killing me.

My sawbones told me men don't need to start getting the anal probe until age 50.

Ed Anger

Quote from: CountDeMoney on June 26, 2013, 02:23:55 PM
I'd be the worst husband.

Preggo chicks totally creep me out sexually so that's 9 months of abstinence right there, and after witnessing Junior's official league-endorsed helmet popping through it like Earl Fucking Campbell, I don't think I could approach that roast beef platter for a year.

Better off sticking with spayed cats.

I love preggo chicks. :perv:
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Phillip V

Quote from: Admiral Yi on June 26, 2013, 07:02:22 PM
Quote from: derspiess on June 26, 2013, 06:53:57 PM
So I can't eat anything today because I have a colonoscopy tomorrow.  So naturally this was the night Tommy demanded we get pizza.  The smell is killing me.

My sawbones told me men don't need to start getting the anal probe until age 50.

It's a good moneymaker.

derspiess

Quote from: Admiral Yi on June 26, 2013, 07:02:22 PM
Quote from: derspiess on June 26, 2013, 06:53:57 PM
So I can't eat anything today because I have a colonoscopy tomorrow.  So naturally this was the night Tommy demanded we get pizza.  The smell is killing me.

My sawbones told me men don't need to start getting the anal probe until age 50.

I believe that's true-- unless you have Crohn's.  I get one every couple of years.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

mongers

Quote from: Grey Fox on June 26, 2013, 06:09:17 PM
He's born!

Congratulations :cheers:


But you can stop now, you don't need to prove to us you're not gay.   :P


ps - you should start your own attention whore thread, others have and it certainly doesn't just deserve an OTT post.
"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

The Brain

Women want me. Men want to be with me.

DGuller

Quote from: Admiral Yi on June 26, 2013, 07:02:22 PM
Quote from: derspiess on June 26, 2013, 06:53:57 PM
So I can't eat anything today because I have a colonoscopy tomorrow.  So naturally this was the night Tommy demanded we get pizza.  The smell is killing me.

My sawbones told me men don't need to start getting the anal probe until age 50.
Sometimes you have to think about what you want, not just what you need.

derspiess

The stuff you have to drink to prep for the exam tastes just lovely.  But hey, I get to have chicken broth for dinner and green jello for dessert. 
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Ed Anger

Mmmmmm, jug of laxative.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

derspiess

Quote from: Ed Anger on June 26, 2013, 07:14:01 PM
Mmmmmm, jug of laxative.

Had to chase it with 12 oz. of Mountain Dew.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

Ed Anger

I had to do that test when I was 14. Back then, a hospital stay was required.

So there I was, young and repeatedly getting up to shit while a guy was dying in the othe half of the room.

FUN TIMES.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

derspiess

Quote from: Ed Anger on June 26, 2013, 07:19:28 PM
I had to do that test when I was 14. Back then, a hospital stay was required.

So there I was, young and repeatedly getting up to shit while a guy was dying in the othe half of the room.

FUN TIMES.

I got my first one when I was hospitalized for an extreme Crohn's flare-up (the one that finally got me diagnosed with it).  The dude I was sharing a room with broke his leg and had to have some sort of surgery.  His nurses kept bugging him to pee but he just didn't have to go.  When they threatened to break out the catheter he asked me to pee in a jug for him to avoid the unthinkable.  I didn't want to hear anyone go through that, so I obliged. 
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

katmai

Quote from: Ed Anger on June 26, 2013, 07:19:28 PM
I had to do that test when I was 14. Back then, a hospital stay was required.

So there I was, young and repeatedly getting up to shit while a guy was dying in the othe half of the room.

FUN TIMES.
FFS you and meri aren't allowed to procreate. The kids wouldn't make it to birth.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son