The Off Topic Topic

[celedhring]

Plenty of high ground to go around, indeed.

[The Larch]

Some absolute madman/legend has done a complete reworking of Eurovision voting results throughout the years in order to introduce weighted voting by population (the more population a country has, the more votes it gets) and see who would have been the winners had the votes been given that way. It does introduce quite an alternative world in which I'm not too sure if I'd want to live. Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lE6JAHTwl4

Main highlights:

- Out of the 64 editions, 27 would have a different winner.
- The period between the late 50s and mid 60s turns into the reign of terror of the chanson, with an overwhelming amount of winners singing in French (but not necessarily being French, with winners from Switzerland, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Monaco). Only the Netherlands in 1959 and Italy in 1964 (same winners as in reality) can weather the onslaught, until Ireland in 1967 (different winner, the UK won that year) finally seals the demise of chanteurs and chanteuses.
- The controversial 1969 4 way tie between France, the Netherlands, Spain and the UK is decided in favour of Spain (with the absolute banger "Vivo cantando", which I'm sure can still be heard nowadays in every village festival in the country).
- No ABBA's "Waterloo" win in 1974!  The UK's entrant takes the win instead with "Long Live Love" by... Olivia Newton-John!
- No Celine Dion win in 1988 either! The UK's entrant once again takes the cake instead, this time "Go" by a certain scott Fitzgerald.
- No Dana International win in 1998 as well! Once again the UK's entrant, true kings of upsets at this point, win this year's edition, with Imani's "Where are you?".
- No Lordi's "Hard Rock Hallelujah" in 2006! This time it's Turkey's "Super Star", by Sibel Tüzüm wins instead.
- Turkey's alteration of reality doesn't go unpunished, though, as in 2008 they'll have to cede the title (Turkey wins the 2006 & 07 editions in this alternative timeline) to Armenia in their home ground.
- The geopolitical nightmare is not over, as in 2011 Armenia (winners again in 2010 in the alternative timeline) this time have to acknowledge a win by Azerbaijan (same as in reality, but that took place in Germany instead).

In this alternative timeline, these are the winner rankings:

- 7 wins: UK (1970, 1974, 1988, 1989, 1992, 1997, 1998)
- 5 wins: France (1957, 1960, 1962, 1976, 1977); Ireland (1967, 1980, 1987, 1994, 1996); Spain (1968, 1969, 1973, 1979, 1990).
- 4 wins: Luxembourg (1961, 1965, 1972, 1983).
- 3 wins: Belgium (1958, 1966, 1986); Italy (1964, 2015, 2019); Germany (1981, 1982, 1999); Sweden (1984, 1991, 2012); Norway (1985, 1995, 2009); Armenia (2008, 2010, 2016).
- 2 wins: Switzerland (1956, 1993); Netherlands (1959, 1975); Monaco (1963, 1971); Israel (1978, 2018); Denmark (2000, 2013); Romania (2002, 2003); Turkey (2006, 2007).
- 1 win: Estonia (2001); Ukraine (2004); Greece (2005); Azerbaijan (2011); Austria (2014); Portugal (2017).

It seems that this alternative universe does away with the voting blocs, as the Scandi mafia is quite diminished (Sweden loses 3 wins and Denmark 1) and Russia doesn't get anywhere near the top spots, instead Armenia becomes a musical powerhouse, who would have thought. The UK and Ireland swap places in the ranking, but it must be said that many of the UK winning songs in the 80s and 90s are actually quite terrible IMO. Spain seems to be one of the largest winners if not the largest in this one, becoming another powerhouse, although a bit of a has-been, same as in reality. Italy, strangely enough, becomes stronger in later years instead.

[Admiral Yi]

How do Olivia Newton John and Celine Dion get to participate in Eurovision?  Some bullshit Commonwealth exception?

[Syt]

How do Olivia Newton John and Celine Dion get to participate in Eurovision?  Some bullshit Commonwealth exception?

I think technically, it's a song writer contest, so the performing artist's nationality is not the governing criterium.

[The Larch]

Yup, a country doesn't have to necessarily send a performer from its own country, and not even the songwriters have to be from the country, it's whoever they decide to send. There's a non-insignificant amount of mercenary performers who have performed for countries different than their own throughout the years, and since almost the very beginning (IIRC France exported lots of performers to other countries during that period, at least two of the ones representing Luxembourg that won in the early days were actually French). You also have some cases of true Euro-puddings here and there (Vicky Leandros, who won Eurovision in 1972 representing Luxembourg and singing in French is a Greece-born German).

In any case, Olivia Newton John is British (born in Cambridge, brought up in Australia, went back to the UK in the 60s when her music career took off).

[Admiral Yi]

I think technically, it's a song writer contest, so the performing artist's nationality is not the governing criterium.

Interesting.  I wonder why countries don't follow UK's lead and use more ringers.

Are there rules against using singers and musicians that have enjoyed commercial success?  Or is that just a convention?

[The Larch]

I think technically, it's a song writer contest, so the performing artist's nationality is not the governing criterium.

Interesting.  I wonder why countries don't follow UK's lead and use more ringers.

Are there rules against using singers and musicians that have enjoyed commercial success?  Or is that just a convention?

IIRC the only hard barrier is that the song must be original, you can't bring back an old hit and present it. In the past commercially successful artists did participate, it's only lately that it has become more of a thing for new artists (or maybe established ones don't want to feature on it enymore ).

What do you mean about the UK's lead and ringers?

[Admiral Yi]

So really it's a competition of national selection committees. 

[Sheilbh]

Imaani's Where Are You? is a banger

That video is fascinating though - and clearly that system is a monstrous idea

[Sheilbh]

So really it's a competition of national selection committees. 

Yes. And the UK's is uniquely incompetent

[celedhring]

I will rest happy knowing there's an alternate world where "Vivo Cantando" was given proper justice. My mother is pretty adamant Salomé was robbed.

[Admiral Yi]

What do you mean about the UK's lead and ringers?

I was talking about Celine and Olivia. 

Lead as in their precedent, not their advantage.

[The Larch]

I will rest happy knowing there's an alternate world where "Vivo Cantando" was given proper justice. My mother is pretty adamant Salomé was robbed.

Did you see the other Spanish winners? Mocedades, Betty Missiego and Azúcar Moreno. 

[Sheilbh]

Spaniards. Explain 1979 pls

[celedhring]

Spaniards. Explain 1979 pls

Betty Missiego is hard to explain, I'm not sure I can