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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Ed Anger on December 18, 2014, 07:28:08 PM

Title: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Ed Anger on December 18, 2014, 07:28:08 PM
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/ayn-rand-reviews-childrens-movies

A sampling:

Quote"Lady and the Tramp"

A ridiculous movie. What could a restaurant owner possibly have to gain by giving away a perfectly good meal to dogs, when he could sell it at a reasonable price to human beings? A dog cannot pay for spaghetti, and payment is the only honest way to express appreciation for value. —One star.

"Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory"

An excellent movie. The obviously unfit individuals are winnowed out through a series of entrepreneurial tests and, in the end, an enterprising young boy receives a factory. I believe more movies should be made about enterprising young boys who are given factories. —Three and a half stars. (Half a star off for the grandparents, who are sponging off the labor of Charlie and his mother. If Grandpa Joe can dance, Grandpa Joe can work.)

"Frozen"

An exceptional woman foolishly allows her mooching family members to keep her from ruling a kingdom of ice in perfect solitude. She is forced to use her unique powers to provide free entertainment for peasants, without compensation. I liked the snowman, when he sang. —One star.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: 11B4V on December 18, 2014, 07:35:08 PM
Quote"Old Yeller"

A farm animal ceases to be useful and is disposed of humanely. A valuable lesson for children. —Four stars.

:D
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Ed Anger on December 18, 2014, 07:35:53 PM
Seedy will enjoy the pro-cat focus in some reviews.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: 11B4V on December 18, 2014, 07:46:28 PM
QuoteIf Grandpa Joe can dance, Grandpa Joe can work.

:lol:

QuoteAlso, there are no trains in this movie. I did like the talking clock, who attempted to take pride in his work despite constant attacks on his dignity by the candlestick. The candlestick did not take his job seriously.

:P
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Norgy on December 18, 2014, 07:49:23 PM
Just  :lmfao:. This goes on Facebook.
Ed, I know I've said it before, but I love you.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Ed Anger on December 18, 2014, 07:49:55 PM
 :blush:
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: CountDeMoney on December 18, 2014, 08:53:41 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on December 18, 2014, 07:46:28 PM
QuoteIf Grandpa Joe can dance, Grandpa Joe can work.

:lol:


:lol:
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Ideologue on December 18, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
I can't dance. :(
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Siege on December 19, 2014, 12:16:24 AM
Didn't Ayn Rand die decades ago?
I'm pretty sure she couldn't have watched Frozen.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: DontSayBanana on December 19, 2014, 12:37:54 AM
Quote from: Siege on December 19, 2014, 12:16:24 AM
Didn't Ayn Rand die decades ago?
I'm pretty sure she couldn't have watched Frozen.

You spelled too many words correctly.  You clearly haven't had enough Miller Lite this evening.  One and a half stars.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Grinning_Colossus on December 19, 2014, 01:46:10 AM
Quote from: Siege on December 19, 2014, 12:16:24 AM
Didn't Ayn Rand die decades ago?
I'm pretty sure she couldn't have watched Frozen.


Ayn's contacts in Galt's Gulch naturally invented the Singularity long before we collectivists did, and she uploaded her brain to a machine that is now writing for The New Yorker.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Josquius on December 20, 2014, 04:25:01 AM
Frozen... Someday I must watch the whole thing. I guess if I mute the songs (half the freaking film) it won't be so bad..
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Norgy on December 20, 2014, 05:22:57 AM
Quote from: 11B4V on December 18, 2014, 07:46:28 PM
QuoteIf Grandpa Joe can dance, Grandpa Joe can work.

:lol:



Best line in the whole piece.  :lol:
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: jimmy olsen on December 20, 2014, 06:59:00 AM
Quote from: Tyr on December 20, 2014, 04:25:01 AM
Frozen... Someday I must watch the whole thing. I guess if I mute the songs (half the freaking film) it won't be so bad..
If you don't like the songs there's no point in watching it. The songs are what make or break a Disney film.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: The Brain on December 20, 2014, 07:06:21 AM
I can't wait for the new Star Wars movies.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Eddie Teach on December 20, 2014, 07:20:01 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on December 20, 2014, 06:59:00 AM
The songs are what make or break a Disney film.

That film being Fantasia. The rest would be fine(or at least, only as bad as they are now) without any songs.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Josquius on December 20, 2014, 08:26:01 AM
Songs ruin disney films. They're bits crudely inserted to open up the music revenue stream and stretch out the length of the film a bit more.
The best disney films are those which are light on music.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: celedhring on December 20, 2014, 08:40:04 AM
I'm not sure about that. Lion King or Aladdin would be less memorable without their signature songs. They are animated musicals. They aren't any more cynical money grabbing exercises than a regular musical is.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Eddie Teach on December 20, 2014, 09:51:35 AM
Aladdin could fill the gaps with more Williams and Gottfried.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: garbon on December 20, 2014, 10:19:54 AM
Quote from: celedhring on December 20, 2014, 08:40:04 AM
I'm not sure about that. Lion King or Aladdin would be less memorable without their signature songs. They are animated musicals. They aren't any more cynical money grabbing exercises than a regular musical is.

:yes:
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Admiral Yi on December 20, 2014, 11:01:18 AM
The songs in Jungle Book are great.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: garbon on December 20, 2014, 11:45:07 AM
Tale As Old As Time :wub:
Whistle While You Work :wub:
Kiss The Girl :wub:
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Razgovory on December 20, 2014, 04:14:42 PM
Quote from: celedhring on December 20, 2014, 08:40:04 AM
I'm not sure about that. Lion King or Aladdin would be less memorable without their signature songs. They are animated musicals. They aren't any more cynical money grabbing exercises than a regular musical is.

But they are American.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Norgy on December 20, 2014, 05:57:21 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on December 20, 2014, 04:14:42 PM
Quote from: celedhring on December 20, 2014, 08:40:04 AM
I'm not sure about that. Lion King or Aladdin would be less memorable without their signature songs. They are animated musicals. They aren't any more cynical money grabbing exercises than a regular musical is.

But they are American.

So are you, and I'm not sure it's really helped you.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Razgovory on December 20, 2014, 07:39:13 PM
Quote from: Norgy on December 20, 2014, 05:57:21 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on December 20, 2014, 04:14:42 PM
Quote from: celedhring on December 20, 2014, 08:40:04 AM
I'm not sure about that. Lion King or Aladdin would be less memorable without their signature songs. They are animated musicals. They aren't any more cynical money grabbing exercises than a regular musical is.

But they are American.

So are you, and I'm not sure it's really helped you.

Tyr displays contempt for Everything American.  I'm not sure he even realizes it.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Eddie Teach on December 20, 2014, 08:31:59 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on December 20, 2014, 11:01:18 AM
The songs in Jungle Book are great.

Agreed, but it would still be a good movie with just the story.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Josquius on December 21, 2014, 02:44:24 AM
QuoteTyr displays contempt for Everything American.  I'm not sure he even realizes it.
Pixies, firefly, Hendrix, Star Wars, Tarantino, die hard, etc...

Quote from: celedhring on December 20, 2014, 08:40:04 AM
I'm not sure about that. Lion King or Aladdin would be less memorable without their signature songs. They are animated musicals. They aren't any more cynical money grabbing exercises than a regular musical is.
The only one in lion king that really contributes is the growing up montage.
Aladdin... Prinnce Ali is a cool song and does demonstrate his wish and the party mood of being a prince entering the town quite well. A whole new world however goes on way too long and is an unnecessary lull in the story
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: The Brain on December 21, 2014, 03:03:04 AM
Quote from: Tyr on December 21, 2014, 02:44:24 AM
QuoteTyr displays contempt for Everything American.  I'm not sure he even realizes it.
Pixies, firefly, Hendrix, Star Wars, Tarantino, die hard, etc...

Monster.
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Admiral Yi on December 21, 2014, 03:10:23 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 20, 2014, 08:31:59 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on December 20, 2014, 11:01:18 AM
The songs in Jungle Book are great.

Agreed, but it would still be a good movie with just the story.

It would also be 30 minutes long. :P
Title: Re: Ayn Rand reviews Children's movies
Post by: Syt on December 21, 2014, 03:57:04 AM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on December 21, 2014, 03:10:23 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 20, 2014, 08:31:59 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on December 20, 2014, 11:01:18 AM
The songs in Jungle Book are great.

Agreed, but it would still be a good movie with just the story.

It would also be 30 minutes long. :P

That's the thing really with the Disney movies, isn't it? :P I don't mind the musical numbers if they fit the story and explore the characters' motivations and feelings, or the mood of the scene, or an important concept of the story.