Open mariages and paternity

[merithyn]

A friend recently gave me two bits of information:

1) Her newly married son and his wife are five weeks pregant; and
2) They are in an open marriage, which the wife made use of about five or six weeks ago with her husband's best friend. (Which, oddly, coincides with their wedding date.)

Setting aside the moral issues regarding open marriages, how will this work regarding paternity if sometime down the road this marriage falls apart (and really, why would it?)?

[The Brain]

What do you mean?

[Syt]

A friend?

[merithyn]

A friend?

Family member, actually, but that didn't seem important.

[The Brain]

I would never do that to a friend. Unless he travelled a lot.

[Razgovory]

A friend?

Family member, actually, but that didn't seem important.

Wait she had sex with a family member now?

[derspiess]

I guess it comes down to who, if either of the two guys, sign the birth certificate.  If the husband signs it, then he's probably on the hook.  If neither sign it, he's on the hook unless he gets a DNA test post haste. 

To each his own, but the arrangement sounds creepy to me (surprise, surprise).

[11B4V]

A friend recently gave me two bits of information:

1) Her newly married son and his wife are five weeks pregant; and
2) They are in an open marriage, which the wife made use of about five or six weeks ago with her husband's best friend. (Which, oddly, coincides with their wedding date.)

Setting aside the moral issues regarding open marriages, how will this work regarding paternity if sometime down the road this marriage falls apart (and really, why would it?)?

He should get a paternity test.

[MadImmortalMan]

He should get a paternity test.

They should just be done as a matter of course. There's no reason every couple can't leave the hospital every time knowing the paternity of their child. It's 2013 ffs.

[derspiess]

He should get a paternity test.

They should just be done as a matter of course. There's no reason every couple can't leave the hospital every time knowing the paternity of their child. It's 2013 ffs.

I was able to just look at my kids.  They look a lot like me.  Poor kids

Neither of them bear any resemblance to my wife at all, but Lola seems to be imitating her facial expressions-- and Latina temper.  A redhead with a Latina temper

[merithyn]

I don't think that anyone is going to ask for a paternity test, and I'm fairly certain that the husband will be listed on the birth certificate.

If later, they should split up and it gets ugly, if they find out that the child isn't his biological child, what happens?

[merithyn]

I was able to just look at my kids.  They look a lot like me.  Poor kids

Neither of them bear any resemblance to my wife at all, but Lola seems to be imitating her facial expressions-- and Latina temper.  A redhead with a Latina temper

I've read that that's an evolutionairy thing. Babies tend to look just like their fathers until around their fourth or fifth birthday, at which time they start to look more like their mom. That way, the father is less likely to walk away, leaving Mom and Baby to die.

[MadImmortalMan]

If he's on the birth certificate, he'll still get fucked over by the court for support. If there's any chance at all he's not the father he should not put his name on the certificate.

[derspiess]

I don't think that anyone is going to ask for a paternity test, and I'm fairly certain that the husband will be listed on the birth certificate.

If later, they should split up and it gets ugly, if they find out that the child isn't his biological child, what happens?

Depends on state law, but there's a very good chance that hubby will be stuck with paternity.  Even if later on he can get a DNA test that proves he is not the father.  Best thing he can do to protect himself would be to not list himself on the birth cert and get a prompt DNA test.

[Barrister]

Being listed on the birth certificate does not matter.

As a matter of law, if you're legally married you are presumed to be the father (or, if you have been living common law for one year).

In the particular scenario that Meri has, where the couple live together, start raising the child, then split, the husband will be in loco parentis (in place of the parent), even if he is not bio dad.  As such he will be forced to pay for child support.

If the husband wanted to avoid paying child support he would need to separate from his wife, and ultimately get a divorce.  Because if they stay together he will be treated as the father.


The state of the law on this point drove Drakken into a furious rage the last time it came up in Languish...