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Started by merithyn, November 20, 2012, 11:52:21 AM

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Sheilbh

I love the idea that Bill Gates can get laid because of his immense personal charisma and raw pheremones that just don't translate across camera.  Probably not though :(
Let's bomb Russia!

Legbiter

Quote from: Sheilbh on December 05, 2012, 08:22:57 PM
I love the idea that Bill Gates can get laid because of his immense personal charisma and raw pheremones that just don't translate across camera.  Probably not though :(

You never know though. Maybe he runs a tight ship with his wife after the lawyers laid down the exact Do's & Dont's of the marriage.
Posted using 100% recycled electrons.

merithyn

Quote from: Legbiter on December 05, 2012, 08:19:53 PM
Given the staggeringly high divorce rates for women with "modest" prior notches, a wise choice.

You realize that the study posted never explained why there was an increase in divorces for those women, right? We don't know if the women walked out on the men, the men on the women, if it was just decided it wasn't going to work, etc.

I find it amusing that you immediately jump on the "women who sleep around obviously cheat and get dumped by their husbands" wagon. I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

But then, with your view of things, I doubt you care.
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

garbon

Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Jacob

Quote from: garbon on December 06, 2012, 12:32:03 AM
Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?

Optimism?

Malthus

I never understood why divoce rate = bad, failure.

Some people change. Some people no longer get along. In the past, people stuck together nonetheless because divorce was difficult to get and social disapproval high. Why was that "good"?

It is obvious that someone with limited experience of prior relationships is more likely to stick around even if the relationship has gone to shit: that's all they know. Without a basis of comparison, leaving and starting again would be frightening, so they stick where another with more experience would go.

OTOH, some people just aren't into long-term: they are "in love with falling in love", they like that initial rush at the start of a relationship, and having lots of relationships may be a sign of that - male or female.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

garbon

Quote from: Jacob on December 06, 2012, 01:12:14 AM
Quote from: garbon on December 06, 2012, 12:32:03 AM
Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?

Optimism?

I could understand them having more cohabiting relationships and then you would think they would figure it out flaws before marrying.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

garbon

Quote from: Malthus on December 06, 2012, 09:17:59 AM
I never understood why divoce rate = bad, failure.

Some people change. Some people no longer get along. In the past, people stuck together nonetheless because divorce was difficult to get and social disapproval high. Why was that "good"?

It is obvious that someone with limited experience of prior relationships is more likely to stick around even if the relationship has gone to shit: that's all they know. Without a basis of comparison, leaving and starting again would be frightening, so they stick where another with more experience would go.

OTOH, some people just aren't into long-term: they are "in love with falling in love", they like that initial rush at the start of a relationship, and having lots of relationships may be a sign of that - male or female.



Because marriage is supposed to be the ultimate long-term thing?
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

Malthus

Quote from: garbon on December 06, 2012, 09:26:04 AM
Quote from: Malthus on December 06, 2012, 09:17:59 AM
I never understood why divoce rate = bad, failure.

Some people change. Some people no longer get along. In the past, people stuck together nonetheless because divorce was difficult to get and social disapproval high. Why was that "good"?

It is obvious that someone with limited experience of prior relationships is more likely to stick around even if the relationship has gone to shit: that's all they know. Without a basis of comparison, leaving and starting again would be frightening, so they stick where another with more experience would go.

OTOH, some people just aren't into long-term: they are "in love with falling in love", they like that initial rush at the start of a relationship, and having lots of relationships may be a sign of that - male or female.



Because marriage is supposed to be the ultimate long-term thing?

Long-term isn't the same as permanent. People should go into marriage thinking that yes, this is a long-term thing ... but if it doesn't work out, pecause people have changed in different ways, or have fallen out of love, or whatever, I see no value in permanence just for the sake of it. Particularly if it makes people miserable.

I say this, and I've been with the same woman for 25 years - but I've been lucky.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

merithyn

Quote from: garbon on December 06, 2012, 12:32:03 AM
Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?

People change? Sitatuations change? He cheated on her? She cheated on him? Kids came into the picture and that changed everything? Kids didn't come into the picture and that changed everything?

There are a ton of reasons for a couple to decide not to be married anymore. The idea that it's because a woman had more than 2 or 3 partners before the wedding doesn't chage those facts. What it may change, however, is how long she's willing to put up with a certain set of circumstances once they occur.
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

derspiess

Quote from: merithyn on December 05, 2012, 11:44:04 PM
I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

Disagree.  I don't see how women "without experience" are going to be more likely to put up with bullshit.  I know my ex-sister-in-law had an awfully low tolerance for that.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

garbon

Quote from: Malthus on December 06, 2012, 09:50:44 AM
Long-term isn't the same as permanent. People should go into marriage thinking that yes, this is a long-term thing ... but if it doesn't work out, pecause people have changed in different ways, or have fallen out of love, or whatever, I see no value in permanence just for the sake of it. Particularly if it makes people miserable.

I say this, and I've been with the same woman for 25 years - but I've been lucky.

I'm not saying that people should stick around if their marriage makes them miserable. But then again, I'm not a big fan of marriage / don't really understand the idea of making vows to a lifelong commitment that isn't lifelong.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

garbon

Quote from: derspiess on December 06, 2012, 10:24:26 AM
Quote from: merithyn on December 05, 2012, 11:44:04 PM
I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

Disagree.  I don't see how women "without experience" are going to be more likely to put up with bullshit.  I know my ex-sister-in-law had an awfully low tolerance for that.

Because they don't know how it could be better?
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

derspiess

Quote from: garbon on December 06, 2012, 10:32:04 AM
Quote from: derspiess on December 06, 2012, 10:24:26 AM
Quote from: merithyn on December 05, 2012, 11:44:04 PM
I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

Disagree.  I don't see how women "without experience" are going to be more likely to put up with bullshit.  I know my ex-sister-in-law had an awfully low tolerance for that.

Because they don't know how it could be better?

Nah, don't see it.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

merithyn

Quote from: garbon on December 06, 2012, 10:31:27 AM

I'm not saying that people should stick around if their marriage makes them miserable. But then again, I'm not a big fan of marriage / don't really understand the idea of making vows to a lifelong commitment that isn't lifelong.

Max and I had issues with that, as well. Instead of making a lifelong commitment, our vows said something like, "for as long as I am able." Basically, we recognize that changes happen and things can be different 5, 10, 15, even 20 years down the line. We weren't going to make a vow for something that we just didn't know could or would happen.
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...