Cal's Sausage Fest AAR

[frunk]

Schmidt's Sausage Haus.  End of story.  Fin.

Should be bolded and in thirty point font.  I miss going to Columbus strictly due to missing out on this place.

[Capetan Mihali]

PART I: CLEVELAND
On a barfometer scale of 1 to 10, Cleveland gets 9 barfs.  It's probably the crappiest city I've ever been to, but it's crappy in a very odd way. 

I've been to Cleveland twice and enjoyed it a lot.  Never went downtown or to the Rock Hall, though.  My gay Polish-American native friend played host.  Drove around and saw the locations of famous crimes including the source of the "The Fugitive." Then drank Molson Golden for $1.50 a bottle at a bar where a one-armed man threatened us when we made a half-assed attempt to go for an empty pool table.  Went to a very weird gay bar that was kind of exactly what you'd think a Cleveland gay bar would be like.  Ate great fresh kielbasi and pierogi and bigos in the old neighborhood.  Went to the art museum which was being renovated and quite impressive.  Walked through some of the huge Metroparks greenbelt with those exercise stations along the way, and climbed hundreds of stairs up some big hill teeming with schoolkids on a field trip.  Bought some crap at a hippie kitsch store in a pretty lively young neighborhood.  Oh, and spent a long time wandering around James Garfield's massive tomb complex, which was awesome.  Planned to go to this little island off the coast that is famous for its frozen Brandy Alexanders, but the weather was too bad.

All in all, very worthwhile.  But everything is going on outside downtown.  I recall Lakewood being a cool place.

[Brazen]

In the battle of Cal versus food, Cal always wins

[Caliga]

I can't believe you got a platter, and not the all-you-can-eat wurst buffet with alll those meats available.  Disappointing, young man.  Very disappointing.  :tsk:

I thought about the buffet, but knew I'd have to poop on the way home if I got that and (believe it or not) I don't like to shit at gas stations.

[Jaron]

I can't believe you got a platter, and not the all-you-can-eat wurst buffet with alll those meats available.  Disappointing, young man.  Very disappointing.  :tsk:

I thought about the buffet, but knew I'd have to poop on the way home if I got that and (believe it or not) I don't like to shit at gas stations.

Do you like to eat shit at gas stations? Get it!

[Caliga]

Yeah, actually that entire university neighborhood is nice, bordering their Little Italy and Shaker Heights.  Very bohemian and "collegey", sorta like a Georgetown with more coffee shops and less trust funds.  I'm pretty sure paying for something at Revolution Books with a debit card put me on a government list somewhere.

Yeah, we drove thru Little Italy too... I'd forgotten about that.  We also saw that Revolution Books store and my dad muttered something about "damn hippies" when we passed it.

[11B4V]

I can't believe you got a platter, and not the all-you-can-eat wurst buffet with alll those meats available.  Disappointing, young man.  Very disappointing.  :tsk:

I thought about the buffet, but knew I'd have to poop on the way home if I got that and (believe it or not) I don't like to shit at gas stations.

girl

[Caliga]

Do you like to eat shit at gas stations? Get it!

Define the word 'shit'.

[CountDeMoney]

We also saw that Revolution Books store and my dad muttered something about "damn hippies" when we passed it.

Down the street, about 1/2 block away, is a collector's toy store;  can't remember the name of it, but it's the kid of place where you can buy lunchboxes, or the Six Million Dollar Man and old Star Trek stuff still in their boxes.   
I almost walked out with a Guns of Navarone playset last time I was there. 

[PDH]

We also saw that Revolution Books store and my dad muttered something about "damn hippies" when we passed it.

Down the street, about 1/2 block away, is a collector's toy store;  can't remember the name of it, but it's the kid of place where you can buy lunchboxes, or the Six Million Dollar Man and old Star Trek stuff still in their boxes.   
I almost walked out with a Guns of Navarone playset last time I was there. 

The mountain with the two cannons and the elevator?  You missed out big time if that is the case.

[Scipio]

Cleveland is a fucking hole.  When I was at my cousin's wedding four years ago, we had a fucking trial finding a goddamn beaner bar to shoot some tequila at on the way to the reception.  Tragical.

[CountDeMoney]

I almost walked out with a Guns of Navarone playset last time I was there. 

The mountain with the two cannons and the elevator?  You missed out big time if that is the case.

Don't think I don't regret it, either.  Been giving my parents shit about not getting that from Santa since 1974.

[alfred russel]

Ok, so this weekend we went up to Cleveland and met my parents there, who drove over from Philadelphia.  My mom has for years obsessed over the idea of going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, so we finally gave in to her whining and agreed to go.

PART I: CLEVELAND
On a barfometer scale of 1 to 10, Cleveland gets 9 barfs.  It's probably the crappiest city I've ever been to, but it's crappy in a very odd way.  The downtown district looks pretty sparkling and new, but there's nobody there but aggressive panhandlers and tons of this newish-looking shit is actually boarded up.  After we got done at the Rock Hall Princesca and I decided to wander into the city to try to find a place to eat, and walked for over an hour and could not find one single fucking restaurant and in fact barely any signs of life at all.  The few people we saw were invariably of the chocolate persuasion and looked lean and hungry.  I had googled around looking for a place that sold the famous Polish Boy (don't get excited Mart, it's a sammich not a rentboy ) and found one about five blocks from the hotel.  We walked there only to discover it was boarded up.  Right in front of the abandoned storefront was a group of men loading trash bags into an ice cream truck, so we thought maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to investigate further.

We finally wandered into a gyro shop run by an old Turkish woman who seemed shocked to see any other living humans, and she agreed to make us gyros... which took a while since she hadn't even bothered to switch her oven on.  They actually turned out to be pretty good.  We asked her where we could get a Polish Boy and she said "Why you want eat this... they sell on truck and trucks dirty?  I make you more gyro you can take with!"  We politely declined and wandered through the post-apocalyptic wasteland to the hotel.

That night I found a Polish Boy place with rave reviews on google and convinced my dad to drive us there.  But we got there and discovered it was a fucking parking lot and realized based on the sandwich board there that, indeed, the 'best polish boy in Cleveland' was served from a lunch truck that likes to park in the lot of a furniture warehouse.   It was Saturday night so he wasn't there, of course.

So I go back to furious googling and discover that the place we went to earlier in the day that was boarded up actually had moved to a new location in the Cleveland suburb of Lyndhurst, so my annoyed dad agrees to try that, but makes me agree that we're getting Taco Bell if that doesn't work out.

Fortunately, it DID work out:

Lebron destroyed the city's desire to live.

[sbr]

We also saw that Revolution Books store and my dad muttered something about "damn hippies" when we passed it.

Down the street, about 1/2 block away, is a collector's toy store;  can't remember the name of it, but it's the kid of place where you can buy lunchboxes, or the Six Million Dollar Man and old Star Trek stuff still in their boxes.   
I almost walked out with a Guns of Navarone playset last time I was there. 

The mountain with the two cannons and the elevator?  You missed out big time if that is the case.

I had that.  The big gray one with all of the yellow parts and furniture?

[CountDeMoney]

We also saw that Revolution Books store and my dad muttered something about "damn hippies" when we passed it.

Down the street, about 1/2 block away, is a collector's toy store;  can't remember the name of it, but it's the kid of place where you can buy lunchboxes, or the Six Million Dollar Man and old Star Trek stuff still in their boxes.   
I almost walked out with a Guns of Navarone playset last time I was there. 

The mountain with the two cannons and the elevator?  You missed out big time if that is the case.

I had that.  The big gray one with all of the yellow parts and furniture?

STFU.