{AAR} Ed's short attention span theatre.

[Ed Anger]

I know you aren't supposed to have a bunch of kids, but my Caliph needs 16 year old pussy to bang.

Meanwhile, ALLAH ACKBAR! The Christian blight to the south has been annihilated. Next up, gobbling up the muslim state to the east of Mecca.

[The Brain]

That's the best jihad?

[Shade]

How else are they going to get to the virgins?

[Ed Anger]

That's the best jihad?

That horse slain bit got to you, didn't it?

[Ed Anger]

Having run out of Islamic assholes I could spell, I go a different direction:



MESSA BE EMIR OF SINAI?

Fatimid holdings, after Arabian conquests in 1079. Protip: Hire the Mameluke mercs do to the work. They ROCK.
Notice the Seljuk advances into Anatolia.

[Ed Anger]

Hubba, Hubba....

[Syt]

Mhm.

[Ed Anger]

Mhm.

After one wife poisoned the #1 wife and was executed for being a cunt, I picked hedonistic wives for the Caliph.

[katmai]

I can see Ed playing game while going "durka,durka, mohammed jihad!

[Ed Anger]

I can see Ed playing game while going "durka,durka, mohammed jihad!

[Ed Anger]

I like how there is a loyalty bonus for Mooselimbs when the Pope is crusading against you. As soon as the Crusade ends, every half-brother acts up.

*The host throws the Infidel into the sea*.

The new Caliph: Good work Hosni, Osama, Saddam,....

EVERY FUCKING FATIMID: HEY! HEY! THAT IS MY CROWN!

[Ed Anger]

2 dead Caliphs.

1 dead at the hands of Crusaders in glorious battle.
1 dead due to faulty balcony construction. Plummets to his death after fighting(and beating) nearly every vassal to secure his throne.

Fatimids executed: 6

[Ed Anger]

Fatimid sucession crisis, Pt 2. The Caliph dies of what?

The new young caliph dies of...depression. STUPID EMO FUCKHEAD.



According to the wise man Bender Al-Wahid, "You are boned". Everything goes to hell:



SWEET JESUS, STOP REBELLING. Every emir with 1 goat and a sword thinks he is Caliph.

Meanwhile, in France:



HOLY FUCKBALLS.

[grumbler]

I'm enjoying this one, Ed.  Keep up the good work.

[Ed Anger]

No real update until tomorrow. I have noticed my Fatimid game is falling into the same historical trap that the real fatimids had. Overreliance on Mamluk mercs. Without them and others, the fatimid dynasty falls. But the treasury is getting depleted.

I think it is time to start taking the heads of non-fatimid family vassals. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

3 dead Caliphs.

1 dead at the hands of Crusaders in glorious battle.
1 dead due to faulty balcony construction. Plummets to his death after fighting(and beating) nearly every vassal to secure his throne.
1 dead to advanced emo (Gray Fox Syndrome)

Fatimids executed: 9