Worst book you ever read?

[Razgovory]

I can't believe all you Tom Clancy suckers.  I learned to stop reading him back in the '80s, after Red Storm Stupid.

I think I've read exactly one Tom Clancy book.  My reaction was that he sure did know a lot about military hardware.  But so did Fred T. Jane, and no one considers him a great novelist.

I read exactly one Tom Clancy book, which by coincidence was Red Storm Submarine.  Clancy talked a lot about military hardware, I'm not sure if he actually knew what he was talking about.  I found much of the book implausible.  The Soviets reason for war was silly, as were their plans.  The war conveniently didn't have any nuclear warfare, lasts only a few weeks, and the Russians eventually decide to give in.  Bleh.

[Ideologue]

Polyamory?  Weeping gorilla?  An exploration of the fallen nature of man?  I must admit that I am intrigued.

I know I've told this story like 10 times, but this little group got together via a message board similar to Languish (no, I don't know the URL) and either the board was about Ishmael or it was some literary board and the novel constantly came up or some shit.

Anyway, some of the people in the group weren't so batshit, but a faction of it was so cuckoo that they became polyamorous and moved to a hippie commune up in Maine.

I've probably had the same reaction each time.  I am growing: predictable.

[Malthus]

Polyamory?  Weeping gorilla?  An exploration of the fallen nature of man?  I must admit that I am intrigued.

I know I've told this story like 10 times, but this little group got together via a message board similar to Languish (no, I don't know the URL) and either the board was about Ishmael or it was some literary board and the novel constantly came up or some shit.

Anyway, some of the people in the group weren't so batshit, but a faction of it was so cuckoo that they became polyamorous and moved to a hippie commune up in Maine.

I've probably had the same reaction each time.  I am growing: predictable.

What would be predictable, would be if we found this board and spamed it with fan-fic featuring polyamorous telepathic gorillas being violently repressed by evil lesbian Nazi racoons representing the horrors of civilization. 

Problem is, it would not be recognized as parody. In fact, Ishmael cannot be parodied. 

[Agelastus]

"Bear and the Dragon" is so bad because it basically has exactly the same plot as his preceding two novels - it's identikit writing and thus the last book of his that I have read. It's a long way from being the worst book I've read though...I'm sure I've blanked out worse from my childhood (I know I've read some pretty dire "Star Trek" books as a teen, for example.)

[MadImmortalMan]

Tom Clancy wrote a couple good books early on. Then he deteriorated.

[grumbler]

Tom Clancy wrote a couple good books early on. Then he deteriorated.

I think maybe he wrote one good book before "deteriorating" depending on how you look at Red Storm Rising.  RSR didn't have any actual characters, but wasn't supposed to - it was supposed to be pretty much pure action.  It works on that level, I think.

Everything after that was crap by any standards.

[Ed Anger]

RSR needed more Iceland rape scenes.

[Barrister]

I enjoyed Red Storm Rising for what it was.

[The Brain]

I enjoyed Red Storm Rising for what it was.

Was your copy soft and absorbant?

[Malthus]

I enjoyed Red Storm Rising for what it was.

Was your copy smooth and absorbant?

[AnchorClanker]

Le Père Goriot by Honoré de Balzac. I read 30 pages of it. I think I was only in sentence number 5.

[Caliga]

I liked blowing up Krivaks and Boris Chilikins in the Red Storm Rising game for the Commodore 64.

[Grey Fox]

Le Père Goriot by Honoré de Balzac. I read 30 pages of it. I think I was only in sentence number 5.

It sucks. Naturalism & Realism are stupid movement. They are the reality TV & Sun journalism of the 1800s.

[Josephus]

Le Père Goriot by Honoré de Balzac. I read 30 pages of it. I think I was only in sentence number 5.

It sucks. Naturalism & Realism are stupid movement. They are the reality TV & Sun journalism of the 1800s.

Oh yeah, that reminds me.

In American Lit we read a bunch of crap, but Thoreau's book was pretty turgid. The one about grass or something.  I don't remember.

[CountDeMoney]

but Thoreau's book was pretty turgid. The one about grass or something.  I don't remember.