Stupidest Airport Security Stories

[Camerus]

Customs officers are trained to spot people looking fishy, and there are some very obvious clues but also some more subtle ones. You simply transmitted some of them and while looking back at him the second time may have been it, it could just aswell have been something entirely unrelated.

Probably so.  But as I have no idea what those other clues I was transmitting might have been, I do at least know the eye contact thing *seemed* to set him off, and so I will avoid that little maneuver in the future. 

[Slargos]

Customs officers are trained to spot people looking fishy, and there are some very obvious clues but also some more subtle ones. You simply transmitted some of them and while looking back at him the second time may have been it, it could just aswell have been something entirely unrelated.

Probably so.  But as I have no idea what those other clues I was transmitting might have been, I do at least know the eye contact thing *seemed* to set him off, and so I will avoid that little maneuver in the future. 

... which will in turn risk making you look like you're intentionally avoiding eye contact because you know that you're guilty and that eye contact will give you up.

There's simply no way to win if you're the kind of person who's radiating the kind of signals they're looking for whether you're carrying or not. 

Or rather, the only way to win is to try to relax, and not to play. 

[dps]

My mental picture of Alfred Russell has been recalibrated.

From what to what?

I basically have pictured you as mostly wearing 3-pc pinstripe suits.  Or alternatively, a sweater and a bowtie.

[crazy canuck]

One of the silly things is that at smaller airports with flights to the US, security is required to give the passengers a more through examination (or at least that used to be the case).  So the guy in line ahead of me who was flying to Seattle got a good going over (shoes off, whisk thingie, examination of carry on etc.  I, going to Vancouver, just put my carry on through the machine walked through the x-ray scanner and that was it.

We then sat almost next to eachother in the smallish waiting area.


Does anyone else see potential flaws in this system?

[Malthus]

One of the silly things is that at smaller airports with flights to the US, security is required to give the passengers a more through examination (or at least that used to be the case).  So the guy in line ahead of me who was flying to Seattle got a good going over (shoes off, whisk thingie, examination of carry on etc.  I, going to Vancouver, just put my carry on through the machine walked through the x-ray scanner and that was it.

We then sat almost next to eachother in the smallish waiting area.


Does anyone else see potential flaws in this system?

The best was what I saw in Thailand - I know I've told this story before, but there, the customs guys searched your bags just like in a 1st world airport and then handed them back to you to carry to your plane, through the (unregulated) airport space. 

[Caliga]

Incidentally, don't you just love random checks? Yeah, strip search a respectable elderly Caucasian lady going to visit her grandchildren on a local flight, but do not as much as touch a bearded imam who bought a one way transatlantic flight ticket. 

My guess is that the random elderly Caucasian ladies are screened to give the illusion of non-discriminatory screening, but anyone who looks like a bearded imam will also be "randomly" screened.

[Zanza2]

The only place I've ever faced an in-depth search was in the HK airport, returning from Thailand.  I was walking by with my suitcase when I passed a customs officer.  The customs officer looked at me, looked away, I looked away, then we both looked back at each other.... and I guess that was enough to make him stop me.  Of course, he found nothing.

The moral:  never make eye contact with these people unless they are speaking to you.

When I came back from the US one time, the customs agents in Hamburg were all lined up at the exit, checking arriving passengers. I think I was the only person from London who had two really big bags. Obviously I was picked and they found that I had smuggled quite a bit more stuff than was allowed so by law I would have to pay customs duty and maybe even a fine. But I pretended to be dumb and not knowing the customs regulations and they let me off with a stern reminder to read the customs regulations next time.

[Barrister]

The only place I've ever faced an in-depth search was in the HK airport, returning from Thailand.  I was walking by with my suitcase when I passed a customs officer.  The customs officer looked at me, looked away, I looked away, then we both looked back at each other.... and I guess that was enough to make him stop me.  Of course, he found nothing.

The moral:  never make eye contact with these people unless they are speaking to you.

When I came back from the US one time, the customs agents in Hamburg were all lined up at the exit, checking arriving passengers. I think I was the only person from London who had two really big bags. Obviously I was picked and they found that I had smuggled quite a bit more stuff than was allowed so by law I would have to pay customs duty and maybe even a fine. But I pretended to be dumb and not knowing the customs regulations and they let me off with a stern reminder to read the customs regulations next time.

My impression of German law enforcement has been shattered.

[alfred russel]

I've never had to remove my shoes when going through security, the most recent example being flying into and out of Heathrow last November. I've noticed, however, that women are more likely to be asked to remove their shoes - that might have to do with security concerns or with fetishes of the security crew.

I had to remove shoes (as did everyone) at Heathrow in April, and a quick check of the internet tells one that Britain does this, Korea does this sometimes, Japan does it unless wearing specific types of shoes, etc.

I was flying from Heathrow to Warsaw in February and did not have to remove my shoes. I suspect they do not always bother to check people flying on European flights (it's a different terminal than transatlantic flights, iirc).

I've been through Heathrow without taking off my shoes. Incidentally I'd say about half the time I have to take off my shoes after setting off metal detectors or for a random search (I tend to get randomly searched a lot). But the only country I know of where you 100% have to take off your shoes every time is the US. I'm sure there are others out there.

[Slargos]

The only place I've ever faced an in-depth search was in the HK airport, returning from Thailand.  I was walking by with my suitcase when I passed a customs officer.  The customs officer looked at me, looked away, I looked away, then we both looked back at each other.... and I guess that was enough to make him stop me.  Of course, he found nothing.

The moral:  never make eye contact with these people unless they are speaking to you.

When I came back from the US one time, the customs agents in Hamburg were all lined up at the exit, checking arriving passengers. I think I was the only person from London who had two really big bags. Obviously I was picked and they found that I had smuggled quite a bit more stuff than was allowed so by law I would have to pay customs duty and maybe even a fine. But I pretended to be dumb and not knowing the customs regulations and they let me off with a stern reminder to read the customs regulations next time.

My impression of German law enforcement has been shattered.

German law enforcement,
it ain't what it used to be
ain't what it used to be
ain't what it used to be

[Caliga]

When I flew into Munich, Frankfurt, and London I had to go through pretty careful and thorough security.

When I flew into Rome the customs guys were like "ehhhhhhhhhhh!" and waved us through.

I have mixed feelings about Rome airport security though since they also let gypsies into Fiumicino.

Also, airport security in Mexico = joke.

[alfred russel]

One of the silly things is that at smaller airports with flights to the US, security is required to give the passengers a more through examination (or at least that used to be the case).  So the guy in line ahead of me who was flying to Seattle got a good going over (shoes off, whisk thingie, examination of carry on etc.  I, going to Vancouver, just put my carry on through the machine walked through the x-ray scanner and that was it.

We then sat almost next to eachother in the smallish waiting area.


Does anyone else see potential flaws in this system?

The best was what I saw in Thailand - I know I've told this story before, but there, the customs guys searched your bags just like in a 1st world airport and then handed them back to you to carry to your plane, through the (unregulated) airport space. 

I haven't seen that before (which is very stupid), but I've noticed that at a lot of less developed airports the alarms rarely seem to go off. Less passengers set off the metal detectors, and the carryon scanning doesn't catch anyone for further screening. I've had moments of panic when seeing a massive security line, one security screening station, only to find out that the line move extremely fast because you don't have to sort anything (shoes, laptop, etc) and they don't pull anyone out for extra screening.

[Zanza2]

The only place I've ever faced an in-depth search was in the HK airport, returning from Thailand.  I was walking by with my suitcase when I passed a customs officer.  The customs officer looked at me, looked away, I looked away, then we both looked back at each other.... and I guess that was enough to make him stop me.  Of course, he found nothing.

The moral:  never make eye contact with these people unless they are speaking to you.

When I came back from the US one time, the customs agents in Hamburg were all lined up at the exit, checking arriving passengers. I think I was the only person from London who had two really big bags. Obviously I was picked and they found that I had smuggled quite a bit more stuff than was allowed so by law I would have to pay customs duty and maybe even a fine. But I pretended to be dumb and not knowing the customs regulations and they let me off with a stern reminder to read the customs regulations next time.

My impression of German law enforcement has been shattered.

I just look too trustworthy. 

[Eddie Teach]

I wonder how much stuff you'd have to buy to make shopping in the US to escape German VAT/sales taxes cost-effective. 

[HisMajestyBOB]

Airport security in Hue, Vietnam was pretty good for a third rate third-world airport. Baggage scans, metal detectors, and I got the full pat-down.

Mongolia, IIRC, wasn't as impressive. Sure, they had baggage scanners and so on, but I think the metal detector wasn't working when I went through. Meh, what's a terrorist gonna do, crash a 737 into a yurt?