Stupidest Airport Security Stories

[CountDeMoney]

The worst I ever went through was watching the large dazzling urbanite TSA officer inspecting the rosary I always fly with, trying to figure out what it was.  YOU COULD CHOKE A NIGGA OUT WIFF DAT

[grumbler]

I had to leave a text marker like this at the security station once. Because it contained fluid. Seriously. That was a flight a week or so after those guys in London (or wherever it was) tried to build a bomb from fluids.

Oh, there is no question but what the bureaucracy has run amok when it comes to airline security.  The problem is that the consequences of failure are so high that flight security people can justify practically anything, no matter how absurd by any objective standard.

[The Larch]

I had to leave a text marker like this at the security station once. Because it contained fluid. Seriously. That was a flight a week or so after those guys in London (or wherever it was) tried to build a bomb from fluids.

I often say that the day when a terrorist tries to smuggle a dinamite bar up his ass in order to blow a plane will usher an era of universal proctological checks before boarding and the demise of airlines everywhere.

[The Larch]

The worst I ever went through was watching the large dazzling urbanite TSA officer inspecting the rosary I always fly with, trying to figure out what it was.  YOU COULD CHOKE A NIGGA OUT WIFF DAT

And what'd be the point of confiscating at the checkpoint anyway? There are shops where you could buy other potential weapons after it.

[grumbler]

I often say that the day when a terrorist tries to smuggle a dinamite bar up his ass in order to blow a plane will usher an era of universal proctological checks before boarding and the demise of airlines everywhere.

I don't often say anything about people with stuff up their ass.  I'd be a bit wary around someone who did often say things like that.

[Richard Hakluyt]

It occurs to me that breast implants would be a good way of smuggling fluids on to a plane 

[Zanza2]

I also like how the TSA at "Key West International Airport" (are there flights to any destinations other than Miami and Orlando?) searched my bag right in front of me and then put a flyer into it at the end. The flyer said something along the lines "We searched your bag". Yeah guys, I saw you searching it, no need to put a flyer into it telling me so.

[Caliga]

I also like how the TSA at "Key West International Airport" (are there flights to any destinations other than Miami and Orlando?) searched my bag right in front of me and then put a flyer into it at the end. The flyer said something along the lines "We searched your bag". Yeah guys, I saw you searching it, no need to put a flyer into it telling me so.

Maybe they thought you were blind.

[alfred russel]

I always wear flip-flops or sandals on planes anymore, mostly because they are so easy to remove.

It occured to me that this seems like a strange reason to make wardrobe decisions...After all, you have to take your shoes off every time you put them on. [sbr] I was willing to deal with the hassle of putting on and taking off sneakers at the end of the day, but 2 times is 1 time too many. I'm going with flip flops. [/sbr] 

[alfred russel]

Another somewhat trivial instance of stupid security was (against all odds) outside of the US (Mexico City). I had some problems that the check in guy was helping me with, and of course he checked my passport. When boarding started, the guy that checked me in had moved to the boarding area. To start boarding, he invited me by name to the front so I could be the first to board (which was fair because the airline screwed me over). As he had already checked my passport, I put it away in a bag. But when he started the boarding, he asked for my passport, with the explanation, "I know it may seem unnecessary, but it is for security."

Ultimately, I think he was just an asshole.

[Ed Anger]

I'd like to beat all flip flop wearers with a baseball bat. ALL OF THEM.

[Syt]

That is absurd. The rest of the world lets you keep your shoes on whatever you are wearing.

Fail truth much?

I've never had to remove my shoes when going through security, the most recent example being flying into and out of Heathrow last November. I've noticed, however, that women are more likely to be asked to remove their shoes - that might have to do with security concerns or with fetishes of the security crew.

[HisMajestyBOB]

That is absurd. The rest of the world lets you keep your shoes on whatever you are wearing.

Fail truth much?

I've never had to remove my shoes when going through security, the most recent example being flying into and out of Heathrow last November. I've noticed, however, that women are more likely to be asked to remove their shoes - that might have to do with security concerns or with fetishes of the security crew.

I didn't always have to remove my shoes when flying out of Incheon or around Asia. When I last left Korea I did, but when I flew to Vietnam from Korea I didn't.

[Syt]

For the record, grumbler is of course semantically correct when he disputes that "the rest of the world" (i.e. all countries except U.S.) doesn't make passengers take of shoes.

[Zanza2]

You only seem to have to remove your shoes when you have higher heels (e.g. in dress shoes for men or most shoes for women). And some airports will only use the metal detector on your shoes and you don't have to remove them. That said, I've not been in the US since 2008. I think I had to remove my shoes in Addis Ababa last year, but I can't remember removing them in Europe or Asia where I flew quite a bit in the last 2 years.