TV/Movies Megathread

[Admiral Yi]

 

[Josephus]

So.

Dexter.

Thank. God. That's. fucking. over.

[Ideologue]

The Emperor's New Groove (2000).  What a fun, silly trifle.  It's far and away not he best movie of the Disney Renaissance, but it's better than Pocahontas, Beauty and the Beast, and large stretches of The Lion King.  I enjoyed the unbelievable assholery of the main character (I think it's the only Disney movie where attempting to execute peasants or watching someone die are played for laughs), the aesthetic, and many of the silly jokes, even the one about Kronk talking to chipmunks.  Patrick Warburton forever.  B

Kronk's New Groove (2005).  OH PATRICK WARBURTON WHY?  D

[jimmy olsen]

The Emperor's New Groove (2000).  What a fun, silly trifle.  It's far and away not he best movie of the Disney Renaissance, but it's better than Pocahontas, Beauty and the Beast, and large stretches of The Lion King.  I enjoyed the unbelievable assholery of the main character (I think it's the only Disney movie where attempting to execute peasants or watching someone die are played for laughs), the aesthetic, and many of the silly jokes, even the one about Kronk talking to chipmunks.  Patrick Warburton forever.  B

What the hell? How can an opinion be so wrong!

[Ideologue]

Look, if you like slave girl fantasies , that's fine, but I'm not sure it's suitable for kids.

The Lion King is better overall, but it's never clear why Simba thought he was responsible for his father's death when 1)Scar told him to go there and 2)no one would blame a lion cub even if he hadn't.  Also I don't understand why Scar is Evil and Mufasa is Good.  They're both apex predators at the top of an exploitative hierarchy; one's just straight.  And blaming him for the economy seemed a little pat.

[jimmy olsen]

He's a kid. Duh, obviously he's going to blame himself.

If you're going to criticize the Lion King, criticize for being ludicrously inaccurate from a biological stand point. Lion brothers don't fight over women, they share 'em. And Simba would have been driven out of the pride eventually so that he could team up with another loner and attempt to take over another pride and kill its cubs so the mothers will go into heat.

Now that's a kid's movie!

None of this sister fucking nonsense we got in the Lion King! 

[Ideologue]

I like it.  Here's $30m.

[jimmy olsen]

I like it.  Here's $30m.

National Geographic's already made that movie.

[Razgovory]

Look, if you like slave girl fantasies , that's fine, but I'm not sure it's suitable for kids.

The Lion King is better overall, but it's never clear why Simba thought he was responsible for his father's death when 1)Scar told him to go there and 2)no one would blame a lion cub even if he hadn't.  Also I don't understand why Scar is Evil and Mufasa is Good.  They're both apex predators at the top of an exploitative hierarchy; one's just straight.  And blaming him for the economy seemed a little pat.

It's a right wing fantasy, it doesn't have to make sense.  Scar is evil because he's redistributing food to the untermensch (the Hyenas), which will inevitably cause widespread poverty and perpetual grey skies.

[The Brain]

The Chess Player (1927)

This is a French film set in Poland shortly after the partition (and made shortly after the re-creation of Poland.)  The film concerns Jan Protagoniski, a Polish Nobleman and Ivan Bestovitch Friendov a Russian noble in a Polish-Russian army unit.  Jan is the greatest chess player in all of Poland he's the only one able to figure out how the horses work.  Both Jan and Ivan love Sophie, the step daughter of Baron Kemplen.  Baron Kemplen is an inventor who makes all sorts of mechanical models of people.

The Poles are doing the things they love doing throwing Jews down the well, singing patriotic anthems, and dancing the polka.  Unfortunately the Russians do the things they love as well, shooting and raping Poles.  A brawl breaks out in the barracks this leads to a revolt, led by Jan; but the Polish soldiers are defeated because there are no tanks for their cavalry to charge.  The revolt is brutally put down and the Poles immediately start collaborating.    Jan survives, but is in great peril as Catherine the great has put a price on his head of two whole bags of beets.

Baron Kemplen comes up with an ingenious plan to smuggle Jan out of the country; he dresses him up as a chess playing automaton.  The "Automaton" defeats all Polish challengers at chess to the surprise of no one; as there are chickens who managed that feat.  Catherine the Great invites the automaton to St. Petersburg where hilarity ensues.

The film is a little over-long and over-complicated, but the battle scenes are spectacular.  As with any film that involves Poland, half a dozen Polack jokes immediately spring to mind, if one favors that sort of puerile humor.  I, for one, do not.

[Ideologue]

I like it.  Here's $30m.

National Geographic's already made that movie.

Was it beautifully animated?

[jimmy olsen]

I like it.  Here's $30m.

National Geographic's already made that movie.

Was it beautifully animated?

Live Action baby!

[Josquius]

Seven Psychopaths- What an odd film. Very meta. Somewhat Tarantinoesque. Enjoyable.

[11B4V]

Argo: B+

World War Z: B entertaining. Felt like it need to be longer. Felt like a two hour trailer for a four hour movie.

[Scipio]

Cruising through Season 1 of The Wire.