Which of the following fruit and nut trees should I plant?

[Tonitrus]

I do use an air rifle. It's a 1200 foot per second pellet gun. Works fine for the stuff that's usually invading my yard--quail.

I'd get arrested if i shot at what invades my yard.

Why do you hate moose and Athabascans? 

[katmai]

Because one is drunk and the other keeps eating all the vegetation.

[Caliga]

I have given it some careful consideration ofer the last wo and a half years, as I wanted to be sure to give Cal the best possible advice.

I have now voted: Apple, Peach and Pear

Got two out of three now.

Not sure I'd plant another fruit, but if I do it'd probably be a pear, yeah.  That's aside from the pawpaw patch I'm definitely going to plant once I have the shitload of time it'll take (since I'll need to do it back in my woods and clear a bunch of brush out first to make room).

[KRonn]

I'm now getting lots of cherry tomatoes out of my garden, soon will be getting large tomatoes. I've gotten lettuce also. I got a lot of corn, but this is the first year I've had groundhogs raiding the garden. Man, those furry little terrorists do huge crop damage! They've gotten as much corn as I have. Now they're fat little suckers too!!! 

Over the last week I've been picking the corn early, before it's fully ripe, but still good eating, just not fully filled out. A real bummer though.  I blanched and froze a couple dozen ears of corn, and have also been eating corn almost daily for the last two weeks.

I have over one hundred corn plants, many with two ears of corn, and so much of it ruined. I called an exterminator who placed traps. So far we've caught a possum and a squirrel. Not bad but the real monsters are the groundhogs, aka woodchucks.  He lives under my neighor's shed. I saw him the other day a couple of times, his head out from under the shed eyeing the smorgasbord of my garden. My neighbor and I put a trap near the shed. That furry little cretin walked halfway into the trap but stopped. Damn!   
   
When we catch the critters, I'm going to mount their heads on pikes around my garden! That's sure to put the fear into any others!   

I'm researching on how best to do a fence. These little terrorists can tunnel under, and climb over a fence, if it's not done right. They can probably also parachute in too, or drive their little AFVs over my wire. So I'm going to have to plan my fence accordingly!

I feel like Bill Murray in Caddyshack. I don't remember if he won or lost against the rodent horde.   

[Ed Anger]

My wife's garden is dead. Between the numnuts who didn't water it while we were away and what looked like rampant animal attacks destroyed it.

The animals will pay. Severely.

[KRonn]

Yep Ed, so sad, after all the work. I'm still hoping to get some beans too, so that will help assuage my garden veggie hunger. Have some of those veggies with some roast woodchuck.   

[The Brain]

My wife's garden is dead. Between the numnuts who didn't water it while we were away

Can you sue Mexico?

[KRonn]

I caught an oppossum last night; it was in the trap this morning. So far two possums and one squirrel. But no woodchuck monsters.   

[Ed Anger]

My wife's garden is dead. Between the numnuts who didn't water it while we were away

Can you sue Mexico?

And have the housekeeper steal all my DVD's and Lemon Pledge?

[Caliga]

Harvested my apples today.

Ok... my apple.   Goddamn hail knocking all the apple buds off my granny smith except for one.

[mongers]

Harvested my apples today.

Ok... my apple.   Goddamn hail knocking all the apple buds off my granny smith except for one.

We've had a disastrous apple crop in Blighty this year; the cider will be thin on the ground and expensive. 

[Scipio]

Interestingly, the Russian version of Frere Jacques's lyrics are "Artichokes and almonds do not grow in Europe; what a tragedy."  Except artichokes and almonds do grow in Europe.  WTF?  Stupid Russo-French folk song parodies.

[Caliga]

I recently learned that it's possible to grow pomegranates here (though the climate is far from ideal).

[Ed Anger]

Sacrifice the remaining apple to the Apple god.

[Caliga]

Sacrifice the remaining apple to the Apple god.

I don't think Steve Jobs appreciates those kinds of sacrifices.