Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe

[Cerr]

Was the Baroness HOTT?

Yeah but Scarlett was HOTTER.

[Cerr]

You mean casting that gay kid from Third Rock from the Sun as COBRA COMMANDER didn't work out too well!?

I thought he did quite well.
SPOILERS:






He only becomes COBRA COMMANDER at the very end. For most of the movie he's a disfigured, partially masked scientist helping Eccleston (the main villain). There are also some flashbacks to before he became disfigured.
END SPOILERS

[Caliga]

Yeah but Scarlett was HOTTER.

Which one had bigger tits?

[Cerr]

Yeah but Scarlett was HOTTER.

Which one had bigger tits?

Scarlett.

[Caliga]

YO JOE!

[Drakken]

I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter. 

[Caliga]

I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter. 

He was busy befriending the Iron Sheikh.

[Neil]

I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter. 

He was busy befriending the Iron Sheikh.

Classical Iron Sheikh waved an Iranian flag, didn't he?  Not our friends, no matter what Spellus thinks.

[Syt]

I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter. 

I had a G.I. Joe Sgt. Slaughter Action Figure and tank.

[Josquius]

What are you talking about?  The inclusion of Marlon Wayans in Dungeons & Dragons really made the movie. 

Wow, someone else who knows of the Dungeons and Dragons film. Thought I was the only one.
It just sneaked into the cinema one day and I intended up going to see it.

[Caliga]

When I saw it, there was a kid who was ~8 years old sitting near us who was actually heckling the movie.

If your movie is unable to impress an eight-year old boy, you know it blows chunks.

[Vince]

I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter. 

He was busy befriending the Iron Sheikh.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan would have clubbed the Sheikh with his 2x4.   

[Darth Wagtaros]

I saw dungeons and dragons with a severe upper respiratory infection.  I still don't know if I spent it miserable because of that or because of the plot, acting, dialogue, and special effects.

[Sophie Scholl]

I will probably still see this, even though it's bound to make the original GI Joe: The Movie look like gold in comparison.  Damn you life!

[Ed Anger]

Was the Baroness HOTT?

The only question that matters.