Valmy in SPAAAAAAAAACE (Mass Effect Series AAR)

[viper37]

Oh they don't count. They are supposed to be a terrorist organization.

they are multi-tasking  

Still not clear how the Rachni make more Rachni without a Queen but hey whatever.

Likes bees and ants?  Some species have workers able to mate with males and produce a queen offspring.

[Valmy]

Likes bees and ants?  Some species have workers able to mate with males and produce a queen offspring.

Oh dear I have doomed the galaxy.

Ah well. It was already doomed anyway.

[viper37]

Likes bees and ants?  Some species have workers able to mate with males and produce a queen offspring.

Oh dear I have doomed the galaxy.

Ah well. It was already doomed anyway.

yeah. Geth, Reapers, Cerberus, now Rachni.  I don't think anyone will notice

[Malicious Intent]

Thanks for the update Valmy. Looking forward to Virmire, which was probably my second favorite of the 3 "middle plot worlds". Feros was nice, but Virmire and Noveria both had more weight to it, due to the choices you have to make.

And wow, was the charm skill ever the Jedi mind trick in ME1.

By the way, do you have all the DLC for ME2+3?

[Valmy]

Mass Effect Part Nine or Ash to Ashes Dust to Dust

Ok enough of this Saren and Reaper business. Let's get down on those planets and get some minerals and drive over some mountains!



'I think Bioware was especially excited to leave this especially mountainous planet for last!'

Every single planet in the galaxy is just a planet sized version of the Alps.

This planet had a colony that Cerberus did some dastardly deeds to with tech they bought from ExoGeni. So yeah, you know space zombies will be involved.



'Man I bet you guys sure are happy you became ExoGeni colonists!'

You know for an organization devoted to human supremacy Cerberus sure loves annihilating human colonies.

So that was the planet Chasca in the Matrano System in the Maroon Sea Cluster.

But don't worry because when ExoGeni is not selling dangerous zombie-making technology to terrorist organizations to destroy colonies they are creating armies of other sorts of space zombies. So down Shepard and company go to the planet Nodacrux in the Vostok System to see all the exciting products ExoGeni is bringing to the market this quarter.

But first we have an exciting event for the history books.



'WE HAVE WON MASS EFFECT!'

That is right! We mined all the Minerals: 33 Light Minerals, 32 Heavy Minerals, 35 Rare Minerals, and 10 Gases. I am looking forward to the glorious ending cinematic...oh I guess I have to finish that Saren sidequest first.



'ZOMBIES IN SPAAAAAAACE'

So they eventually break into a room in the depths of the often re-used subterranean base map and find ExoGeni researches hunkering down. They try to pull the same thing Dr. Saleon tried to pull earlier. 'Oh wow where did these space zombies come from? Certainly not from my research. Thanks for saving me!'

Shepard lets them know that he is on to them and he knows all about the Thorian and ExoGeni's dastardly deeds.



'You know I am no expert on space economics but with all these attack drones, Vis, and robots I just don't understand the big business incentive to invest in space zombie labor.'

Shepard wants to arrest them but they decide the guys who just destroyed all the space zombies should be easy to fight. After about four seconds Shepard wins.

The last uncharted star system to explore is the Caspian System. They discover a derelict ship just floating there in space and after boarding it you will never guess what they found: MORE SPACE ZOMBIES. I guess after Feros Bioware just decided you really want to fight more space zombies.

So after fighting through more space zombies they discover this ship picked up some kind of Geth artifact that turned them all into husks and then compelled them to fly directly into Geth space...and they got this far before the Husks overwhelmed the crew, leaving them floating in the Caspian System. So that is that for the uncharted systems. I know you guys really enjoyed hearing about it all.



'Hey! Check out the glass bottom space ship!'

Ok now I run into a weird problem. I have too many credits. I went through all the gear I had collected and then went to Shepard's retirement home and spent all his money on new gear and then sold what I didn't need and...I was back up to max credits again.



Yeah so now I get neither credits nor experience for anything AND I mostly have level 60 gear for everybody so I do not even get new gear to use. It kind of reduces the fun in a RPG.

So now, with absolutely nothing else to do, I guess it is time to go check on that Salarian STG. So Salarians are isolated on Virmire by powerful Geth forces with powerful AA towers so Shepard has to land in the Mako to take them out.

Oh hell I totally forgot this long Mako section at the beginning of this level.

So they fight through this long chasm filled with Geth, eventually finding these gate houses that eventually need to be opened and also contain the AA towers.



'Wow thanks Alenko, I am so glad I have you around to tell me these things.'

I kind of like this long range fighting since I can use my sniper rifle but damn I almost felt sorry for the Geth. We have such great gear at this point they can barely get through Shepard's shields and he can just one shot kill them for the most part. It is getting pretty unbalanced.



'Great so you will pick us up and...oh...we have to continue on foot eh? Bastard.'

So eventually they make it through this tropical paradise to the poor beleaguered Salarians. Considering what they were up against it is ridiculous they are still alive.

When they get to the camp the Geth have focused all their AA guns at us, grounding the Normandy. I mean we have that fancy cloaking device but I guess these AA guns use visuals. The Salarian plan is for us to join them until the fleet the Council is sending as reinforcements arrive.



'We are keeping government lean. Hey why did Ashley change back into her Eden Prime armor?'

So now they will have to infiltrate this base of Saren and destroy his Krogan breeding program that has found a way around the Genophage.

Wait what?



'Yeah but what about our problems Wrex?'

I have to say I am a little confused about the "cure for the Genophage" in this game. I mean it is not like Saren has a whole bunch of Krogan ladies in there hatching thousands of Krogan Eggs and raising little Krogan babies until they finally reach maturity however long that takes. He just has a bunch of vats spewing out full grown male Krogan battle thralls. So it seems more like a cloning program. Oddly the game never addresses this.

Anyway so Wrex is all pissed and thinking he should join with Saren since he is going to save his species. I guess he forgot about Saren's whole 'wipe out all organic life' part of his platform. Though I guess despite Wrex's earlier claims to the contrary he still is just really committed to the Krogan.



'I mean I know we have been mining minerals and solving little colonial problems for like 80% of our time together but let's try to remember the main plot, shall we?'

So with Wrex onside Shepard and the Salarian leader, Captain Kirrahe, plan the attack on Saren's base. The Salarians will split into three teams and assault the base and knock out the AA towers while Shepard and two others will slip in the back and secure the site for the bomb.

Wait...what bomb?



'Ah. How comforting every ship can turn its drive into a nuke.'

So naturally Ashley suggests they just drop the damn thing on the base and call it a day. But Kirrahe says the base is too fortified for that, they have to place the bomb on foot. Damn that must be some really strong fortifications.

Kirrahe wants one of Shepards people to assist him. I mean I would just assume all of our people participate in this attack but it looks like two will go with Shepard, one will go with Kirrahe, and the other three will just hang on the ship with the rest of Shepards marines. Huh.

Kaidan and Ashley then bicker over who gets to volunteer for a suicide mission.



'Oh Ashley you have such a way with words.'

But it will be Kaidan, being an officer and everything. Garrus and Tali will be coming with Shepard.

Kirrahe gives an inspiring speech to his troops.



'This is the pose Kirrahe will have when we build the commemorative statue on Virmire.'

Have fun storming the castle Salarians!

So part of this mission will be knocking out key Geth infrastructure to help Kirrahe and Alenko while pushing into the base. Once again with everybody being max level with top level gear it is kind of a slaughter, especially having three tech experts going up against the synthetic Geth. It is not even really necessary to take cover anymore and Saren's Krogans never get close on their charges.

So they take out their communications, satellite uplink and their flying drones. Eventually they clear everybody off the outside of the base and then enter underneath through the sewers.



'So much Krogan poop.'

Then they find the last thing they need to do to help Kirrahe and Alenko's teams.



'Are alarms really a factor several minutes into a full scale assault?'

Setting off the alarms on the farside of the base would make your trip a little easier at the expense of Kirrahe and company but it is not like we are having trouble. So they turn off the alarms.

So they break into Saren's first lab and instead of it being full of Krogan breeding it is a lab to use the indoctrination on captured Salarians. They all attack as soon as they see Shepard.



'Ah some of our fine Salarian comrades...wait...ah the game labeled them indoctrinated for me. Thanks that cleared that up.'

They find Salarians in various degrees of brainwashing in some prison cells and, knowing they are about to nuke the facility, Shepard lets them all out. Some of them even don't attack them.



'Yeah....some rescue eh?'

They then attack the warehouse, where you normally would enter if you don't enter through the Krogan crao, from behind. It was kind of a kick blasting that small army that was waiting for you from behind

Upstairs they find the Krogan lab which is filled with husk space zombies for some reason.

The scientist in charge is a Krogan!



'Ok next time Wrex asks me the last time I saw a Krogan scientist I can mention this.'

They then break into Saren's personal lab at the heart of the base. An Asari Scientist they find there, Rana Thanoptis since it is entirely possible we might meet her again, whimpers that she was just following orders. She explains that the research was about Sovereign's indoctrination powers, not Sarens, and Saren was conducting the research because he is afraid Sovereign is controlling him. The more Sovereign asserts control the less capable the subject becomes so eventually they are just a useless husk. Rana also opens the door to Sarens personal area. Shepard lets her go but tells her they are about to nuke the facility.



'Well that was strangely satisfying.'

In Saren's lab they find the thing that Liara said they needed: another Prothean Beacon!



'Huh? Dude you have never even been to Eden Prime.'

Anyway so Shepard uses the beacon and hopefully gets the full version this time so now Liara should be able to find out where the Conduit is next time they mind meld. And this time Shepard manages to not destroy the beacon. I guess the Cipher helped there.
Closeby they find the little terminal Saren uses to talk to his ship.



'It is literally a literal Reaper. Literally. Which is how that line would be written if this game was made in 2017.'

Sovereign then goes on to tell them that he is eternal and beyond their comprehension and their doom is assured and so forth. For everything being BEYOND COMPREHENSION and INEVITABLE he sure is working hard to get to this conduit thing. But he is right that the things he says are beyond my comprehension.



'YOUR DOOOOOOOM...will bring order to organic evolution somehow.'

I remember when I first saw this scene thinking that Bioware made a mistake by trying to make the Reapers this...um....awe inspiring because it would be very hard for them to properly pay off this set up at the end. I don't know how ME3 ends but my impression is my concerns were accurate.

The Reapers also built the Citadel and the Mass Relays and all of that in order for organic life to behave exactly as they want it to. However that might be.

Shepard is a little unjustifiably optimistic about the state of the galaxy's readiness to face its doom.



'Oh yeah Shep, everybody is just lining up behind you.'

Not sure what is the source of Shepard's wishful thinking there.

With that Sovereign decides it is time to act and takes off towards the facility. Supposedly he is going to be there soon but nothing seems to come from this. They knock out an AA tower and around this time Kirrahe and his teams start to reach the other AA towers and know them out. Shepard runs through breeding vats in these trench things full of Krogan.



'Seriously how does this trench make Krogans?'

So at the end they come to a large open room at the heart of the breeding facility and take out the Geth rocket troops. This allows the Normandy to land and deploy the weapon.



'Ah so there is my marine detachment! You know we could have used you guys!'

But after the bomb is set they all just run back in the ship. Stupid useless jarheads.

At this point Kaidan radios that his team is pinned down at the last AA tower. Geth are pouring into this part of the base now that they have kind of figured out what is going on. Figuring they probably don't want to have a functioning AA tower shooting down the Normandy they head off towards the AA tower.  Liara and Wrex switch out with Garrus and Tali.

When they are almost there they see a Geth ship arriving at Ashley's position and Geth are dropping out. Knowing she is outnumbered Ashley activates the bomb early. This puts Shepard in a difficult position but at the end they still need to knock out that AA tower.



'Farewell brave Ashley.'

There will be time to pour one out for our heroic Chief in a bit. First they take off to the AA tower and take out all the Geth there. Then Saren shows up and we start the final....conversation. He seems to think that so long as he does whatever Sovereign wants he can save the lives of many organic beings to exist as servants to the Reapers instead of being exterminated.



'Useful to do what exactly?'

Though, as we will eventually find out, Saren is not completely wrong here. But living as a Reaper slave is really just being an animal, as his own research shows.

Saren reveals that the Geth think Sovereign is some kind of god even though Sovereign has little but contempt for them. Huh, I guess his contempt for organic life also mysteriously extends to his own. I mean once the Reapers are done the Geth will be the dominant power in the galaxy so I can understand why they might be excited about this 'extermination of all organic life' thing.

Saren does not seem to understand he is already under Sovereign's power. But Shepard has his own super indoctrinating power known as the charm skill.



'This is not the hope you are looking for. Join me and we shall rule the galaxy as Turian and human couple.'

But for the first time ever it does not work. Woah. But Saren's resolve seems a bit weakened.



'Ok...wait...let me use my charm skill on you one more time.'

Then Shepard punches Saren and he jumps on his little flying saucer thing and flies off. The Normandy comes and everybody jumps on board and off we go!



'Ashley is bravely holding off the Geth as the seconds count down to her doom. How noble. How inspiring. How bizarre that the game has her wearing her Eden Prime armor and using a pistol instead of her Colossus X Heavy Battle Armor and her Master Spectre Assault Rifle.'

Weird. Though I notice the game did that to Kaidan as well, putting him in plain black armor and not his own Colossus Armor. But Ashley is so badass maybe they just wanted to give the Geth a chance.



'Somewhere The Brain is smiling.'

So that is that for Virmire. It is kind of weird to think that if the Citadel had sent a fleet or they had nuked the facility from orbit that they never would have found the intact beacon and thus would never have been able to find the Conduit. Things happen for a reason, in video games anyway.

About Virmire the first time you play this game this area will completely blow you away. There is tons of dramatic tension and big reveals and the first big meeting with Saren (and what you do in that confrontation will impact the ending of the game). On repeated playthroughs its contrivances slowly reveal themselves (especially if you try to make different choices and discover they all pretty much go to the same place, except with maybe more dead people) but it remains really strong. I prefer levels with slower building of tension then this EVERYTHING IS INTENSE IMMEDIATELY AND CONSTANTLY situation on Virmire but I consider it part of the endgame and in that context it works. And, of course, I find the long drive down a straight corridor in the Mako pretty tiresome but that is true for the other areas as well.

Every single group meeting in the game so far has only had Liara and Ashley talking. With Ashley gone Kaidan speaks up and mourns her death and blames himself for it. Well he is not wrong I guess, if his squad had taken out the AA tower it would not have been necessary to go save them. But Shepard tells them all the only one to blame is Saren.

Then Liara takes over and they mind meld yet again. This time the vision is complete, though I am not sure what was missing last time.



'Man even places humans have never heard of before have Greek names.'

Maybe the Ancient Greeks were actually Protheans in disguise?



'Holy shit! Somebody other than the humans or Liara has something to say! Well Tali that is what stealth systems are for.'

Liara points out the Geth fleet will be defending Ilos so they will need a fleet from the Citadel. This all sounds like something that should be discussed much further but Liara gets her traditional fainty spells from the mind melding and Shepard calls the session. Then he calls the Council. Surely they will want to talk about the Conduit and Sovereign and...well no all they want to talk about is the Krogan situation.



'Yes yes blah blah main plot BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SIDE MISSION!'

Finally Shepard gets them to talk about Saren but they are sure that Saren is just making up this whole Reaper business because...um...to distract Shepard from...something.



'Well I do have multiple eye witness accounts supporting my version of things.'

Could I call Shiala from Feros? Liara, Tali, and Garrus? Ah well, not that eye witness testimony ever swayed the council much. Heck even a recording of Saren talking about the Conduit and the Reapers was insufficient evidence he is after the Conduit. Well nobody can ever accuse the Council of moving on flimsy data. Or maybe we can? More on that later.

So people have a few things to say about the last mission.

Wrex is still grumpy about giving up whatever exactly they were doing on Virmire that counted as a cure for the Genophage. I am still not really clear on that.



'I will tell you what; let's keep the galaxy from being entirely wiped out. Will that work?'

Ashley's sacrifice has restored honor to the disgraced Williams name, and not just among humans.



We will all honor her memory captain.

Kaidan has recovered his normal thoughtful stoicism in reaction to Ashley's death. He explains his self-pity response right after the event and asks for advice.



'Well to be fair most of your marines just sit on the ship and do nothing most of the time.'

I guess when Jenkins got killed Shepard was in command of the Marines. Shepard tells him to use the failure of every casualty to drive himself to be better and Kaidan promises to take it to heart. Besides that Kaidan says he is not sure what to think about being in conflict with ancient immortal giant death machines. Well neither does anybody else my friend.

Liara feels pity for Saren.



'I know. My charm skill did not even work on him!'

Crazy.

Joker is unusually serious about the whole thing.



'Damnit Joker I came here for a sarcastic joke! You are seriously bumming me out here.'

Ok so let's talk about my choice on Ashley/Kaidan. Ok first I am pretty fond of both characters. I like how intense Ashley gets and I really love how much fun her voice actress seems to have while playing her. I like Kaidan simply because I always have a soft spot for the measured and thoughtful adult characters. Even the evil ones like Solas and Vivienne. So it is not like I am killing one because I especially favor one over the other. But I killed Kaidan the first time I played this and afterwards I reflected a bit on if that really served the story well. There is really no story reason for Kaidan to die there. But Ashley keeps putting herself in these situations because she wants to prove herself and die gloriously. In fact she almost resents you for saving her if you do so. She wants to end the injustice against her family and prove herself. I just think it is more poignant if she is the big hero and martyr for the galaxy against Saren and gets all the statues built and posthumous awards and all that. I feel like Kaidan's story, as the L2 biotic who rose above it all, still has somewhere else to go.

I could be wrong about that, I don't know how the Kaidan/Ashley story ends in Mass Effect 3 but we will see. So anyway that is my thinking and why I made that choice.

This does however end Shepard's romance so no hot sex for him in this game, though that does save him the potentially difficult situation with fraternization regulations.

But fortunately very good news is on the way!



'Ah yeah! Finally everything is working out for me!'

The cavalry is coming! Everything is going to go great now right?

Next time: Everything goes to shit.

[Valmy]

Thanks for the update Valmy. Looking forward to Virmire, which was probably my second favorite of the 3 "middle plot worlds". Feros was nice, but Virmire and Noveria both had more weight to it, due to the choices you have to make.

And wow, was the charm skill ever the Jedi mind trick in ME1.

By the way, do you have all the DLC for ME2+3?

I agree with your assessment. Virmire and Noveria were both the best. And yes they had a speech skill in DA:O and it was important but it was not quite the magical mind control Charm Skill is in ME1.

Yes I have all the DLC for ME2 but, while I recently bought ME3, I don't have the DLC yet.

[Valmy]

Mass Effect Part Ten or Sarenity Now!

So they eagerly go back to the Citadel ready to lead a mighty coalition fleet to defeat Sovereign and the Geth!



'You know...it's weird because I did not get that impression at all from my last conversation with them.'

Their big take away was that Saren was going to attack the Citadel. Huh...did I say that at any time? Pretty sure we have plenty of evidence of evidence about a Crucible but not the Citadel. But their big plan is to spread their fleet out at different mass relays between Terminus Space and Citadel Space. Well that might be fine for some big fleet attack but what about that other thing?



'Man if only we had a ship that could travel around stealthily.'

Now I am no military strategist, but then neither are all these politicians, but mobilizing the fleet to defend the Citadel while sending a small force to Ilos seems like a good idea.
Shepard is no fool so he suggests this very thing.



'Now I may just be a simple country Starship Commander...'

But they give him shit for detonating the nuke on Virmire and Shepard is too much of a loose cannon to send onto some planet nobody has been to in thousands of years. I mean the vast political implications of doing something someplace hundreds of light years from the nearest inhabited system are hard to fathom.

And of course they continue to discount all the actual evidence to insist that the Conduit is not his actual goal. And they claim nobody else has seen the Reapers besides Shepared besides all the other numerous people who could testify to this. I won't say it is all a bit contrived and non-sensical but...



'What? Oh come on!'

Of course just the last conversation we had with the Council they said this:



And actually I think that gives legal cover to everything that happens next.

So Shepard is all bummed sitting there on the Normandy all by himself with nobody to kiss him when Joker lets him know that Captain Anderson wants to talk to him in Flux. How come Joker is the only officer to communicate with Shepard? It couldn't be Adams or Pressley or Chakwas just once?

So they set out for Flux and run into the last two sidequests in Mass Effect. And they really wanted to get those in there because they are both right outside the entrance to Flux. I can summarize them thusly:

Human-first politician: Can I count on your support?

Shepard: Nope, I don't agree with your platform.

Human-first politician: Nevermind then.

The politician and his supporters are protesting on Armistice Day which Shepard celebrates with Ashley back in part seven. So unless it has weirdly been a year since they went to Noveria Bioware kind of messed that one up. But the timeline was pretty confusing back in Dragon Age as well.

The next side mission goes like this:

Drug-addicted Alliance Negotiator: I need my drug to be sharp for the next big negotiation!

Shepard: Nope, you should get help for your drug problem.

Drug-addicted Alliance Negotiator: You're right. Thanks Commander.

So yeah that was pretty exciting.

They meet Anderson at Flux and he is ready to help bust them out of this joint.



'Was it over when the Japanese invaded Poland? NO SIR!'

Anderson is the only guy who believes anything Shepard has said or discovered during his mission so he is going to break into Citadel Security and release the Normandybecause he is so awesome. But Liara and Shepard suggest that maybe that might be a suicide mission so he says he probably could just use Udina's computer. So they go with that.

They run back to the Normandy and prepare to leave. Everybody is just sitting there waiting to see if Anderson can break them out.



'Man is he ever going to be outraged once he regains conciousness.'

You know video games and movies always make knocking somebody unconscious look much easier and safer than it probably really is.

Anderson releases the Normandy and they are off!

Everybody is super excited about it.



'The nice thing about this mission is if it doesn't work out the galaxy will be destroyed so we don't have to worry about that.'

Wow Pressly actually had something to say!



'I know. But I think we have already established that they fail at handling rogue Spectres.'



'Oh you can just say you were just following orders.’

Hey even Chakwas had something to say!



'At least Liara chose a more appropriate time to say this than when Tali did back in Part Five.'

Actually it is only over if we lose. If we win we have two more games.

Garrus is all baffled that Shepard is now breaking the rules after he told Garrus he had to obey the rules and not just murder everybody he doesn't like. Garrus has problems with applying basic situational awareness to his decision making.



'You know under the circumstances everybody seems eerily concerned with their career prospects.'

Wrex thinks what they are doing is crazy but...



'That is what Raz always tells me.'

Adams is the only one unconcerned.



'Engineers are the wisest around.'

I mean seriously though. We have a stealth ship inside the Terminus Systems, like the Council is really going to track us down.

Though Tali is curious what would happen if they did. Shepard suggests she would be ok since her dad is a big shot.



'Oh you Quarians and your charming ways.'

So anyway they arrive at Ilos and a big Geth fleet is waiting for them. They stealth right in amongst them.

Pressly, unusually taking part in this operation, locates the likely location of the Conduit but the nearest location to land the Normandy is 2 kilometers away. So Shepard decides they will drop in the Mako, which is a relief since I was worried there would not be a Mako section to this area. The only area to make that drop near the Conduit is 20 meters...um...square? I guess square meters. Everybody starts arguing if they can survive that since the Normandy would have to get crazy low to the ground to pull off a drop like that. But Joker claims he can do it so down they go!

That was actually a kind of neat scene with everybody except Garrus and Wrex debating what to do.

Alenko and Wrex will get the honor of coming on the final mission.



'Balance in all things. Hey what game is from? Oh right Dak'kon from PS:Torment.'

In another incredible display of timing they drop nearly right on Saren just as he is entering the...um...Conduit building I guess.



'Guess who?'

Saren runs in and closes the door so they get there just seconds too late. What follows is a rather confusing area because you have to go into this control center, taken over by the Geth, and it is incredibly dark and everything is overgrown with plants.



'Wait so where are we going here?'

Fortunately they just blow the hell out of those Geth. I felt kind of bad because I kept finding these terminals that took out the Armatures and actually I think those would have been kind of fun to fight. The best part was where there was a small army of Geth guarding the entrance to the control room. I got my guys up on a slightly higher elevation and the slaughter began.



'I AM THE ANGEL OF AI PLATFORM DEATH!'

So they enter the complex and fight their way into the inner areas. The décor is really something.



'Damn. Well preserved for being in a 50,0000 year old planet overwhelmed by plant life.'

Also those do not look like Protheans. Just saying.

They reach the control area and open the door. Nearby is some kind of Prothean hologram is still working and starts speaking in Prothean. Wrex and Kaidan cannot understand it but Shepard can!



'Ok so the Cipher did teach Shepard something about the Protheans!'

Huh...I wonder if that ever comes in handy again? The hologram is just saying that the Reaper Fleet is invincible and they want Protheans to hide in the Archives on Ilos and they built the Conduit as their only hope. Huh. So the Protheans built the Conduit? Interesting.

So they go back to the door and it opens so they can head after Saren. And then we get a very long straight hallway to drive the Mako down. My favorite!

The first part, though, is great. It is the Prothean Archives and you can see all the Cryopods the Protheans froze themselves in to try to wait out the Reaper invasion. The song is the one they play at the options screen at the beginning of the game and it is pretty chill. Not exactly the big final battle I was expecting.

Eventually the way is blocked by a force-field and you talk to the Prothean VI Vigil who lore dumps you something fierce.



'So listen up! I am about to let you know EVERYTHING.'

First the Citadel is a trap. It is the mass relay that brings the Reapers in from dark space. Oh right. So when the Reapers are not out destroying civilizations they go into hibernation. They are vulnerable in this state so they all sleep out in the dark space between galaxies where nobody can find them. They leave Sovereign nearby to open the relay when the next 50,000 year cycle is complete and it is time to harvest another space empire.

The Citadel and mass relays are set up to make sure that organic life always develops a galactic empire based around its technology. The Reapers then zoom in and harvest. The whole thing is predictable and cyclical. But the Protheans were super smart and had almost cracked the mass relay tech when the Reapers zoomed and destroyed their empire. So this group of Protheans on Ilos built the Conduit, a one way trip back to the Citadel, to stop the Reapers from using it as a mass relay again. They discovered the key was the Keepers, who were actually an ancient race of organics that the Reapers harvested and then left behind to maintain the station (sort of like what Saren hopes to become). Whenever it is time to harvest more organics Sovereign signals them and they open the relay.

So they just had to go into cryostasis and wait for the Reapers to go back to dark space. But it took the Reapers centuries to completely destroy the Protheans so by the time they woke up only a few dozen were left because low power meant the VI had to shut down more and more pods. This was not enough people to restore the Prothean race like they planned. But they went ahead and took the Conduit to the Citadel and did whatever they did to sever the tie between the Keepers and the Reapers. They succeeded so this time when Sovereign woke up he signaled the Keepers and nothing happened. So he used his mind control powers to enlist Saren and who knows who else to help him try to activate the Citadel Relay and bring the rest of the Reapers in to start destroying everyone. So once Saren uses the Conduit and allows Sovereign access to the Citadel everybody is doomed.

So hey Saren's plan is actually to attack the Citadel after all! Lucky guess Council. Not that their prescience does them much good. More on that later.

So...whew. Everybody got that?



'Oh right Saren. That speech was so long I almost forgot what I was doing here.'

So then they go through a very long straight hallway full of Geth in the Mako. Oh boy.



'Any particular reason you built the Conduit so freaking far from the Archives?'

So finally they reach the Conduit! And now the best part of the game, IMO, begins.



'I mean not to sound jaded Alenko but it looks just like what you would expect a mass relay to look like.'

At this point you get a cut scene of Sovereign and the Geth fleet pouring out of the Mass Relay by the Citadel.



'Hey whatever happened to that plan to blockade the Terminus Systems?'

Because it kind of seems like the fleet is undersized and surprised here. I thought they were expecting an attack on the Citadel?

So the Destiny Ascension and the Turian fleet engage and the Asari commanding the Ascension, which you recall is the flagship for the entire galaxy, calls upon the Citadel to be sealed for the battle. But, of course, Saren and his Geth are already in the Citadel causing havoc. So the call goes out to abandon the Citadel and the Ascension picks up the Council.

The countdown to extinction is just minutes away from starting!

So you have to roll past these Geth Collosus in a very short window before the Conduit closes.



'Hah! So long suckers!'

Probably should have put those Geth right in front of the Conduit. So the Mako blasts off into the Citadel, coming through the relay 'statue' foreshadowed earlier, and wrecks after flattening a few startled Geth.



'Wait so you mean there are no more Mako sections? So sad.'

Avina, the Citadel VI, is a little alarmed by the massive destruction occurring around it but lets them know that Saren is on his way to the Council Chamber.



'Probably too busy filling out all their paperwork right Garrus? Garrus? Oh right. He's back on the ship.'

C Sec needs to stop dying so much and get out there and arrest Saren.

And now comes the dramatic moment where we...GET ON AN ELEVATOR.



'So...you guys want to go get lunch after this?'

Now a cutscene plays where we see Saren reach the station controls. He closes the arms. We get a very brief view of the Executor, the Turian commander of the Council Fleet, commanding his ships to stop Sovereign from getting inside the arms.



'They cannot stand in front of the full might of a Turian Battleship!'



'Ok nevermind.'

So the station closes with only Sovereign inside. It...um....attaches itself to council tower somehow.



'Man that's disturbing looking.'

What can save the galaxy now? Why that damn elevator if it could go any faster!

But Saren stops it so they have to break out and fight their way up the tower through Geth and Krogan and defense towers.



'Oh and we get to take out another Geth ship on foot.'

Kind of fun really, I always enjoy these fights to get someplace with a feeling of tension. Like that pursuit at the end of Trespasser in Dragon Age Inquisition.

Eventually they get into the Council Chamber and defeat the few Geth inside and approach Saren. And he is ready for the final confrontation! His final confrontation with Shepard's charm skill that is. Sovereign has tried to fight it:



'You think implants from a super advanced ancient godlike being will save you?'

Saren then explains that putting implants in people is how we reach the APEX of all life.



'So...does that mean in order to upgrade the reapers we need to attach some fleshy bits to them?'

That makes no sense Saren. You crazy man.

Shepard tries to make him see that there is still a few minutes left to save the galaxy he just has to stop being looney toons. It takes three whole charm skill uses but Saren begins to see what he has to do.



'The charm skill can even make the big bad guy shoot himself for you!'

Man is this skill great or what? So Saren dramatically falls through a glass floor into a garden of some sort. Shepard takes control of the station and opens the arms and opens communications. Joker tells him that the Normandy has joined the Arcturus Fleet and is ready to come in once they unlock the relays. How he joined the fleet is not shown but Hackett and his fleet stand ready to answer the Citadel's distress call.

Now there is an option to save the Destiny Ascension or let it be destroyed. I can see the logic of focusing on Sovereign since we are just minutes away from OUR DOOM but it is the biggest and most powerful ship in the fleet and it would be a great symbol of galactic unity to have the Alliance save the Council so we do that. Weirdly Wrex argues the 'humanity first' line while Kaidan says we should stand for galactic unity.

So why this is left up to Shepard is anybody's guess but Admiral Hackett sends in the fleet and they drive off the Geth fleet.



'There! Now surely everybody will eager unite together to fight the Reapers!'

At this point the arms of the Citadel open and everybody charges in to attack Sovereign. So that is it right? The game is over? The good guys won? Well...



'Time to die meatbags!'

So Sovereign can control Saren even from beyond the grave. The first time I fought this fight I was really surprised and damn I kept dying a lot, Saren is one of those assassin Geth but really really tough to kill. But the secret is just to keep moving and don't let him use his assassination attack on you and you eventually bring him down. I seem to recall there was some way to cheese through this fight really easily but I would never do something like that. No sir. And further I couldn't remember it.

Anyway Shepard and company are so souped up on top gear now that even when Saren scored a hit we were able to patch it up. But man I bet this was a rude surprise to many people since he is so much harder than of the other recent fights and I am sure many people thought the game was over.

Midway through you get a cutscene where the Alliance is getting blown away by Sovereign but Hackett tells them to keep attacking.

Once you defeat Sovereign/Saren Sovereign begins to fall apart. I was never clear on if there is supposed to be a connection, like you weakened Sovereign somehow. And the Alliance moves in for the kill.



'Who is beyond whose comprehension now?!'

But just to add some extra OMGDRAMA parts of Sovereign connect to the tower and you think for a second Shepard was killed but NO! HE EMERGES FROM THE WRECKAGE LIKE AN ASS KICKING PHOENIX!!11



'Whew! The sequel is saved!'

So sometime later there is a ceremony where the Council thanks the Alliance and Shepard for their efforts.



'Probably not but if you could try that would be great!'

So then they say that because humanity has done so good they want a human to join the Council. And Shepard gets to have a say and he wants Captain Anderson since they need a military man to lead them on what is surely to be a huge galactic effort against the Reapers. Also that keeps Udina as outraged as possible for the sequel.



'Damn right Councilor! Let's unite the galaxy and prepare for the final battle for existence!'

I know everybody is excited for the sequel where we travel throughout the galaxy uniting everybody against the Reaper threat with a committed and united Council at our backs! Because that is how it is going to go right?



'I am Commander Fucking Shepard and I cannot be defeated!'

Next: Commander Fucking Shepard is defeated.

But actually next I am going to wrap up my thoughts on Mass Effect.

Man the ending is so pulse-pounding you are ready to start a new game plus right away and forget all about all those hours hunting minerals.

And then they give you that song in the credits that gets stuck in your head for hours. 'And I need you to recover because I can't make it on my ooooown!'

Not sure what that had to do with Mass Effect BUT IT ROCKS. Or at least really gets you right after you finish Mass Effect for some reason.



'Man look at all those people who didn't work on Mass Effect Andromeda!'

[garbon]

and yay. You'll get to have Alenko the Whiner!

[Valmy]

and yay. You'll get to have Alenko the Whiner!

Ashley doesn't whine, she just screams obscenities at you

[Malicious Intent]

Yay, one down, two more to go. 

I absolutely loved the final part of ME1. Great sense of urgency, good use of music and a very nice "oh shit" moment, when you walk along the outside of the council tower and really see the gargantuan scale of Sovereign from a grunt's perspective.

It's also great that you killed off Ashley. I let Kaidan die during my original playthrough and - stupidly - again when I recently replayed the original trilogy. Will be interesting how his character  develops.

[Malicious Intent]

I agree with your assessment. Virmire and Noveria were both the best. And yes they had a speech skill in DA:O and it was important but it was not quite the magical mind control Charm Skill is in ME1.

Yes I have all the DLC for ME2 but, while I recently bought ME3, I don't have the DLC yet.

ME3 had mainly a lot of weapon pack DLCs. Never saw much need for those.
The four story DLC ("From Ashes", "Leviathan", "Omega" and "Citadel") are all good to excellent in my personal view.

[Valmy]

Thoughts on Mass Effect

Ok so say what you want about the 'intro-go four places-finale' era of Bioware (see chart: http://31.media.tumblr.com/13aa9c50c7839653d6bc70f225540c41/tumblr_n4g8cgCuBt1sj12u8o1_1280.jpg) but they really knew how to end a game. KOTOR, Jade Empire, Mass Effect, and Dragon Age Origins all had awesome endings that had you pumped and ready for more. I have to say it makes you very forgiving of the rest of the game's faults. So yeah I like Mass Effect, not as much as I like Dragon Age Origins, but it is a flawed gem.

So let's talk about some of the things that make it so.

The obvious one is the Mako and the Uncharted Worlds Content.

I think I have already stated my dislike for the long straight corridor sections of the main missions. They are boring time sinks with very little that is challenging or interesting. In fact I often just got out of the Mako to fight just to make it fun. Even in Feros and Noveria where you did not even land in the Mako they had other Makos for you to use just to do this. Of these bad sections Therum is the least bad but that is also most of that mission. 

The uncharted worlds and the collection quests are also time sinks that have little challenge or thought associated with them. You go to the place and get the thing. I am reminded of a much older game with a similar mechanic, Star Control 2, where you had to land on planets in your rover and get minerals and various space thingies. In that game the planets were really dangerous and you had to avoid earthquakes and fires and radioactivity and giant space monsters. You were going to lose lots of crewmembers and rovers getting that stuff unless you were really good. That was fun and challenging. The only thing you get like that in this game is the Thresher Maws, and don't get the me wrong those are great, but that is the only real challenge you are going to find on most uncharted worlds when getting the minerals or crashed probes or whatever.

Well ok there was also the samey terrain. Every single planet, no matter what its other features, was almost ridiculously mountainous. Even planets with thick atmospheres and vegetation (well sort of...everything was ground lichen there were never any trees or anything) were the same. Big mountains. Mountains everywhere. I guess that made the planets seem bigger than they really were. But it just made them infuriating and tedious and slow to drive around on, especially with the Mako bouncy castle physics. Well actually it seemed designed to make the weird physics of the Mako especially annoying and noticeable.

The uncharted world side missions had bizarrely low production values. Every single asset was reused and text boxes were extensively used to tell the stories (the space ships were all exactly the same map with only the interior furniture moved around). But often those stories were actually kind of interesting and important. Cerberus, for example, entirely lives in side content and they are kind of important for the rest of the series. All of your companion quests, which impact those character's developments, are side content on uncharted worlds. But even though you get a lot of information about the setting and lots of plots that matter in the second game they all...well...they feel a little repetitive. The endless space zombies. The three different biotic terrorist groups.

The sheer volume of the side content is also a problem. I think it is at least 2/3rds of your playtime in this game provided you attempt to do most of it (and you are given plenty of incentive to do so). There are 25 uncharted worlds to explore and 6 space ships to board. And all the previous issues really made it feel like a grind.

I feel like a real opportunity was missed here by Bioware. They had gotten us hooked into this world with a great intro and then lore dumped all this stuff about aliens on us in the Citadel. We needed to get out there and see some Turians and Volus and Hanar and whomever in action. We needed to see different kinds of species in action, even the ones that mostly just for laughs. And that would have been a much more interesting way to learn about the galaxy than the lore dumps. Sort of like how they teach you all this stuff about the Quarians but you never get to meet them. Instead we mostly get humans, humans getting killed by Cerberus.

If I had been giving Bioware feedback on this after I first played it back in 2008 I would recommend they keep the uncharted world content but reduce the tedious stuff and make the interesting stuff more exotic and interesting. Let's have a Turian militia holding out against a space monster on one world and an intense fued between Elcor tribes (all speaking with their hilarious monotone) on another. Let's have the worlds be dangerous and different looking and add some more production values. Just totally dumping them, like they did for ME2, I think was a mistake.

The Combat is kind of interesting. The Combat is way less cover based than I remember Mass Effect 2 being. You can survive battles by moving around and using your powers to stay alive without any cover. So that is cool. But it is poorly balanced. The beginning of the game you struggle along but by the end you are a machine of ultimate death and I do not even recall a time when it seemed just right. Also there are too many bad guys who can one shot kill you which is kind of lame, but I think that was to keep you inside the Mako (though thresher maws can also one shot kill the Mako). The fact I could not play on Insanity kind of sucked since I enjoy a good challenge.

Also the game just throws so much loot at you. Money quickly has no meaning and I was maxed out on credits, with 9,999,999 for the last 1/3 of the game. You gain great gear quickly and before I even got to Noveria I was pretty much maxed out in most things. Granted Pinnacle Station took what balance there was and tossed it out the window with its ridiculously unbalanced rewards.

Ok so lets talk about the characters. Of course I have a soft spot in my heart for the heroic and upright Captain Anderson and the sleazy and outraged Ambassador Udina. They handle Saren pretty well; at the beginning of the game you are eager for his blood. But he is a fake bad guy. Sovereign is the real villain so as a result Saren hardly registers as a memorable bad guy, Sovereign and his quotes about YOUR DOOM are more impactful on your mind I think just as it should be.

Of the party members it seems like Ashley and Liara get star billing with their number of lines, with Kaidan and Wrex a bit behind. I found Garrus and Tali pretty one note and underdeveloped. And that note was either horrifying, like Garrus, or really boring and lore dumpy, like Tali. I didn't really care for either the first time I played the game but fortunately *spoilers* the sequel gives them a bit more to work with. Wrex is a bit more interesting with his world weariness and conflicted feelings about the fate of his species. You end the game not knowing quite how he feels about the whole thing. Liara is there to lore dump about Protheans and say how great Shepard is. Kaidan is the eternally reasonable one. Ashley is the screamy one, with a big chip on her shoulder. I am reasonably fond of them, not the greatest cast in Bioware history or anything.

I guess my final thoughts are that the intro and end are both excellent and where this game shines the brightest. Overall it is very much in the style and quality of the Bioware titles of the decade of the 2000s.

So on to Mass Effect 2, a game I have very mixed feelings on and am eager to talk about.

Final stats:



Assault Rifle: HMWA X Spectre Master
Mods: Frictionless Materials IX  and Kinetic Coil X
Ammo: Snowblind IX

Shotgun: HMWSG X Spectre Master
Mods: Combat Optics IX and Kinetic Coil IX
Ammo: High Explosive X

Pistol: HMWP X Spectre Master
Mods: Frictionless Materials X  and Scram Rail X
Ammo: Sledgehammer X

Sniper Rifle: HMWSR X Spectre Master
Mods: Kinetic Coil X and Frictionless Materials IX
Ammo: Sledgehammer X

Grenade Launcher: High Explosive IX

OmniTool: Savant X

Armor: Colossus X Medium
Mods: Medical Exoskeleton X and Kinetic Exoskeleton X

Total Playtime: 55 hours

[Valmy]

Yay, one down, two more to go. 

Two? Don't you mean...three?

I absolutely loved the final part of ME1. Great sense of urgency, good use of music and a very nice "oh shit" moment, when you walk along the outside of the council tower and really see the gargantuan scale of Sovereign from a grunt's perspective.

It's also great that you killed off Ashley. I let Kaidan die during my original playthrough and - stupidly - again when I recently replayed the original trilogy. Will be interesting how his character  develops.

Yes it is great. I had forgotten about how much I loved the ending of it. Trying to shoot Sovereign off with small arms is always fun.

Thanks I think a heroic death suits Ashley. I am hoping for good things for Kaidan in ME3.

[Valmy]

ME3 had mainly a lot of weapon pack DLCs. Never saw much need for those.
The four story DLC ("From Ashes", "Leviathan", "Omega" and "Citadel") are all good to excellent in my personal view.

Thanks for the advice!

[viper37]

'You know I am no expert on space economics but with all these attack drones, Vis, and robots I just don't understand the big business incentive to invest in space zombie labor.'

Tax credits on R&D

(1)I have to say I am a little confused about the "cure for the Genophage" in this game. I mean it is not like Saren has a whole bunch of Krogan ladies in there hatching thousands of Krogan Eggs and raising little Krogan babies until they finally reach maturity however long that takes. He just has a bunch of vats spewing out full grown male Krogan battle thralls. So it seems more like a cloning program. (2) Oddly the game never addresses this.

1- The vats are for experimentation purpose, he is doing some research to cure the genophage too.
2- In ME2 and ME3.

'Ah. How comforting every ship can turn its drive into a nuke.'

Well, I figure a nuclear powered warship's drive could be converted into a bomb too?  Like overheating the drive, shutting down the coolant, just like a terrorist would do to a nuclear plant in a 24 episode?

and the other three will just hang on the ship with the rest of Shepards marines

It makes sense that during a critical nearly suicidal mission, most of the soldiers would stay and guard the ship while only a tiny few go on the attack.  Or maybe not. 

'Huh? Dude you have never even been to Eden Prime.'

He read the report

I mean once the Reapers are done the Geth will be the dominant power in the galaxy so I can understand why they might be excited about this 'extermination of all organic life' thing.

You misunderstand the Reapers' actions.  It is not an extermination.  I think Sovereign will explain it later.

I could be wrong about that, I don't know how the Kaidan/Ashley story ends in Mass Effect 3 but we will see. So anyway that is my thinking and why I made that choice.

Ashley was the chosen one.  She was supposed to restore balance to the galaxy and defeat the Reapers.  Without her, you are all doomed. 

I believe it plays pretty much the same (for obvious reasons), but as I save Ashley, my love, I want to see your story, how it goes with Kaidan up to #3.

This does however end Shepard's romance so no hot sex for him in this game, though that does save him the potentially difficult situation with fraternization regulations.

Isn't Liara still an option?