The Off Topic Topic

[Brazen]

Is SesQUIZpedalian Loquaciousness too smartarse for a quiz team name?

[alfred russel]

So today I go to the doctor for a physical. I have a tonail I destroyed like 2 months ago and it got a fungal infection. I was like "yo doc, lets fix this!" And doc was like, "no, there is no safe fix, ever. You will have to live with that the rest of your life."   

[Liep]

Is SesQUIZpedalian Loquaciousness too smartarse for a quiz team name?

Aren't quiz team names meant to be a little too clever?

[Brazen]

So today I go to the doctor for a physical. I have a tonail I destroyed like 2 months ago and it got a fungal infection. I was like "yo doc, lets fix this!" And doc was like, "no, there is no safe fix, ever. You will have to live with that the rest of your life."   

Can't you buy OTC nail fungus medication? Over here they advertised stuff called Curanail (active ingredient Amorolfine 5%w/v). The currently visible nail you see is done for, but a new one should grow back healthy.

[Brazen]

Aren't quiz team names meant to be a little too clever?

Last year's Tequila Mockingbird went down well.

And two weeks ago we won an NUJ pub quiz with Risky Quizness.

[derspiess]

As a local I try to avoid anything that psycho Dan Patrick puts out. 

  You're just bitter for not being invited to the Man Cave.

[Liep]

Last year's Tequila Mockingbird went down well.

And two weeks ago we won an NUJ pub quiz with Risky Quizness.

Perhaps it's due to my foreignness but I had to look up sesquipedalian, so it wouldn't have been such an instant hit.

[alfred russel]

So today I go to the doctor for a physical. I have a tonail I destroyed like 2 months ago and it got a fungal infection. I was like "yo doc, lets fix this!" And doc was like, "no, there is no safe fix, ever. You will have to live with that the rest of your life."   

Can't you buy OTC nail fungus medication? Over here they advertised stuff called Curanail (active ingredient Amorolfine 5%w/v). The currently visible nail you see is done for, but a new one should grow back healthy.

He said it is pointless to use any treatment until my nail falls out, and then I should try the OTC stuff, but he was skeptical it would work. (I will try it though)

He didn't approve of the prescription stuff, saying it caused liver damage and he had one patient who it made his skin fall off.  He said there wasn't a point in the risk as I'd just damage the toenail again and it would get re-infected over and over.

[Valmy]

Go to a strip club, one of the club girls sit with you.  May be a dancer, may not.  She asks you to buy her a drink.  What you are doing is buying time.  Her time is about $30-$50 a drink.  Some places, when she gets her drink, will give her a poker chip or other marker that she can turn in at the end of the night for her share of the tips.

Ok that is what I thought.

[DGuller]

I was trying to figure out what the hell you meant by 10x the going rate for bar drinks.

Back in the 50s and 60s, it was called hostessing.

Go to a strip club, one of the club girls sit with you.  May be a dancer, may not.  She asks you to buy her a drink.  What you are doing is buying time.  Her time is about $30-$50 a drink.  Some places, when she gets her drink, will give her a poker chip or other marker that she can turn in at the end of the night for her share of the tips. 
During that time she's sitting with you, you can discuss other transactions which may or may not occur there, in the VIP Lounge or whatever cordoned off space the dump has, or whatever.  Because prostitution is illegal, the club's defense would be that you simply "bought her a drink."

They like young guys because young guys have cash but are timid, and are stupid enough to keep buying $30 drinks over and over with no expectations. They don't like to sit with guys like me, because I will be spanking that ass during my complimentary handjob in the VIP lounge inside of 10 minutes.

Seedy puts the "seedy" in Seedy.

[Ed Anger]

I hate Christmas shopping.   

[CountDeMoney]

Seedy puts the "seedy" in Seedy.

We don't judge our clients.

[jimmy olsen]

Korean authorities are obviously concerned about the problem,

Trying to stay optimistic. 

They are "concerned"

Americans are unhappy, do something to save face!
Korean women with American soldiers! Shameful!

[Barrister]

My boys were super excited to put on their hallowe'en costumes to go to daycare this morning.

[Valmy]

I don't know if this story is real, but if it is, I don't know how I would react about it. You know what happens when you assume...

From Reddit's TIFU (Today I Fucked Up) section:

TIFU by making a stupid assumption about my adopted son.

Well, I suppose this fuck up has happened today, and has been happening everyday for the past seventeen years.

About seventeen years ago my wife and I adopted a baby from an Asian American family. While we knew very little details, basically what happened with them is that we learned they were too young for children. I made very little inquiries as (they seemed embarrassed/I didn't want to pry). I was just excited to have a son and couldn't have cared less about the parent's history, besides their current and future well being. So as long as they were healthy and willing to gift me with their child, I really did not go too much into their histories.

As one might expect.  This child is part of your family now and since he is adopting a newborn presumably one wants to bring the baby fully into your family.

This was my major fuck up. My wife and I choose to adopt this baby because we felt for the parents and anyone that has been through the adoption process knows that it is much easier to get a non-white baby than it is to get a white one (which is fucked up IMO) and we wanted one NOW and didn't want to be on a wait list.

White people want a baby that sorta looks like them.  Probably not the most noble thing in the world agreed.  But if they were going for nobility they probably would have gotten an older child who desperately needs adopting than a newborn.  But why is this a fuckup?  It is now your kid who cares what the baby looks like.

Anyway we adopt this beautiful, loving, affectionate and incredible baby. It's truly love at first sight for all of us.

Sounds great!

Around about eight months we start to feel a little bit of guilt about not raising him in his on ethnic culture

Wait...what?  He adopts a child to raise as his own and now feels guilty for having adopted a non-white one after his little spiel about how fucked up it was to only want a white one?  So he now considers his own child a foreigner to his family.  WTH?  I can see maybe later on if the kid decides he or she is interested but that is bizarre. 

and given that we live in an area with a major Chinese population, it would be very easy to introduce him to his roots.

Wait wait wait...you adopted an Asian American baby not a Chinese one.  How do you even know this baby is not Vietnamese or something?  And again he is an AMERICAN baby so...ok maybe I see where this is going.

So for the next seventeen years we do everything we can to honor his ethnicity. We send him to Chinese language courses and by five he's fluent in Mandarin and English

Holy shit by five?  That is pretty amazing.  That is more than taking him to the Asian American heritage parade, he is freaking fluent in Mandarin by age five.  Most people just hope their kid can read English by five.  Jewish kids are barely fluent in Hebrew after a decade at those Jewish weekend school things.  Wow.

, he gets an "adopted" by a Chinese aunt and uncle (they taught him cultural things and celebrate certain holidays and take him for dim sum every couple of weeks).

Damn.  I hope they left him a little bit of time to learn about their family and the US.  This is...woah.

We've been taking him to China every two years since he was eight.

Holy shit.  This is one lucky kid to be able to travel so much and learn all this stuff about China.  Should help him in his career and everything.

We weren't trying to force him to take up his culture as an "other" in our family, but we didn't want to rob him of it or completely whitewash him either.

Um yes you did if you did it all before he was five and before he could even ask about it.  As for whitewashing it...you just assumed he was Chinese ethnically when all you knew was he was an Asian-American   On the other hand your manic and insane efforts at least gave your kid some great experiences and skills I guess.

We try and be PC as possible and we thought we were doing the right thing.

Well you did do something good.  Granted for a bizarre and messed up reason...

He's the best thing that has ever happened to me and my wife. There is not a day were I don't just look at him and smile warmly. I love him.  Anyway we are filling out his college apps/financial aid applications and doing that whole thing. I go to my home office and go through some files and find his old adoption records. I'm not really paying much attention to them and then his biological parents surnames pop out and basically punch me in the face. His parent's last names were PARK AND KIM. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

For those of you that do not know, those are Korean last names. My son is not Chinese. Not even a little bit.

LOL who lives in the US and did not see this coming?  I mean this is not a fuckup I mean who makes a big deal about exposing their child to their biological ethnicity and does not consider step 1 finding out what that ethnicity might be?  On the other hand...who cares what his freaking biological ethnicity is?  This guy adopted him, he is a member of his family and is not Chinese even if his biological parents were Marshall and Madam Chiang Kai-sheck.   You have a kid you raised successfully to adulthood who speaks Mandarin fluently and knows a shitload about China.  That's awesome.

He's Korean.

I suppose I just assumed it because we live in an area on the west coast where there are a lot of Chinese immigrants and Chinese-Americans have been living for generations and generations.

No he is an idiot nobody in their right mind would assume that.  Especially when it would have been simple to just check.

I don't always assume every Asian is Chinese, but I did assume this for my son.

So he gives less thought to the ethnicity of his son, who he was prepared to dish out a fortune in exploring his ethnicity, than to random strangers he meets .  I like his little 'I am not racist, I don't assume EVERY Asian is Chinese except this one little time.'

Now I have a seventeen year old Korean son that thinks he's Chinese. Now that I look at him, he looks INCREDIBLY Korean in comparassion to all of the photos of Korean men that I have just googled.

Chill man.  Your son is not Chinese he is a member of your family.  Just tell him you were wrong and maybe he can study Korean in college if he really cares.  Furthermore the freaking Chinese people you have been exposing him to for 17 years didn't even notice he was Korean.  Or maybe they did and were like 'huh he looks Korean...oh well maybe he is from Northern China'.   

Very square jaw, less hooded eyes, very broad build. None of this ever crossed my mind.

Again....how could this not cross his mind?  It is like just assuming you are German without even bothering to do any family research to the point of not even bothering to check your parents last names.

I've dedicated nearly two decades to helping my son be close to roots that aren't even his.

Again they were not his anyway, he is an American born kid raised by Americans.  But you did raise a kid who speaks freaking Mandarin and is knowledgeable about China and its culture.  That's amazing, so I would say it worked out.

I realize that I've just been fucking up. I feel like a complete asshole to the nth degree. I'm that dumb liberal white dickhead. Fuck.

Oh yeah sure you fuck up and you blame all white liberal people.  The contemptible part here is that he is making this all about him.  He was an idiot sure, but the thing that is upsetting him most of all is in his mind this makes him a non-PC white person oppressing the coloreds or something.  You almost get the sense he got his son taught Mandarin and all that stuff just to make him feel better about himself and it had nothing to do with his son at all.

I have yet to disclose this to my son or wife.

I honestly don't even know if I will.

What the fuck?  What a self centered douche.  It is not a big deal.  You gave your son this amazing life experience growing up, hell I wish my boys spoke Mandarin and I could take them to China every two years.  It really is all about him.