The Off Topic Topic

[mongers]

Sometimes jokes write themselves.

A Polish man and woman taking selfies at the cliffs of Cabo Da Roca in Portugal on Saturday fell to their deaths. According to investigators, the couple had been taking photos of themselves when they fell down a cliff and into the Atlantic Ocean, NBC reports. A rescue team recovered their bodies Sunday after having to suspend their search Saturday due to bad weather.

At least they got to write their own obituaries ( =trending on twitter )

[mongers]

Oh I forgot thingy's birthday a couple of days ago. 

[MadImmortalMan]

It seems the new owner of the Clippers is...Steve Ballmer. 

[Ideologue]

Tripped on an escalator with my keys in my hand, so that when I braced myself I struck the edge of the step fingernail-first.  I thought I was okay at first but I apparently hit hard enough for blood to start leaking out of my cuticle.

[LaCroix]

i've become such a resume slut. it's starting to feel like pokemon

[Eddie Teach]

i've become such a resume slut. it's starting to feel like pokemon

Have the offers not been forthcoming? 

[LaCroix]

i mean collecting items for my resume

[Liep]

Tripped on an escalator with my keys in my hand, so that when I braced myself I struck the edge of the step fingernail-first.  I thought I was okay at first but I apparently hit hard enough for blood to start leaking out of my cuticle.

Why did you have your keys in your hand? And how can you trip on an escalator, I was under the impression that Americans never use them as stairs.

[Grey Fox]

Tripped on an escalator with my keys in my hand, so that when I braced myself I struck the edge of the step fingernail-first.  I thought I was okay at first but I apparently hit hard enough for blood to start leaking out of my cuticle.

Why did you have your keys in your hand? And how can you trip on an escalator, I was under the impression that Americans never use them as stairs.

That's a bad impression. God damn assholes running up those things.

[crazy canuck]

Tripped on an escalator with my keys in my hand, so that when I braced myself I struck the edge of the step fingernail-first.  I thought I was okay at first but I apparently hit hard enough for blood to start leaking out of my cuticle.

And how can you trip on an escalator, I was under the impression that Americans never use them as stairs.

My guess is he was looking at his smart phone.  The funny part is no one else noticed the fall because they were also just looking at their smart phones.

[Liep]

Smartphone one hand, keys another. Then it'd make sense he'd go down key-hand first to protect the smartphone. So he hit the edge of the step with a clutched hand. I can picture it now.

[garbon]

(Two bored girls in their 20s approach the [concierge] desk.)

GUEST: Is there anything good to do here?

(Concierge can't believe someone is asking him this. He recalls that just two days ago he was drinking champagne on the beach. He realizes that he has a 12 hour shift ahead of him.)

CONCIERGE: Anything good to do in New York? No.

GUEST: Really?

CONCIERGE: Really.

GUEST: Ok. Thanks.

[alfred russel]

Video of rock climbers visiting some random place in Russia and being shocked by what they found:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwCyM84HCcA

The essence of the Russian people.

[Valmy]

i've become such a resume slut. it's starting to feel like pokemon

Any advice on how to become a resume slut?

[Ideologue]

Volunteer for bullshit that enhances your resume--possibly--without being in any sense personally, intrinsically worthwhile.