Should a man ask for permission from his future bride's parents?

Started by Caliga, September 27, 2011, 06:33:05 AM

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Should a man ask for permission from his future bride's parents?

Yes, and I did
6 (14.6%)
Yes, but I didn't
2 (4.9%)
Yes - never been in that situation myself
3 (7.3%)
No, but I did anyway
3 (7.3%)
No, and I didn't
12 (29.3%)
No - never been in that situation myself
15 (36.6%)

Total Members Voted: 41

Eddie Teach

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Zoupa


Eddie Teach

To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

Ideologue

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CountDeMoney

Quote from: Ideologue on September 28, 2011, 04:33:22 AM
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After a big holiday dinner at my grandmother's and her fabulous creamed corn, there was always that one fucking kernel that would never flush.

crazy canuck

Quote from: Razgovory on September 27, 2011, 11:34:02 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 27, 2011, 11:12:12 PM
Quote from: Siege on September 27, 2011, 06:28:14 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on September 27, 2011, 12:40:54 PM
If you want a dowry.

Dowry is paid by the groom's father to the bride's father.
You westernessers got it wrong.
Pretty sure the standard in Central Asia is for the Bride's Father to pay the Groom's.

It works differently in different places.

Dowry is where the wife's family pays, Bride price is where the husband or his family pays.

I dont think that is universally true.  In some parts of China a dowry can also be the husband's family paying the wife's family.  For some Chinese families that tradition has carried on after they moved to Canada.  As an example of this one of my associates is often teased by her father that she needs to get married so that he can recover the dowry he had to pay when his son got married.  They dont refer to it as a "bride price".

Martinus

Quote from: crazy canuck on September 28, 2011, 09:26:54 AM
I dont think that is universally true.  In some parts of China a dowry can also be the husband's family paying the wife's family.  For some Chinese families that tradition has carried on after they moved to Canada.  As an example of this one of my associates is often teased by her father that she needs to get married so that he can recover the dowry he had to pay when his son got married.  They dont refer to it as a "bride price".

It wouldn't be the first time when someone misuses a word, especially one with historical/traditional connotations. Especially when herself she is coming from a different culture/language (Hint: English is not the first language for people living in "some parts of China").  :huh:

According to wiki, Raz is right:

QuoteA dowry (also known as trousseau or tocher or, in Latin, dos) is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage.[1][2] It contrasts with bride price, which is paid to the bride's parents, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage.

MadImmortalMan

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Razgovory

Quote from: crazy canuck on September 28, 2011, 09:26:54 AM

I dont think that is universally true.  In some parts of China a dowry can also be the husband's family paying the wife's family.  For some Chinese families that tradition has carried on after they moved to Canada.  As an example of this one of my associates is often teased by her father that she needs to get married so that he can recover the dowry he had to pay when his son got married.  They dont refer to it as a "bride price".

Oh, I imagine they don't call it "bride price" or "dowry". They probably have their own word for it.  The Chinese are so troublesome like that, they have to have a separate word for everything.  I got my definition from so college course I took a long time ago.  Sociology or anthropology or something like that.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Grey Fox

Quote from: Razgovory on September 28, 2011, 11:11:34 AM
Quote from: crazy canuck on September 28, 2011, 09:26:54 AM

I dont think that is universally true.  In some parts of China a dowry can also be the husband's family paying the wife's family.  For some Chinese families that tradition has carried on after they moved to Canada.  As an example of this one of my associates is often teased by her father that she needs to get married so that he can recover the dowry he had to pay when his son got married.  They dont refer to it as a "bride price".

Oh, I imagine they don't call it "bride price" or "dowry". They probably have their own word for it.  The Chinese are so troublesome like that, they have to have a separate word for everything.  I got my definition from so college course I took a long time ago.  Sociology or anthropology or something like that.

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Martinus

We need a poll "Should a man ask for permission from his future bride?".

Valmy

Quote from: Martinus on September 28, 2011, 11:38:25 AM
We need a poll "Should a man ask for permission from his future bride?".

Why not just ask her?  Having to ask permission to propose and THEN propose seems a little redundant.
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derspiess

I didn't ask.  We eloped, and then after a few months decided to break the news to them by scanning & emailing them our marriage certificate.  I never really thought the asking the father thing was a big deal...

until my daughter was born earlier this year :menace:
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The Brain

Quote from: derspiess on September 28, 2011, 12:03:35 PM
I didn't ask.  We eloped, and then after a few months decided to break the news to them by scanning & emailing them our marriage certificate.  I never really thought the asking the father thing was a big deal...

until my daughter was born earlier this year :menace:

You regret not asking the father of your daughter?

Thank you.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

crazy canuck

Quote from: Martinus on September 28, 2011, 09:54:22 AM
Quote from: crazy canuck on September 28, 2011, 09:26:54 AM
I dont think that is universally true.  In some parts of China a dowry can also be the husband's family paying the wife's family.  For some Chinese families that tradition has carried on after they moved to Canada.  As an example of this one of my associates is often teased by her father that she needs to get married so that he can recover the dowry he had to pay when his son got married.  They dont refer to it as a "bride price".

It wouldn't be the first time when someone misuses a word, especially one with historical/traditional connotations. Especially when herself she is coming from a different culture/language (Hint: English is not the first language for people living in "some parts of China").  :huh:

According to wiki, Raz is right:

QuoteA dowry (also known as trousseau or tocher or, in Latin, dos) is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage.[1][2] It contrasts with bride price, which is paid to the bride's parents, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage.

Yeah Marti, my associate who speaks Mandarin, Cantonese, French, English and some Spanish would be completely oblivious to any language nuance.  I should definitely trust wiki on this one.  There could never be a different use of the words.