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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Martim Silva on September 15, 2011, 11:12:00 AM

Title: Question about asswiping
Post by: Martim Silva on September 15, 2011, 11:12:00 AM
More serious than you'd think.

I just had a conversation where it was pointed out that people in cultures with no bidet just wipe their behinds with toilet paper after they've done their necessities, leaving the rest of the cleaning for when they shower/bathe, which can be latter in the day.

Is that true?  :huh:

Or what is it exactly that you do in a bidet-less bathroom to properly clean up after you've done your necessities?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Valmy on September 15, 2011, 11:19:38 AM
Quote from: Martim Silva on September 15, 2011, 11:12:00 AM
More serious than you'd think.

I just had a conversation where it was pointed out that people in cultures with no bidet just wipe their behinds with toilet paper after they've done their necessities, leaving the rest of the cleaning for when they shower/bathe, which can be latter in the day.

Is that true?  :huh:

Or what is it exactly that you do in a bidet-less bathroom to properly clean up after you've done your necessities?

Yep.  Though I do wash my hands afterwards.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Viking on September 15, 2011, 11:21:00 AM
 :huh:

Yes, depending on how substantive and sticky the residue is the toilet paper is folded the sufficient amount of times and a sufficient amount of force and repetition is used to wipe it clean. Now there is often a small residue. It does not follow, but cultures without bidets usually consider bidet equipped cultures to be unclean on the grounds that they are not known for daily showers and regular hand washing.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Razgovory on September 15, 2011, 11:27:24 AM
I hate you.  Don't post threads like this no more.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Grey Fox on September 15, 2011, 11:35:30 AM
Yes, it's true.

I've always wonder how a bidet works. How the hell do you not wet every inch of your butt, pants, underwear & the floor.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Eddie Teach on September 15, 2011, 11:38:22 AM
Keep wiping until the sheet comes back clear.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Viking on September 15, 2011, 11:49:14 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 15, 2011, 11:35:30 AM
Yes, it's true.

I've always wonder how a bidet works. How the hell do you not wet every inch of your butt, pants, underwear & the floor.

I always thought the Bidet was for womens issues.. that was until I went to japan and used the robotic toilet seat.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: BuddhaRhubarb on September 15, 2011, 11:49:33 AM
why did you give mongers your password? bad form.:p
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: DGuller on September 15, 2011, 11:54:10 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 15, 2011, 11:38:22 AM
Keep wiping until the sheet comes back clear.
:yes:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: DGuller on September 15, 2011, 11:55:10 AM
Quote from: Viking on September 15, 2011, 11:49:14 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 15, 2011, 11:35:30 AM
Yes, it's true.

I've always wonder how a bidet works. How the hell do you not wet every inch of your butt, pants, underwear & the floor.

I always thought the Bidet was for womens issues.. that was until I went to japan and used the robotic toilet seat.
Do robotic toilet seats help you pee? :unsure:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: The Brain on September 15, 2011, 12:03:06 PM
Let's see... I wipe my ass until it's clean.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Viking on September 15, 2011, 12:39:59 PM
what I want to know from bidet users. I've never seen bidets in public toilets south of the River Main Line, what do Bidet culture peoples do in public toilets where I have never seen bidets when they need to shit?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Viking on September 15, 2011, 12:41:29 PM
Quote from: DGuller on September 15, 2011, 11:55:10 AM
Quote from: Viking on September 15, 2011, 11:49:14 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 15, 2011, 11:35:30 AM
Yes, it's true.

I've always wonder how a bidet works. How the hell do you not wet every inch of your butt, pants, underwear & the floor.

I always thought the Bidet was for womens issues.. that was until I went to japan and used the robotic toilet seat.
Do robotic toilet seats help you pee? :unsure:

No, once you have done your business you press a button and a probe is extended into the center of the toilet bowl. This probe then shoots warm water up in a sweeping motion (creepy). Once this is finished hot air is blown up your ass to dry it (oddly nice).
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Martim Silva on September 15, 2011, 01:20:29 PM
Quote from: Valmy on September 15, 2011, 11:19:38 AM
Yep.  Though I do wash my hands afterwards.

:ph34r:

Wow.

I mean, just doing that really sounds... dirty. We are told that toilet paper is just to remove the majority of it, then the proper cleaning has to be done in the bidet, with soap and water.

Quote from: Viking
It does not follow, but cultures without bidets usually consider bidet equipped cultures to be unclean on the grounds that they are not known for daily showers and regular hand washing.

Unclean? We think the opposite. Most people do tend to shower (I prefer full immersion baths myself) daily. Hand washing should be quite regular, but I admit I saw quite a few people (all males) leaving the bathroom without washing their hands - I just thought of that as male sloppyness, and it boils down to individual preferences.

Quote from: Grey Fox
I've always wonder how a bidet works. How the hell do you not wet every inch of your butt, pants, underwear & the floor.

After the toilet, you move into the bidet and thouroughly wash your private parts and your butt with water and soap. Face towards the wall for the frontal bits, then turn and clean the rear. The skin is supposed to get wet.

To the side of the bidet there are special smaller towels to clean your privates and rear afther this exercise.

Usually adults have no problem avoiding major water spillage. It's hard to wet the pants - they are either fully removed for the exercise, or put to the side of a leg so as to not be on the way. Some water does go to the floor, but normal people soak it off with a sponge afterwards (I myself have absorbing floors in my bathrooms. Together with the internal exhaustors, any leaked water is gone in no time without any bother from me).

Quote from: Peter Wiggin
Keep wiping until the sheet comes back clear.

That's really not enough... there are bits of dirt that remain, even if any further scrubbing with the toilet paper does not yield any further results. Hence our use of bidets.

Quote from: Viking
I've never seen bidets in public toilets south of the River Main Line, what do Bidet culture peoples do in public toilets where I have never seen bidets when they need to shit?

Indeed, public toilets very rarely have them. Which is why they are used as a last resort for anything other than peeing.

What does happen afterwards is that we feel quite dirty after using them (yes, after wiping the butt with toilet paper until it comes out clean) and then go straight to our bidets as soon as we are at home, in order to properly clean ourselves.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: alfred russel on September 15, 2011, 01:29:11 PM
How is it that Europeans spend so much time cleaning their ass, but still smell so bad?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: The Brain on September 15, 2011, 01:30:23 PM
I wiped my ass 2 minutes ago.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Zoupa on September 15, 2011, 01:31:06 PM
I'm wiping my ass as you're reading this.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Slargos on September 15, 2011, 01:51:47 PM
i, too, am wiping my ass. eee pad ftw. :homestar:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
I'd like a bidet.  But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.  (Actually, there was a five day period recently and I was getting a little worried. : / )

My discipline is legendary.  I've used a public toilet for defecation thee times in the past decade.

I don't ordinarily wash my hands after urinating, because I don't touch anything other than my dick, which is clean, using my feet to flush, and so forth.  However, I will pretend to if there are other people in a public restroom.  But conversely to their assumptions, I assume they just whiz all over their hands and have no control.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:14:49 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.

:console:

You do realize this is directly related to the utter lack of fibre in your diet, don't you?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:20:11 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:14:49 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.

:console:

You do realize this is directly related to the utter lack of fibre in your diet, don't you?

I eat fiber.  I have Cracklin' Oat Bran.  It's a fine product.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:23:09 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:20:11 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:14:49 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.

:console:

You do realize this is directly related to the utter lack of fibre in your diet, don't you?

I eat fiber.  I have Cracklin' Oat Bran.  It's a fine product.

Then why do you only shit every 3-4 days? :hmm:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:36:26 PM
My guess is a thorough digestive system.

Why, what's normal?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: The Brain on September 15, 2011, 02:39:09 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
Since it's only about once every three or four days,

:hmm:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: dps on September 15, 2011, 03:01:36 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:23:09 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:20:11 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:14:49 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.

:console:

You do realize this is directly related to the utter lack of fibre in your diet, don't you?

I eat fiber.  I have Cracklin' Oat Bran.  It's a fine product.

Then why do you only shit every 3-4 days? :hmm:

I took his post to mean that he only showers every 3-4 days.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 03:02:57 PM
Quote from: dps on September 15, 2011, 03:01:36 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:23:09 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:20:11 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:14:49 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.

:console:

You do realize this is directly related to the utter lack of fibre in your diet, don't you?

I eat fiber.  I have Cracklin' Oat Bran.  It's a fine product.

Then why do you only shit every 3-4 days? :hmm:

I took his post to mean that he only showers every 3-4 days.

A possibility I had not considered. :hmm:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Grinning_Colossus on September 15, 2011, 03:05:33 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 15, 2011, 11:38:22 AM
Keep wiping until the sheet comes back clear.

Keep digging until you find some residue.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: DGuller on September 15, 2011, 03:32:27 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.
No shit?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 03:38:05 PM
Quote from: dps on September 15, 2011, 03:01:36 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:23:09 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:20:11 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:14:49 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.

:console:

You do realize this is directly related to the utter lack of fibre in your diet, don't you?

I eat fiber.  I have Cracklin' Oat Bran.  It's a fine product.

Then why do you only shit every 3-4 days? :hmm:

I took his post to mean that he only showers every 3-4 days.

No. <_<

Although lately, God knows what difference it would make.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Habbaku on September 15, 2011, 04:33:37 PM
I smell bullshit.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 04:48:32 PM
As someone coming from a non-bidet culture I think it is a great idea. I hate toilet setups where you cannot lock yourself in a room with a sink for this very reason.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 04:51:35 PM
Btw carrying moist wipes in your man-bag works wonders.  :)

I dont have the phobia about public toilets either.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: DGuller on September 15, 2011, 04:52:35 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 04:51:35 PM
Btw carrying moist wipes in your man-bag works wonders.  :)
Can they be used to wipe shit off as well?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: alfred russel on September 15, 2011, 04:53:56 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:23:09 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:20:11 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 15, 2011, 02:14:49 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 02:09:09 PM
But it wouldn't be too useful, since I try to time my shits so I take a shower directly afterward.  Since it's only about once every three or four days, this isn't very difficult to properly schedule.

:console:

You do realize this is directly related to the utter lack of fibre in your diet, don't you?

I eat fiber.  I have Cracklin' Oat Bran.  It's a fine product.

Then why do you only shit every 3-4 days? :hmm:

I'm guessing he doesn't get a lot of exercise.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: HVC on September 15, 2011, 05:15:25 PM
Quote from: Habbaku on September 15, 2011, 04:33:37 PM
I smell bullshit.
you wouldn't, if you used a bidet :contract:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 05:30:59 PM
Quote from: DGuller on September 15, 2011, 04:52:35 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 04:51:35 PM
Btw carrying moist wipes in your man-bag works wonders.  :)
Can they be used to wipe shit off as well?

:D

Speaking of which, an acquittance of mine once "came out" at a party by saying he often rubs one out at his office, in a toilet, and said that surely other people do it too. He was greeted by stone-cold silence.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: garbon on September 15, 2011, 05:32:42 PM
Quote from: alfred russel on September 15, 2011, 01:29:11 PM
How is it that Europeans spend so much time cleaning their ass, but still smell so bad?

+1
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Ed Anger on September 15, 2011, 05:34:59 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmemefolder.com%2Fthumb%2F598.jpg&hash=86dddbc16f198e4690a88f4d93d13cfdb7f3c148)
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: garbon on September 15, 2011, 05:36:09 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on September 15, 2011, 05:34:59 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmemefolder.com%2Fthumb%2F598.jpg&hash=86dddbc16f198e4690a88f4d93d13cfdb7f3c148)

MSil had a chat with the Venezuelan ambassador the other day and was laughing at America. :(
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 05:57:05 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 05:30:59 PM
Quote from: DGuller on September 15, 2011, 04:52:35 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 04:51:35 PM
Btw carrying moist wipes in your man-bag works wonders.  :)
Can they be used to wipe shit off as well?

:D

Speaking of which, an acquittance of mine once "came out" at a party by saying he often rubs one out at his office, in a toilet, and said that surely other people do it too. He was greeted by stone-cold silence.

I thought at first this was a malapropism, but on reflection...
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Siege on September 15, 2011, 06:20:57 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 04:51:35 PM
I dont have the phobia about public toilets either.

Of course not. That's where you get your sex from random people.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Malthus on September 15, 2011, 06:34:39 PM
Quote from: garbon on September 15, 2011, 05:36:09 PM

MSil had a chat with the Venezuelan ambassador the other day and was laughing at America. :(

While helping him to get his ass extra-clean?
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: garbon on September 15, 2011, 06:37:32 PM
Quote from: Malthus on September 15, 2011, 06:34:39 PM
Quote from: garbon on September 15, 2011, 05:36:09 PM

MSil had a chat with the Venezuelan ambassador the other day and was laughing at America. :(

While helping him to get his ass extra-clean?

That's not my story to tell. :secret:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: garbon on September 15, 2011, 06:38:08 PM
Quote from: Siege on September 15, 2011, 06:20:57 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 04:51:35 PM
I dont have the phobia about public toilets either.

Of course not. That's where you get your sex from random people.

Fun but doing it around public toilets sounds rather gross.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Eddie Teach on September 15, 2011, 06:39:02 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on September 15, 2011, 05:57:05 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 15, 2011, 05:30:59 PM
Speaking of which, an acquittance of mine once "came out" at a party by saying he often rubs one out at his office, in a toilet, and said that surely other people do it too. He was greeted by stone-cold silence.

I thought at first this was a malapropism, but on reflection...

Marty's not a criminal lawyer. At least not usually.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Josquius on September 15, 2011, 09:46:40 PM
The thought of bidets makes me shudder. I`ve never used that function on my loo yet.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Ideologue on September 16, 2011, 02:41:27 AM
I ate a bunch of my Cracklin' Oat Bran at your suggestion, Beeb, and now my stomach hurts.  Fiber is good for you?  Yeah, right.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Brazen on September 16, 2011, 04:19:51 AM
Though we're a European nation of the non-bidet variety I feel unclean with loo roll alone. I have moist toilet wipes at home and will go to elaborate lengths to moisten some bog paper for the final sweep when out.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: 11B4V on September 16, 2011, 05:39:27 AM
I thought the title read, "Asswhipping". My bad.
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: Caliga on September 16, 2011, 06:27:14 AM
This thread smells like another Martim setup to eventually conclude with "America sucks". :)
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: garbon on September 16, 2011, 06:56:44 AM
Quote from: Caliga on September 16, 2011, 06:27:14 AM
This thread smells like another Martim setup to eventually conclude with "America sucks". :)

:contract:
Title: Re: Question about asswiping
Post by: merithyn on September 16, 2011, 10:35:58 AM
Quote from: Caliga on September 16, 2011, 06:27:14 AM
This thread smells like another Martim setup to eventually conclude with "America sucks". :)

:yes: