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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: mongers on August 11, 2011, 05:57:01 PM

Title: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: mongers on August 11, 2011, 05:57:01 PM
This issue came up elsewhere, so I thought I'd open a thread dealing with wider subject of domestic violence in your country.

When someone within your social class or group of friends uses domestic violence or the threat of it, and this becomes know, how do people typically react and how do you behave towards the perpetrator ?
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ed Anger on August 11, 2011, 05:58:33 PM
I have my own special way of dealing with wife beaters.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 11, 2011, 06:00:07 PM
Most people tend to mind their own business.  And chicks that let themselves get beat usually allow it for various textbook abandonment issues, stupidity or because they like the drama.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Siege on August 11, 2011, 06:00:47 PM
In my culture a man that hits a woman is the lowest scum of the earth.
He will also get beat the shit out by his wife's brothers, and his brothers will not stop the beating becuase he deserves it.

Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:03:21 PM
I represented one.  Uh, bit of a waste of carbon, dumb as a sack of hammers, but he wasn't guilty.

A friend of mine from school may be in an abusive marriage (it's obviously emotionally abusive, but there's not been any direct signs of physical abuse--psychological signs are a different story).  I really had no idea what to do about it short of recommend she not live with the guy, and maybe go back in time and not have three kids with him.  She wasn't a close friend, and I never met her husband.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Slargos on August 11, 2011, 06:05:35 PM
This is one of the biggest problems in Scandinavian culture, IMO. There's a lot of don't ask, don't tell going on.

Cops that beat their wives is especially vicious, since there's a culture of protecting the miscreants and while wifebeating is usually prosecuted relatively harshly when it's actually reported, this is not the case when the offender is a cop.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Slargos on August 11, 2011, 06:11:49 PM
Quote from: Siege on August 11, 2011, 06:00:47 PM
In my culture a man that hits a woman is the lowest scum of the earth.
He will also get beat the shit out by his wife's brothers, and his brothers will not stop the beating becuase he deserves it.

One of the few saving graces of the arabs.

Of course, I've only physically intervened once when a woman was manhandled by her boyfriend, and it ended up with her attempting to kick me in the balls. Started with punching me in the nose and got a glancing blow on the nads before I could shake my surprise off and raise my fist to correct her.

Fortunately, my buddies pulled me away before I could give her a taste of knuckle sandwich, which I guess was pretty lucky all things considered. I suppose in retrospect she probably had it coming and I should've just let the guy police the bitch at his own leisure..

The notion that you shouldn't hit women no matter what is moronic.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Eddie Teach on August 11, 2011, 06:12:45 PM
None of my business, unless the woman's a relative.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Slargos on August 11, 2011, 06:13:24 PM
Quote from: mongers on August 11, 2011, 06:11:41 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 11, 2011, 06:00:07 PM
Most people tend to mind their own business.  And chicks that let themselves get beat usually allow it for various textbook abandonment issues, stupidity or because they like the drama.

All good sound, experienced reasoning, but I started the thread as I was also thinking about a particular instance and a far as I know nothing like that has yet happened to her. 

However I now know about his form, she doesn't, but because of the rather 'fucked up' shared history she and I have, I am extremely reluctant to give her the information, it could well be not believed, could well cause problems and I'm not 100% sure he's still is or was with her.  :hmm:

Dude, some bitches simply be tripping.

Unless you know for a fact that she's being abused, don't let the manipulative whorebag drag you into her drama.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:13:44 PM
Quote from: Slargos on August 11, 2011, 06:11:49 PM
Quote from: Siege on August 11, 2011, 06:00:47 PM
In my culture a man that hits a woman is the lowest scum of the earth.
He will also get beat the shit out by his wife's brothers, and his brothers will not stop the beating becuase he deserves it.

One of the few saving graces of the arabs.

Of course, I've only physically intervened once when a woman was manhandled by her boyfriend, and it ended up with her attempting to kick me in the balls. Started with punching me in the nose and got a glancing blow on the nads before I could shake my surprise off and raise my fist to correct her.

Yeah, I wouldn't bother helping unless I was in a violent mood anyway, ever since I got a boxcutter pulled on me while a pair of castrati Mormon witnesses watched and didn't do anything, and the cop who finally showed up evidently didn't want assault paperwork to clutter up his day.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Viking on August 11, 2011, 06:13:59 PM
Denial is a possibility if you tell her what you think about him.

But, as I said on facebook, there is a moral onus on you to tell her what you know, regardless of how much you dislike her.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ed Anger on August 11, 2011, 06:14:47 PM
Quote from: Slargos on August 11, 2011, 06:11:49 PM
Quote from: Siege on August 11, 2011, 06:00:47 PM
In my culture a man that hits a woman is the lowest scum of the earth.
He will also get beat the shit out by his wife's brothers, and his brothers will not stop the beating becuase he deserves it.

One of the few saving graces of the arabs.

Of course, I've only physically intervened once when a woman was manhandled by her boyfriend, and it ended up with her attempting to kick me in the balls. Started with punching me in the nose and got a glancing blow on the nads before I could shake my surprise off and raise my fist to correct her.

Fortunately, my buddies pulled me away before I could give her a taste of knuckle sandwich, which I guess was pretty lucky all things considered. I suppose in retrospect she probably had it coming and I should've just let the guy police the bitch at his own leisure..

The notion that you shouldn't hit women no matter what is moronic.

Domestic violence calls are dreaded by cops as the victim will go after the cops sometimes. Pookie loves her, fo sho.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:15:04 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:03:21 PM
I represented one.  Uh, bit of a waste of carbon, dumb as a sack of hammers, but he wasn't guilty.

A friend of mine from school may be in an abusive marriage (it's obviously emotionally abusive, but there's not been any direct signs of physical abuse--psychological signs are a different story).  I really had no idea what to do about it short of recommend she not live with the guy, and maybe go back in time and not have three kids with him.  She wasn't a close friend, and I never met her husband.

Er, how are you representing one when you haven't passed the bar?
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:16:35 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:15:04 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:03:21 PM
I represented one.  Uh, bit of a waste of carbon, dumb as a sack of hammers, but he wasn't guilty.

A friend of mine from school may be in an abusive marriage (it's obviously emotionally abusive, but there's not been any direct signs of physical abuse--psychological signs are a different story).  I really had no idea what to do about it short of recommend she not live with the guy, and maybe go back in time and not have three kids with him.  She wasn't a close friend, and I never met her husband.

Er, how are you representing one when you haven't passed the bar?

South Carolina Appellate Rule 401.  Criminal practice clinic.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Slargos on August 11, 2011, 06:17:23 PM
Quote from: mongers on August 11, 2011, 06:15:41 PM
Quote from: Slargos on August 11, 2011, 06:13:24 PM
Quote from: mongers on August 11, 2011, 06:11:41 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 11, 2011, 06:00:07 PM
Most people tend to mind their own business.  And chicks that let themselves get beat usually allow it for various textbook abandonment issues, stupidity or because they like the drama.

All good sound, experienced reasoning, but I started the thread as I was also thinking about a particular instance and a far as I know nothing like that has yet happened to her. 

However I now know about his form, she doesn't, but because of the rather 'fucked up' shared history she and I have, I am extremely reluctant to give her the information, it could well be not believed, could well cause problems and I'm not 100% sure he's still is or was with her.  :hmm:

Dude, some bitches simply be tripping.

Unless you know for a fact that she's being abused, don't let the manipulative whorebag drag you into her drama.

Nope the situation is probably the reverse of this, If I've got it wrong the only person you sentence refers to is probably me.   :hmm:

I am very tired atm and not really thinking clearly, but I am really confused now, I will admit.  :D
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:18:02 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:16:35 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:15:04 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:03:21 PM
I represented one.  Uh, bit of a waste of carbon, dumb as a sack of hammers, but he wasn't guilty.

A friend of mine from school may be in an abusive marriage (it's obviously emotionally abusive, but there's not been any direct signs of physical abuse--psychological signs are a different story).  I really had no idea what to do about it short of recommend she not live with the guy, and maybe go back in time and not have three kids with him.  She wasn't a close friend, and I never met her husband.

Er, how are you representing one when you haven't passed the bar?

South Carolina Appellate Rule 401.  Criminal practice clinic.

Do they actually pay you for this?
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:20:07 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:18:02 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:16:35 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:15:04 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:03:21 PM
I represented one.  Uh, bit of a waste of carbon, dumb as a sack of hammers, but he wasn't guilty.

A friend of mine from school may be in an abusive marriage (it's obviously emotionally abusive, but there's not been any direct signs of physical abuse--psychological signs are a different story).  I really had no idea what to do about it short of recommend she not live with the guy, and maybe go back in time and not have three kids with him.  She wasn't a close friend, and I never met her husband.

Er, how are you representing one when you haven't passed the bar?

South Carolina Appellate Rule 401.  Criminal practice clinic.

Do they actually pay you for this?

Nope, per section (d)(4) of the rule.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: MadImmortalMan on August 11, 2011, 06:20:51 PM
The bar is a racket. You did the work, you should get paid.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:21:48 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on August 11, 2011, 06:20:51 PM
The bar is a racket. You did the work, you should get paid.


I'm not sure I'd want someone to represent me who hasn't proven he knows what he's doing.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:23:13 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on August 11, 2011, 06:20:51 PM
The bar is a racket. You did the work, you should get paid.

I was paid in experience. :smarty:

Yes, I'd rather be paid in money.

Quote from: RazI'm not sure I'd want someone to represent me who hasn't proven he knows what he's doing.

Yeah, you do get what you pay for.  Although we had a supervising (real) attorney, of course.  Couldn't even show up to court without him.

Actually don't know what we'd have done if he'd gotten into a car accident or something. :shrug:  We'd already continued the case for six months when my client got arrested in another county on the eve of his original trial. :lol:
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:25:02 PM
Did you win the case at least?
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:25:33 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:25:02 PM
Did you win the case at least?

Yes.  That's why he isn't guilty. :)
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 11, 2011, 06:26:13 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:18:02 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:16:35 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 06:15:04 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:03:21 PM
I represented one.  Uh, bit of a waste of carbon, dumb as a sack of hammers, but he wasn't guilty.

A friend of mine from school may be in an abusive marriage (it's obviously emotionally abusive, but there's not been any direct signs of physical abuse--psychological signs are a different story).  I really had no idea what to do about it short of recommend she not live with the guy, and maybe go back in time and not have three kids with him.  She wasn't a close friend, and I never met her husband.

Er, how are you representing one when you haven't passed the bar?

South Carolina Appellate Rule 401.  Criminal practice clinic.

Do they actually pay you for this?

Think of it as the senior internship for lawyers, with oversight.  Gotta practice on somebody.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 06:33:00 PM
Also, the clients for the CPC are all indigent.  So their options are pro se, the regular public defender, or (if they're special and got lucky) us.

I can about guarantee that he was better off with us than a PD.  Not a knock on them, but I had one client, the PD has, I dunno, a hundred.

Like Money sez, you gotta practice on somebody.  Like I said, they're indigent; so think of it like cadavers at a medical school.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: dps on August 11, 2011, 07:56:03 PM
Pretty much everyone I know who has ever talked about the subject detests wife beaters, but other than giving the victim the standard advice to leave the guy and press charges, no body wants to get involved.  And the advice is given basically pro forma, because everyone who has become aware of a domestic violence situation and tried to give the victim advice or help out has found out that there's nothing that you really can do, because the victims won't follow the advice and help themselves.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: derspiess on August 11, 2011, 08:28:15 PM
To answer the OP, I've never known anyone or of anyone involved with domestic violence. 
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 08:41:10 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 11, 2011, 06:26:13 PM


Think of it as the senior internship for lawyers, with oversight.  Gotta practice on somebody.

I was hoping they would practice on corpses.  Like doctors.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Ideologue on August 11, 2011, 09:07:12 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 08:41:10 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 11, 2011, 06:26:13 PM


Think of it as the senior internship for lawyers, with oversight.  Gotta practice on somebody.

I was hoping they would practice on corpses.  Like doctors.

QuoteLike Money sez, you gotta practice on somebody.  Like I said, they're indigent; so think of it like cadavers at a medical school.

WTF.  Don't steal my material.
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: Razgovory on August 11, 2011, 09:09:14 PM
You edited that in after I posted!
Title: Re: Attitudes / Reactions To Domestic Violence, Within Your Social Group and Country
Post by: OttoVonBismarck on August 11, 2011, 09:21:49 PM
My wife understands I am only correcting improper behaviors.