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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 02:53:05 PM

Title: TBR
Post by: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 02:53:05 PM
Bye.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 02:54:44 PM
1. No.

2. Doing that is not really having sex.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Sophie Scholl on May 04, 2011, 02:55:37 PM
 :nelson:  Guess you shouldn't have violated the rules in the past, eh?  Sucker.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 02:56:15 PM
Why not send a PM to the people you want the advice from?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Barrister on May 04, 2011, 02:56:35 PM
What is this TBR you speak of? :unsure:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Josquius on May 04, 2011, 02:56:51 PM
Don't trust us eh?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 02:57:10 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sadanduseless.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F06%2F679.jpg&hash=d24d6e7e155e04ecd0aee5f7431c878bc92359db)
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Barrister on May 04, 2011, 02:59:14 PM
Oh.. The Back Room.

We got rid of it shortly after you were kicked out.  Nobody was really using it any more.

So there's no secret sub-forum that you don't have access to (other than the Mod Cave). :)
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Sophie Scholl on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:00:52 PM
Just ask the open forum. How bad can it be?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:04:30 PM
PM me the juicy details and I'll see if I can help you. You trust me, right? :)
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:05:53 PM
I know the details. :yeah:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:06:24 PM
You're doing it wrong.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:06:34 PM
I find the idea of TBR offensive, there should be no secrets between us.  I demand to be made a member as a compensation.  :mad:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:07:23 PM
Damn you Martinus, I wanted to tell everyone you have AIDS.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:07:28 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 03:08:00 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:06:34 PM
I find the idea of TBR offensive, there should be no secrets between us.  I demand to be made a member as a compensation.  :mad:

No dogs or Slavs allowed
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 03:08:33 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).
Tell him the truth?  If he's mature/not stupid he ought to understand.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:08:52 PM
http://youtu.be/6szE_qmzavQ

EVERYONE HAS AIDS
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:09:04 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

Just tell him straight (:bleeding:) up. "It's not you, it's the HIV" I'm sure he gets that a lot and should be used to it.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Barrister on May 04, 2011, 03:11:07 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:08:28 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:07:28 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:

What would you do?

It's a version of "it's not you, it's me".  You apologize that you aren't mature enough to be able to deal with it, but, well, you aren't.

It's still rough, but that's about the most decent way to deal with it.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:11:30 PM
Less shitty than if you contract HIV from him.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:12:20 PM
Quote from: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:11:30 PM
Less shitty than if you contract HIV from him.

He finds out tomorrow. I'll be sure to inform everyone once I have word. :)
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:15:11 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 04, 2011, 03:08:00 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:06:34 PM
I find the idea of TBR offensive, there should be no secrets between us.  I demand to be made a member as a compensation.  :mad:

No dogs or Slavs allowed
That racist!   :mad:  And specieist!  :mad:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Camerus on May 04, 2011, 03:16:04 PM
Lots of people (including myself) wouldn't want a relationship with an HIV positive partner.  Just politely tell him how you feel.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Slargos on May 04, 2011, 03:16:45 PM
Quote from: Barrister on May 04, 2011, 03:11:07 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:08:28 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:07:28 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:

What would you do?

It's a version of "it's not you, it's me".  You apologize that you aren't mature enough to be able to deal with it, but, well, you aren't.

It's still rough, but that's about the most decent way to deal with it.

Now, see, that is fucking ridiculous. HIV is still a big enough deal that it shouldn't be "selfish" or "immature" to want to avoid the risk of contamination above and beyond existing protection.

If I caught the fag-disease, and my brother no longer wanted me around his kids, it would break my heart but I would goddamned well respect his fear and I certainly wouldn't resent him for it.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Sophie Scholl on May 04, 2011, 03:17:29 PM
Sorry for being off on what the issue is, but that used to be a constant one.  As to the issue at hand, I'd have to go with the rest of The Mob and advocate telling him.  Being honest with him will allow the issue to resolve itself naturally and in my opinion have the least likely chance of negative repercussions.  Sometimes it's tough making the call to do the right thing, but that doesn't make it any less necessary.  You owe it to yourself and to him to come clean about your reasoning, and I think that ultimately you'll thank yourself for doing so.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:17:42 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:08:28 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:07:28 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:00:31 PM
No, you shouldn't get back together with your boy toy that uses you for your money for the 500th time.  You will anyway though, no matter what anyone says to you in TBR, via PM, or via IM.

Thanks for being a jerk.

No, I got in touch recently with someone I used to date long time ago and it fell through, although I was really into him. The problem is, now he is HIV positive. I don't have HIV (we never did anything "risky") and I am going tested to make sure anyway (I get tested once or twice per year anyway so I don't really fear it), but I just can't psychologically cope with being with someone who is HIV positive - I know there are people out there living with a HIV positive partner but my hypochondria would kill me. So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).

How could there be a nice way to tell someone that you won't date/sleep with them because they are positive? :huh:

What would you do?

I'd be seeing him so the issue wouldn't come up.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Grey Fox on May 04, 2011, 03:17:59 PM
See? You don't need TBR to get advice.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:18:31 PM
Marcin just got his test results back.

IT'S AIDS!
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 03:18:43 PM
Can't you just be friends?  Gay dudes can be friends and not have to fuck... or so I've heard. :hmm:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:19:20 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:15:41 PM
Yeah well. True. However - and this probably have no bearing on my decision, but anyway - how do people here feel about a situation like this? Do most people react like Valmy or is this reaction born out of ignorance? I hear people who live with HIV positive partners and unless you share needles or engage in unprotected anal or oral sex, you can't get it so is there really a fear of contracting HIV from your partner out of these situations?

Frankly I would not want a partner that I could not have unprotected sex with.  But it is a personal preference.  It is not exactly a noble thing but we all cannot be noble all the time.  After all we reject people as sexual partners for far more petty reasons than getting a horrible disease and do not feel bad about it.

That is what this is about right?  Not simply being friends with the guy?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Slargos on May 04, 2011, 03:19:53 PM
Quote from: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 03:18:43 PM
Can't you just be friends?  Gay dudes can be friends and not have to fuck... or so I've heard. :hmm:

:rolleyes:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmontages.no%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F03%2Fwhen-harry-met-sally.jpg&hash=e05c9beed8877e5435fd8249c04b9ef3c618cb19)

Now imagine Sal is a tranny, and there you go.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:20:54 PM
Quote from: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:18:31 PM
Marcin just got his test results back.

IT'S AIDS!

You dick :lol:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 03:21:01 PM
"I'll have what the Swedish nazi kitchen salesman is having."
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:22:26 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:21:12 PM
Quote from: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 03:18:43 PM
Can't you just be friends?  Gay dudes can be friends and not have to fuck... or so I've heard. :hmm:

Yeah, we will still be friends. But then, from experience, if you are into someone and they tell you that you should be just friends, it rarely ends up that way. I was on the receiving end once and told that once to someone - each time, it ended up in resentment.

Aren't you always on the receiving end?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:23:55 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:22:07 PM
I wonder what I would do if I tested HIV positive, to be honest. It's not such a death sentence these days, but it is still shitty.

Well yeah getting herpes is not a death sentence either but I sure am not having sex with somebody who has it.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Slargos on May 04, 2011, 03:25:19 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:22:56 PM
Quote from: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:22:26 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:21:12 PM
Quote from: Caliga on May 04, 2011, 03:18:43 PM
Can't you just be friends?  Gay dudes can be friends and not have to fuck... or so I've heard. :hmm:

Yeah, we will still be friends. But then, from experience, if you are into someone and they tell you that you should be just friends, it rarely ends up that way. I was on the receiving end once and told that once to someone - each time, it ended up in resentment.

Aren't you always on the receiving end?

Nope. Believe it or not but I had guys fall in love with me, and I wasn't into them. :P

He was making teh funneh Catcher comment.  :secret:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:25:24 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:19:42 PM
Ok. That's what I was looking for. Could you elaborate? I admit I am quite ignorant and the internet/google is not the best place to look for the information as it can be so contradictory. You probably know more about the issue/are better educated than other people who have posted.

Well I don't suffer from hypochondria. :P  But I guess I figure HIV is pretty prevalent in this community and I always take the precautions that I can.  However, given that many positive individuals don't state that they are positive, it seems odd to me to sleep with the liars but not with the honest ones.  The risk is still there even if not admitted. 

That said though, if a person isn't comfortable with sleeping with people they know to have HIV (/have a relationship with someone with a eventually debilitating disease), they should be free to make that choice as well.  I'd suggest, as has been said on here, simply to let him know the truth. It won't be nice and easy, but it is what it is.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Habbaku on May 04, 2011, 03:25:57 PM
So, Martinus wants back into TBR, yet still won't apologize?

:lol:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:28:15 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:24:59 PM
Considering about 40-60% of the adult populace has herpes, you probably already had. It is the most common cause of cervix cancer (and throat and anus cancer for those of us into these things).

Maybe but I have not had sex with that many people :blush:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: MadImmortalMan on May 04, 2011, 03:29:06 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:

If you promise to do my taxes next year.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 04, 2011, 03:29:14 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:

I am not sure if I can tolerate you posting all that Obama porn.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:30:30 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:

You and me can have a mini-TBR through PMs. It will be like the kids' zoo but instead of little cuddly animals it will have little personal questions and revelations. :)
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Slargos on May 04, 2011, 03:31:02 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.cheezburger.com%2Fcompletestore%2F2011%2F1%2F14%2F1362f821-9d29-4b30-b26c-d4f112dd2d44.jpg&hash=f3c9d35fc2727ccee083028a32bd00895804745a)
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:31:24 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:29:56 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:

I thought I already apologized. If not, then so I'm sorry if I broke any rules.

You must walk to Canasta.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:32:37 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:32:04 PM
Quote from: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:31:24 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:29:56 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:

I thought I already apologized. If not, then so I'm sorry if I broke any rules.

You must walk to Canasta.

Does it involve sucking toes? :unsure:

*sigh* I'm sure it will.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:35:39 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on May 04, 2011, 03:29:06 PM
Quote from: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:28:30 PM
Can I get into TBR if I apologize on behalf of Martinus? :unsure:

If you promise to do my taxes next year.
Dude, I didn't even do my own taxes yet for this year.  Do you really want me to do your taxes in any year?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Barrister on May 04, 2011, 03:36:22 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:29:12 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:25:24 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:19:42 PM
Ok. That's what I was looking for. Could you elaborate? I admit I am quite ignorant and the internet/google is not the best place to look for the information as it can be so contradictory. You probably know more about the issue/are better educated than other people who have posted.

Well I don't suffer from hypochondria. :P  But I guess I figure HIV is pretty prevalent in this community and I always take the precautions that I can.  However, given that many positive individuals don't state that they are positive, it seems odd to me to sleep with the liars but not with the honest ones.  The risk is still there even if not admitted. 

That said though, if a person isn't comfortable with sleeping with people they know to have HIV (/have a relationship with someone with a eventually debilitating disease), they should be free to make that choice as well.  I'd suggest, as has been said on here, simply to let him know the truth. It won't be nice and easy, but it is what it is.

Well, I am still a bit shell-shocked about it. The thing is, until your post, all the reactions I was getting (not just here but also from other people, including my parents) were along the lines "WTF OF COURSE you should NOT have a relationship with him! ARE YOU MAD?!", so I thought I'm the weird one for even considering it.

To be honest, I the way you typed your posts it sounded as if you'd already made up your mind not to see the guy, and were merely wondering how to tell him.

For me if a woman I just met said she had AIDS I would not pursue a relationship with her.  If my wife suddenly contracted AIDS of course I would stay with her.

It's up to you where on that kind of continuum your relationship with this fellow falls.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: dps on May 04, 2011, 03:37:41 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:22:07 PM
Quote from: Fireblade on May 04, 2011, 03:18:31 PM
Marcin just got his test results back.

IT'S AIDS!

I wonder what I would do if I tested HIV positive, to be honest. It's not such a death sentence these days, but it is still shitty.

I know what you'd do--you'd start a thread here.

Not just joking, you would.  And you should.  We're all frinds here.  Kinda, in a really twisted, disfunctional way, at least.

And yeah, if I found out that I had cancer or the like, I'd start a thread here too.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Sophie Scholl on May 04, 2011, 03:39:03 PM
Quote from: dps on May 04, 2011, 03:37:41 PM
And yeah, if I found out that I had cancer or the like, I'd start a thread here too.
Norgy style?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Slargos on May 04, 2011, 03:42:23 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:39:03 PM
Quote from: dps on May 04, 2011, 03:37:41 PM
And yeah, if I found out that I had cancer or the like, I'd start a thread here too.
Norgy style?

:pinch:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: DGuller on May 04, 2011, 03:50:28 PM
If I had cancer, I sure would start a thread while I still had time.  You sick fucks wouldn't even wonder for years where I went otherwise.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 03:54:36 PM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:39:03 PM
Quote from: dps on May 04, 2011, 03:37:41 PM
And yeah, if I found out that I had cancer or the like, I'd start a thread here too.
Norgy style?

:D
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Habbaku on May 04, 2011, 03:54:51 PM
DG, the Party Committee under my direction is reviewing your case.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 04, 2011, 04:01:03 PM
I'm reviewing my navel.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Habbaku on May 04, 2011, 04:09:23 PM
Stop gazin'.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Razgovory on May 04, 2011, 04:20:06 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:36:38 PM
My accountant did my taxes this year. I got a $250 refund.  :cool:

You are now the third richest man in Poland.  Congrats.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 04, 2011, 04:24:25 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:29:12 PM
Quote from: garbon on May 04, 2011, 03:25:24 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:19:42 PM
Ok. That's what I was looking for. Could you elaborate? I admit I am quite ignorant and the internet/google is not the best place to look for the information as it can be so contradictory. You probably know more about the issue/are better educated than other people who have posted.

Well I don't suffer from hypochondria. :P  But I guess I figure HIV is pretty prevalent in this community and I always take the precautions that I can.  However, given that many positive individuals don't state that they are positive, it seems odd to me to sleep with the liars but not with the honest ones.  The risk is still there even if not admitted. 

That said though, if a person isn't comfortable with sleeping with people they know to have HIV (/have a relationship with someone with a eventually debilitating disease), they should be free to make that choice as well.  I'd suggest, as has been said on here, simply to let him know the truth. It won't be nice and easy, but it is what it is.

Well, I am still a bit shell-shocked about it. The thing is, until your post, all the reactions I was getting (not just here but also from other people, including my parents) were along the lines "WTF OF COURSE you should NOT have a relationship with him! ARE YOU MAD?!", so I thought I'm the weird one for even considering it.

That's probably because most people aren't in a situation where a high percent of possible partners have HIV.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Minsky Moment on May 04, 2011, 06:23:59 PM
Is TBR back up?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Josquius on May 04, 2011, 06:40:11 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:10:44 PM
Yeah, well, I feel sorry for him. And I thought I wouldn't be *that* guy when I watched Queer As Folk, as dumb and naive as it sounds (there is a character there in a long term relationship with a HIV positive partner).

How does that work?
Especially in the days before gay marriage (marriage kills sex apparently :p).
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Jacob on May 04, 2011, 06:50:53 PM
Quote from: The Minsky Moment on May 04, 2011, 06:23:59 PM
Is TBR back up?

I don't think so.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 04, 2011, 08:46:58 PM
Quote from: Tyr on May 04, 2011, 06:40:11 PM
How does that work?

:unsure:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: HisMajestyBOB on May 04, 2011, 10:49:56 PM
I think I lost my TBR access when the forums were reset.
Though TBH it's not really a big deal to me.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Brazen on May 05, 2011, 03:10:29 AM
Mart, I thought you had a regular partner. Or two.

Don't do what you don't feel comfortable with. You'd basically have to maintain the same level of caution you would with a new partner forever and not only would it feed your hypochondria, you'd never be able to get properly intimate.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Brazen on May 05, 2011, 03:11:45 AM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:39:03 PM
Norgy style?
Perhaps "Norwegian cancer" should enter the urban dictionary as slang for alcoholism.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Viking on May 05, 2011, 05:41:39 AM
Quote from: Brazen on May 05, 2011, 03:11:45 AM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:39:03 PM
Norgy style?
Perhaps "Norwegian cancer" should enter the urban dictionary as slang for alcoholism.

I'd pick other pathologies.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Slargos on May 05, 2011, 05:42:23 AM
Quote from: Brazen on May 05, 2011, 03:11:45 AM
Quote from: Benedict Arnold on May 04, 2011, 03:39:03 PM
Norgy style?
Perhaps "Norwegian cancer" should enter the urban dictionary as slang for alcoholism.

:lol:

Uncool.  :lol:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 05, 2011, 06:44:23 AM
Quote from: Brazen on May 05, 2011, 03:10:29 AM
you'd never be able to get properly intimate.

?

Oh is an uncovered penis up your ass what you consider properly intimate?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Valmy on May 05, 2011, 07:41:38 AM
Quote from: garbon on May 05, 2011, 06:44:23 AM
Oh is an uncovered penis up your ass what you consider properly intimate?

I think she means his phobia will be an emotional barrier.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 05, 2011, 08:19:50 AM
Quote from: Valmy on May 05, 2011, 07:41:38 AM
Quote from: garbon on May 05, 2011, 06:44:23 AM
Oh is an uncovered penis up your ass what you consider properly intimate?

I think she means his phobia will be an emotional barrier.

Maybe, although she said "get" not "feel" which suggested to me a physical act.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Capetan Mihali on May 05, 2011, 09:07:09 AM
Hmmm, I ended up in a YouTube spiral a few nights ago watching some documentaries exploring to what extent "bugchasing" is a real phenomenon in the US and UK.  The sunnier and more relevant aspect was that there were a lot of interviews with negative/positive couples talking about HIV etc. and the issue of getting infected didn't come up once.  The real strain on the relationships was the confrontation with mortality, the worry about the positive partner getting really sick, etc.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: dps on May 05, 2011, 09:47:55 AM
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on May 05, 2011, 09:07:09 AM
Hmmm, I ended up in a YouTube spiral a few nights ago watching some documentaries exploring to what extent "bugchasing" is a real phenomenon in the US and UK.  The sunnier and more relevant aspect was that there were a lot of interviews with negative/positive couples talking about HIV etc. and the issue of getting infected didn't come up once.  The real strain on the relationships was the confrontation with mortality, the worry about the positive partner getting really sick, etc.

I don't mean this to be mean-spirited or flip, but Marty, based on his Languish persona at least, doesn't seem like the type who'd be willing to care for a seriously ill partner.

Granted, based just on our Languish personas, that could be said of many of us.  But if you were to make a list of the posters who would be the most unwilling, he'd be high on the list.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: dps on May 05, 2011, 10:47:54 AM
Quote from: Martinus on May 05, 2011, 10:10:09 AM
Quote from: dps on May 05, 2011, 09:47:55 AM
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on May 05, 2011, 09:07:09 AM
Hmmm, I ended up in a YouTube spiral a few nights ago watching some documentaries exploring to what extent "bugchasing" is a real phenomenon in the US and UK.  The sunnier and more relevant aspect was that there were a lot of interviews with negative/positive couples talking about HIV etc. and the issue of getting infected didn't come up once.  The real strain on the relationships was the confrontation with mortality, the worry about the positive partner getting really sick, etc.

I don't mean this to be mean-spirited or flip, but Marty, based on his Languish persona at least, doesn't seem like the type who'd be willing to care for a seriously ill partner.

Granted, based just on our Languish personas, that could be said of many of us.  But if you were to make a list of the posters who would be the most unwilling, he'd be high on the list.

*shrug* I guess you are wrong.

Well, good for you.

People who have met you outside of Languish have said that your RL personality isn't all that much like your Languish personality, which is why I qualified my remarks as being about your Languish personality.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: The Brain on May 05, 2011, 11:00:49 AM
Quote from: dps on May 05, 2011, 09:47:55 AM
I don't mean this to be mean-spirited or flip,

ban
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Razgovory on May 05, 2011, 11:08:55 AM
Quote from: Martinus on May 05, 2011, 10:10:09 AM
Quote from: dps on May 05, 2011, 09:47:55 AM
Quote from: Capetan Mihali on May 05, 2011, 09:07:09 AM
Hmmm, I ended up in a YouTube spiral a few nights ago watching some documentaries exploring to what extent "bugchasing" is a real phenomenon in the US and UK.  The sunnier and more relevant aspect was that there were a lot of interviews with negative/positive couples talking about HIV etc. and the issue of getting infected didn't come up once.  The real strain on the relationships was the confrontation with mortality, the worry about the positive partner getting really sick, etc.

I don't mean this to be mean-spirited or flip, but Marty, based on his Languish persona at least, doesn't seem like the type who'd be willing to care for a seriously ill partner.

Granted, based just on our Languish personas, that could be said of many of us.  But if you were to make a list of the posters who would be the most unwilling, he'd be high on the list.

*shrug* I guess you are wrong.

I hope so.  It would be nice to know you aren't that shallow in real life.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Grallon on May 05, 2011, 12:07:00 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
...So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).


Tell him just that - your hypocondria would kill you if this goes anywhere beyond friendship... 

However this will be followed by vague assurances you 2 will remain friends, a couple of meet ups for coffee then less and less contacts until you read in the papers he was found hanged in his apartment.

Do you really want that on your conscience?






Just ditch him already!




G.
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 05, 2011, 01:23:37 PM
Quote from: Grallon on May 05, 2011, 12:07:00 PM
Quote from: Martinus on May 04, 2011, 03:06:26 PM
...So I am looking for an advice how to tell him that (he was honest with me so I don't want to hurt his feelings).


Tell him just that - your hypocondria would kill you if this goes anywhere beyond friendship... 

However this will be followed by vague assurances you 2 will remain friends, a couple of meet ups for coffee then less and less contacts until you read in the papers he was found hanged in his apartment.

Do you really want that on your conscience?






Just ditch him already!




G.

Why would he hang himself? Let alone over Marti? :huh:
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Grey Fox on May 05, 2011, 01:49:26 PM
Freaky sex?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: garbon on May 05, 2011, 02:08:31 PM
Carradine?
Title: Re: TBR
Post by: Zoupa on May 05, 2011, 03:29:22 PM
Five Pointed Palm Exploding Heart Technique?