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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Savonarola on August 06, 2009, 11:34:45 AM

Title: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Savonarola on August 06, 2009, 11:34:45 AM
G.I. Joe is the codename for America's daring, highly trained, special mission force.
Its purpose: To defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.


QuoteBad Sign? Critics Not Allowed 'G.I. Joe' PreviewLOS ANGELES (AP)

It's the biggest movie of the summer that practically no one has seen.

"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" opens Friday, but Paramount Pictures isn't screening the blockbuster for critics beforehand. Only a select few writers from blogs and movie Web sites have seen it for review — such as Harry Knowles, the self-professed "Head Geek" from Ain't It Cool News — and their opinions have been mostly positive.

Instead, the studio says it's intentionally aiming the movie at the heartland, at cities and audiences outside the entertainment vortexes of New York and Los Angeles. Paramount held a screening Friday for 1,000 military service members and their families at Andrews Air Force Base; it's also focusing marketing efforts in places like Kansas City, Charlotte, N.C., and Columbus, Ohio.

While appealing to a sense of patriotism nationwide, the plan also is inspired by the disparity that existed between the critical trashing "Transformers: Rise of the Fallen" received and the massive crowds it drew at the box office.

"`G.I. Joe' is a big, fun, summer event movie — one that we've seen audiences enjoy everywhere from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland to Phoenix, Ariz.," said Rob Moore, vice chairman of Paramount Pictures. "After the chasm we experienced with `Transformers 2' between the response of audiences and critics, we chose to forgo opening-day print and broadcast reviews as a strategy to promote `G.I. Joe.' We want audiences to define this film."

With a reported production budget of $175 million and a cast that includes Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "G.I. Joe" follows the adventures of an elite team using high-tech spy and military equipment to take down a corrupt arms dealer. It comes from director Stephen Sommers, whose previous films include "The Mummy" and "Van Helsing."

Long before anyone saw the completed product, though, "G.I. Joe" drew mixed buzz at best for its trailer, which premiered during the Super Bowl. Now it's the final action picture of the summer — and it has a lot in common with the highest-grossing film so far this year, the "Transformers" sequel. Both are effects-laden spectacles based on Hasbro toys and both are Paramount releases from producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura.

"Transformers" has gone on to gross more than $388 million in the United States alone since its opening six weeks ago, despite receiving just 20 percent positive reviews on the Web site Rotten Tomatoes, a critical aggregator. The withholding of "G.I. Joe" from mainstream critics suggests that the studios believe they can succeed at the box office without them.

It's a tactic normally reserved for horror movies or other genre pictures with built-in fans who don't necessarily care about reviews — ones based on video games, for example — not summer blockbusters. Still, "G.I. Joe" has been tracking well because it represents the last big bang of the season, said Paul Dergarabedian, box-office analyst for Hollywood.com.

"They don't need (to screen) it and there's no upside to negative reviews. The film is going to open well no matter what," Dergarabedian said. "They're being very strategic in who they show the movie to. If they can win over their core audience from these reviews, that's good for the movie."

Devin Faraci from the film Web site CHUD.com is one of the few writers who have seen it for review purposes, and not just for junket interviews. He's among the critics who've contributed to the movie's 88-percent positive rating as tabulated by Rotten Tomatoes, saying: "If I was 10 years old, `G.I. Joe' would be one of the best movies I had ever seen."

Faraci said he was in Toronto recently when he received a phone call at 8:30 a.m. Los Angeles time, asking if he could come to the Paramount lot that day for a "G.I. Joe" screening. He flew back, got off the plane and headed right over.

"It's silly. It's a film that plays on its own terms," he said. "I don't think reviews will kill it but I think it'll get a more positive response than they expect. It's a big, silly, pulpy, cartoony action film and it makes no apologies for being that way."

(© 2009 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

They're not previewing the film for critics and it stars Marlon Wayans; this sounds like a great movie.  I only wish my friends Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot were here to see it.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:37:01 AM
What are you talking about?  The inclusion of Marlon Wayans in Dungeons & Dragons really made the movie.  :mad:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on August 06, 2009, 11:50:29 AM
Yeah.  Without him it would have just have been Tom Baker in a sad, sad, finale to his long career.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:56:29 AM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on August 06, 2009, 11:50:29 AM
Yeah.  Without him it would have just have been Tom Baker in a sad, sad, finale to his long career.
I really enjoyed watching Thora Birch destroy her career as well.

What annoys me is that chick who played the wizard hasn't done anything else that I've seen.  She was HOTT.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: jimmy olsen on August 06, 2009, 11:58:09 AM
Is anyone surprised, the previews looked terrible.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:59:43 AM
You mean casting that gay kid from Third Rock from the Sun as COBRA COMMANDER didn't work out too well!? :o :o :o
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Eddie Teach on August 06, 2009, 12:01:01 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:56:29 AM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on August 06, 2009, 11:50:29 AM
Yeah.  Without him it would have just have been Tom Baker in a sad, sad, finale to his long career.
I really enjoyed watching Thora Birch destroy her career as well.

What annoys me is that chick who played the wizard hasn't done anything else that I've seen.  She was HOTT.

Thora Birch is just another in a long line of child actresses not gorgeous enough to make it as an adult.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: DisturbedPervert on August 06, 2009, 12:02:13 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:59:43 AM
You mean casting that gay kid from Third Rock from the Sun as COBRA COMMANDER didn't work out too well!? :o :o :o

WTF  :lol:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:02:19 PM
I actually always thought she was ugly.  I wasn't even remotely turned on when she went topless in American Beauty. :huh:

Part of it is she has alot of moles and I hate moley chicks.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Neil on August 06, 2009, 12:04:17 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:59:43 AM
You mean casting that gay kid from Third Rock from the Sun as COBRA COMMANDER didn't work out too well!? :o :o :o
They fucked up Cobra Commander.  That's the worst part of this debacle.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: BuddhaRhubarb on August 06, 2009, 12:08:48 PM
LOL. maybe they can't preview it because if anyone sees this they'll learn state secrets and have to be killed. It'd be a nice way to thin out the chaff. Electrify the seats. anyone who pays hgets executed. You could just show it in FLA and TX. (and other less famous death penalty states)
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Eddie Teach on August 06, 2009, 12:09:37 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:02:19 PM
I actually always thought she was ugly.  I wasn't even remotely turned on when she went topless in American Beauty. :huh:

I don't even remember that part. Too distracted. Mena :wub:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:10:56 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on August 06, 2009, 12:09:37 PMI don't even remember that part. Too distracted. Mena :wub:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Cerr on August 06, 2009, 12:11:36 PM
I saw it yesterday (I won free tickets to an advance screening).

It's a pretty silly summer action flick. Some of the action scenes are quite entertaining though. It's fast moving but it goes on for a bit too long. The CGI stuff in it, for the most part are very bad (particularly the vehicles, they look like they're from a PS2 game). There's also quite a lot of cheesy dialogue.
I certainly wouldn't pay to see it but if you keep your expectations low you might enjoy it for what it is.
Boys would definitely get the most out of the movie.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:13:16 PM
Was the Baroness HOTT?
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Cerr on August 06, 2009, 12:14:54 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:13:16 PM
Was the Baroness HOTT?
Yeah but Scarlett was HOTTER.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Cerr on August 06, 2009, 12:26:48 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:59:43 AM
You mean casting that gay kid from Third Rock from the Sun as COBRA COMMANDER didn't work out too well!? :o :o :o
I thought he did quite well.
SPOILERS:






He only becomes COBRA COMMANDER at the very end. For most of the movie he's a disfigured, partially masked scientist helping Eccleston (the main villain). There are also some flashbacks to before he became disfigured.
END SPOILERS
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:28:52 PM
Quote from: Cerr on August 06, 2009, 12:14:54 PMYeah but Scarlett was HOTTER.
Which one had bigger tits?
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Cerr on August 06, 2009, 12:35:43 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:28:52 PM
Quote from: Cerr on August 06, 2009, 12:14:54 PMYeah but Scarlett was HOTTER.
Which one had bigger tits?
Scarlett.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:41:23 PM
YO JOE!
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Drakken on August 06, 2009, 12:47:41 PM
I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter.  :mad: :mad: :mad:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:48:23 PM
Quote from: Drakken on August 06, 2009, 12:47:41 PM
I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter.  :mad: :mad: :mad:
He was busy befriending the Iron Sheikh.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Neil on August 06, 2009, 01:25:18 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:48:23 PM
Quote from: Drakken on August 06, 2009, 12:47:41 PM
I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter.  :mad: :mad: :mad:
He was busy befriending the Iron Sheikh.
Classical Iron Sheikh waved an Iranian flag, didn't he?  Not our friends, no matter what Spellus thinks.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Syt on August 06, 2009, 01:49:41 PM
Quote from: Drakken on August 06, 2009, 12:47:41 PM
I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter.  :mad: :mad: :mad:

I had a G.I. Joe Sgt. Slaughter Action Figure and tank. :)
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Josquius on August 06, 2009, 02:24:11 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:37:01 AM
What are you talking about?  The inclusion of Marlon Wayans in Dungeons & Dragons really made the movie.  :mad:
Wow, someone else who knows of the Dungeons and Dragons film. Thought I was the only one.
It just sneaked into the cinema one day and I intended up going to see it.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 02:33:45 PM
When I saw it, there was a kid who was ~8 years old sitting near us who was actually heckling the movie.

If your movie is unable to impress an eight-year old boy, you know it blows chunks.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Vince on August 06, 2009, 02:34:43 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:48:23 PM
Quote from: Drakken on August 06, 2009, 12:47:41 PM
I am angry that Sargeant Slaughter wasn't there to reprise his role as Sargeant Slaughter.  :mad: :mad: :mad:
He was busy befriending the Iron Sheikh.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan would have clubbed the Sheikh with his 2x4.   :menace:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on August 06, 2009, 02:42:30 PM
I saw dungeons and dragons with a severe upper respiratory infection.  I still don't know if I spent it miserable because of that or because of the plot, acting, dialogue, and special effects.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Sophie Scholl on August 06, 2009, 02:44:19 PM
I will probably still see this, even though it's bound to make the original GI Joe: The Movie look like gold in comparison.  Damn you life!
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Ed Anger on August 06, 2009, 02:57:09 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 12:13:16 PM
Was the Baroness HOTT?

The only question that matters.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Josquius on August 06, 2009, 03:02:10 PM
I was able to get some enjoyment from D&D purely because it was D&D. I recall when the Beholder showed up I was rather thrilled. And this was pre-LOTR times.
Still, far from a good film.

Thinking of that though has got me trying to remember if I've ever walked out of a film...I'm sure there may have been one but for the life of me I can't remember what.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: DontSayBanana on August 07, 2009, 01:30:42 AM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on August 06, 2009, 02:42:30 PM
I saw dungeons and dragons with a severe upper respiratory infection.  I still don't know if I spent it miserable because of that or because of the plot, acting, dialogue, and special effects.
You forgot cinematography and set-making. I watched it and actually suppressed all memory of the movie; the punch line is that I'm not kidding. I actually can't remember what I watched from it 5 minutes after doing so. In the Name of the King was actually a better movie.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on August 07, 2009, 08:27:47 AM
Quote from: Tyr on August 06, 2009, 03:02:10 PM
I was able to get some enjoyment from D&D purely because it was D&D. I recall when the Beholder showed up I was rather thrilled. And this was pre-LOTR times.
Still, far from a good film.

Thinking of that though has got me trying to remember if I've ever walked out of a film...I'm sure there may have been one but for the life of me I can't remember what.
I left the latest Superman movie.  Fell asleep during Starship Trooperrs. 
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Eddie Teach on August 07, 2009, 08:29:27 AM
Quote from: Tyr on August 06, 2009, 03:02:10 PM
Thinking of that though has got me trying to remember if I've ever walked out of a film...I'm sure there may have been one but for the life of me I can't remember what.

I walk out of films all the time.




Weak bladder.  :blush:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Ed Anger on August 07, 2009, 08:41:04 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on August 07, 2009, 08:29:27 AM
Quote from: Tyr on August 06, 2009, 03:02:10 PM
Thinking of that though has got me trying to remember if I've ever walked out of a film...I'm sure there may have been one but for the life of me I can't remember what.

I walk out of films all the time.




Weak bladder.  :blush:

:console:

Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: The Minsky Moment on August 07, 2009, 10:32:40 AM
This can't be entirely true b/c the Financial Times ran a review yesterday, and they are hardly a friendly audience.  Perhaps the producers felt that it is a niche publication whose readers are far outside their target demo so no harm.  But the review seemed to indicate that there were a number of other reviewers present.

Needless to say he panned the film, although he did give two stars, so it could have been worse (he usually doesn't hesitate to give 1 star).
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Savonarola on August 07, 2009, 10:42:42 AM
Quote from: The Minsky Moment on August 07, 2009, 10:32:40 AM
This can't be entirely true b/c the Financial Times ran a review yesterday, and they are hardly a friendly audience.  Perhaps the producers felt that it is a niche publication whose readers are far outside their target demo so no harm.  But the review seemed to indicate that there were a number of other reviewers present.

Needless to say he panned the film, although he did give two stars, so it could have been worse (he usually doesn't hesitate to give 1 star).

CNN has a review up as well.  Even so, not letting most reviewers preview the work is not usually a good sign.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: jimmy olsen on August 07, 2009, 11:03:20 AM
Providence Journal gave it 2 and 1/2 stars and called it the most violent PG-13 film ever made, worse than many R rated films.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on August 07, 2009, 11:30:51 AM
I look forward to MrCranky's review.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 11:35:17 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on August 07, 2009, 11:03:20 AM
Providence Journal gave it 2 and 1/2 stars and called it the most violent PG-13 film ever made, worse than many R rated films.
Well, that's just ridiculous.  I can't believe a GI Joe movie would contain an excessive amount of violence.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:02:59 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 11:35:17 AM
Well, that's just ridiculous.  I can't believe a GI Joe movie would contain an excessive amount of violence.

I do find that hard to believe.  I cannot recall anybody actually getting hurt in a GI Joe cartoon.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: jimmy olsen on August 07, 2009, 12:05:17 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:02:59 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 11:35:17 AM
Well, that's just ridiculous.  I can't believe a GI Joe movie would contain an excessive amount of violence.

I do find that hard to believe.  I cannot recall anybody actually getting hurt in a GI Joe cartoon.
The reviewer made it sound like there were some pretty graphic death scenes.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:06:51 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:02:59 PM
I do find that hard to believe.  I cannot recall anybody actually getting hurt in a GI Joe cartoon.
No, but there was nonstop shooting and explosions, and I consider those items to be violent. :)
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:08:25 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:06:51 PM
No, but there was nonstop shooting and explosions, and I consider those items to be violent. :)

Shooting with laser beams.  It was about as violent as laser tag.

It was especially amazing because even the machine guns shot lasters.

Graphic violence, blood and guts and all that good stuff, now that is not GI Joe. 
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:12:51 PM
:blink:

So your position is basically that GI Joe was not a violent cartoon?  Am I reading your posts correctly?  I know you have not come out and said that but that's the subtext that I am seeing.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on August 07, 2009, 12:17:29 PM
Shit. Thats some wacky tobacky you smokin Valmmeister V.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:17:52 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:12:51 PM
:blink:

So your position is basically that GI Joe was not a violent cartoon?  Am I reading your posts correctly?  I know you have not come out and said that but that's the subtext that I am seeing.

I guess I consider 'R rated violence' to be graphic blood and guts.  I don't consider people running around shooting guns and not hitting anything to be R rated.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:19:54 PM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on August 07, 2009, 12:17:29 PM
Shit. Thats some wacky tobacky you smokin Valmmeister V.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.  You guys are not total idiots surely that you cannot see the difference between graphic violence and saturday morning cartoon violence.

Turn your brain on please.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:22:36 PM
No, I can see the difference between cartoon violence and bloody gory violence.

All I was trying to say is that it doesn't surprise me that the movie is ultra violent because the GI Joe cartoon was ultra violent.  It might have been cartoonish (which makes sense, because duh it was a cartoon), but it was still violent.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Grey Fox on August 07, 2009, 12:23:45 PM
Don't you know that those ratings on entirely based on sexual content?
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:25:22 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:22:36 PM
All I was trying to say is that it doesn't surprise me that the movie is ultra violent because the GI Joe cartoon was ultra violent.  It might have been cartoonish (which makes sense, because duh it was a cartoon), but it was still violent.

True but it would still be surprising if there was a high level of death of gore given as those things rarely, if ever, were in GI Joe which seems to me what R rated violence means.

That there would be cool action packed fight scenes...yeah that is a given.

We seem to have a hard time communicating in this thread.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: derspiess on August 07, 2009, 12:26:21 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:22:36 PM
All I was trying to say is that it doesn't surprise me that the movie is ultra violent because the GI Joe cartoon was ultra violent.  It might have been cartoonish (which makes sense, because duh it was a cartoon), but it was still violent.

Calling it "ultra violent" is misleading.  Lots of explosions & shooting, but nobody ever dies.  A *truly* ultra violent GI Joe cartoon would have kicked ass, though.  Would have loved to see Destro cap some Joe :)
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: derspiess on August 07, 2009, 12:29:13 PM
Quote from: Vince on August 06, 2009, 02:34:43 PM
Hacksaw Jim Duggan would have clubbed the Sheikh with his 2x4.   :menace:

The Fridge would've kicked all their asses combined :contract:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdigitalpolyphony.webs.com%2FwilliamPerry_2907.jpg&hash=9e01052209cf55f62f5d402e5e806d7dc248434c)

Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:30:02 PM
:bleeding:

That's when GI Joe truly jumped the shark.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:30:10 PM
 :lol: They made him a GI Joe character?  That is awesome.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:35:10 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:30:10 PM
:lol: They made him a GI Joe character?  That is awesome.
Yep.  Sergeant Slaughter was a pretty cool crossover, but putting The Fridge in there was just way over the top.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Malthus on August 07, 2009, 01:41:53 PM
Quote from: derspiess on August 07, 2009, 12:26:21 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:22:36 PM
All I was trying to say is that it doesn't surprise me that the movie is ultra violent because the GI Joe cartoon was ultra violent.  It might have been cartoonish (which makes sense, because duh it was a cartoon), but it was still violent.

Calling it "ultra violent" is misleading.  Lots of explosions & shooting, but nobody ever dies.  A *truly* ultra violent GI Joe cartoon would have kicked ass, though.  Would have loved to see Destro cap some Joe :)

Heh, a GI Joe cartoon that resembled the first half-hour of Saving Private Ryan.  :D
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 02:07:50 PM
Quote from: Malthus on August 07, 2009, 01:41:53 PM
Heh, a GI Joe cartoon that resembled the first half-hour of Saving Private Ryan.  :D

The Cobra mooks surrender and Duke guns them down!
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Neil on August 07, 2009, 02:10:04 PM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on August 07, 2009, 12:17:29 PM
Shit. Thats some wacky tobacky you smokin Valmmeister V.
No, he's right.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Neil on August 07, 2009, 02:11:51 PM
Quote from: derspiess on August 07, 2009, 12:26:21 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 12:22:36 PM
All I was trying to say is that it doesn't surprise me that the movie is ultra violent because the GI Joe cartoon was ultra violent.  It might have been cartoonish (which makes sense, because duh it was a cartoon), but it was still violent.

Calling it "ultra violent" is misleading.  Lots of explosions & shooting, but nobody ever dies.  A *truly* ultra violent GI Joe cartoon would have kicked ass, though.  Would have loved to see Destro cap some Joe :)
Exactly.  Just because there's a bunch of guns doesn't make it ultraviolence.  Ultraviolence should have severe, bloody, random beatings, as well as at least one rape.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Syt on August 07, 2009, 02:12:00 PM
Btw, there's only proper way of portraiting G.I. Joe.

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmembers.dokom.net%2Ftorsten.kiebert%2Fc64%2Fgi_joe_1.gif&hash=81654522d4e9f9550310c9483b2fd3bf949e3a1e)

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.retropoly.de%2Fbilder%2Fnews%2Fgi.gif&hash=eb3428f68c0b2c7a969c5d04abb6bebd7ce67e44)

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdos.ilbm.info%2Ffiles%2Fc64-gi-joe-cobra.png&hash=88edc26f32f25c0ed4ee0f318ce0e569e28abedd)

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhome.arcor.de%2Ftoddybody%2Fc64gi-joe_-_turn_the_disk.gif&hash=05cb47176916167fb3f8dcdc8a647d96aa9f36b2)
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Neil on August 07, 2009, 02:13:18 PM
BTW:  Was I the only kid in the world who thought that ninjas were faggoty?  I had a hard time being impressed by Snake Eyes and Stormshadow when everyone else was packing heat.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 02:15:50 PM
Was I the only kid in the world who did not understand why they always had to have token chicks in boys toy lines and token boys in girls toy lines?

It was just weird how every single team of good guys and every single team of bad guys always had exactly one chick.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Syt on August 07, 2009, 02:16:42 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 02:15:50 PM
Was I the only kid in the world who did not understand why they always had to have token chicks in boys toy lines and token boys in girls toy lines?

Porn mustache FTW!
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flounge155.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F02%2Fshe-ra.jpg&hash=37bec6fdffb59e91e1dcdf58c9b017ed3723310b)
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Savonarola on August 07, 2009, 02:18:32 PM
Quote from: Syt on August 07, 2009, 02:12:00 PM

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhome.arcor.de%2Ftoddybody%2Fc64gi-joe_-_turn_the_disk.gif&hash=05cb47176916167fb3f8dcdc8a647d96aa9f36b2)

:lol:

Awesome
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 02:20:37 PM
I had that game :yeah:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Savonarola on August 07, 2009, 02:21:24 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 02:15:50 PM
Was I the only kid in the world who did not understand why they always had to have token chicks in boys toy lines and token boys in girls toy lines?

It was just weird how every single team of good guys and every single team of bad guys always had exactly one chick.

In the 1970s Title IX was applied to super hero teams in the landmark case Diana Prince vs. Justice League of America.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Eddie Teach on August 07, 2009, 02:23:48 PM
Quote from: Savonarola on August 07, 2009, 02:21:24 PM
In the 1970s Title IX was applied to super hero teams in the landmark case Diana Prince vs. Justice League of America.

I'm going to preempt Tim by remarking on what an awesome post this was. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Syt on August 07, 2009, 02:24:59 PM
Quote from: Savonarola on August 07, 2009, 02:18:32 PM

:lol:

Awesome

I was always befuddled by how he held that disk. No one I knew was able to duplicate holding a disk that way.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Syt on August 07, 2009, 02:26:49 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 02:20:37 PM
I had that game :yeah:

G.I. Joe wasn't known in Germany (unlike He-Man, Transformers, M.A.S.K.). I only had this toy courtesy of my sister's trip to the PX with her husband:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cracked.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F11%2Ftripet.jpg&hash=2a1ffc7283c975d7119406e59922a6062e861781)

But almost everyone with a C64/128 had the video game.  :pirate :nerd:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Tonitrus on August 07, 2009, 03:22:20 PM
GI Joe violence was like A-Team violence:  Lots of shooting where no one gets hit, followed by a fist fight.

And every plane shot down had an ejection, and every vehicle destroyed had the occupants jumping to safety.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Vince on August 07, 2009, 04:44:22 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:02:59 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 11:35:17 AM
Well, that's just ridiculous.  I can't believe a GI Joe movie would contain an excessive amount of violence.

I do find that hard to believe.  I cannot recall anybody actually getting hurt in a GI Joe cartoon.

Duke got speared in the chest in the cartoon movie  :ph34r:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Tonitrus on August 07, 2009, 04:52:02 PM
Quote from: Vince on August 07, 2009, 04:44:22 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:02:59 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 11:35:17 AM
Well, that's just ridiculous.  I can't believe a GI Joe movie would contain an excessive amount of violence.

I do find that hard to believe.  I cannot recall anybody actually getting hurt in a GI Joe cartoon.

Duke got speared in the chest in the cartoon movie  :ph34r:

Yes, and the reaction at the time was "ZOMG...REAL VIOLENCE IN A GIJOE!"
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Sophie Scholl on August 07, 2009, 05:54:32 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 02:15:50 PM
It was just weird how every single team of good guys and every single team of bad guys always had exactly one chick.
The Baroness, Lady Jay, and Scarlett were all featured pretty heavily in the early good cartoons before the switch to USA Network.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: PRC on August 07, 2009, 06:06:28 PM
The early G.I. Joe comic book series from Marvel was awesome, especially the run drawn by Mike Zeck.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Neil on August 07, 2009, 06:19:50 PM
Quote from: PRC on August 07, 2009, 06:06:28 PM
The early G.I. Joe comic book series from Marvel was awesome, especially the run drawn by Mike Zeck.
Marvel's toy comics were really rather good.  GI Joe, Transformers, Sectaurs, Air Raiders.  All of them were pretty good.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 07:03:50 PM
So anyway, in this movie did Lady Jaye shoot down any Cobra jets flying at Mach 2 at 29,000 feet by throwing an explosive spear at them? :)
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on August 07, 2009, 09:04:48 PM
Cobra sucked in the cartoons because they'd toss the captured Joes in prison without taking their backpacks, guns, or knives.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: DontSayBanana on August 07, 2009, 11:21:44 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on August 07, 2009, 12:23:45 PM
Don't you know that those ratings on entirely based on sexual content?
If by "entirely based on sexual content" you mean based on what the reviewers deem to be acceptable levels of coarse language, depictions of violence, and sexual content, then yes.

Anyway, I think what Cal's getting at is that the movie's a different genre, but that it'd be believable that the movie and the cartoon would have the same proportion of graphic violence to their respective genre- lasers and explosions to be risque for the kiddies and blood and lots of juicy gore to be risque for the different audience of prime-time moviegoers.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Viking on August 08, 2009, 02:02:58 AM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:02:59 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 11:35:17 AM
Well, that's just ridiculous.  I can't believe a GI Joe movie would contain an excessive amount of violence.

I do find that hard to believe.  I cannot recall anybody actually getting hurt in a GI Joe cartoon.

Plastic feels no pain remember?

But I remember that after Optimus Prime getting killed in the Transformers Cartoon Movie the adverse reaction to that kept them from killing Duke.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Viking on August 08, 2009, 02:08:49 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on August 07, 2009, 02:23:48 PM
Quote from: Savonarola on August 07, 2009, 02:21:24 PM
In the 1970s Title IX was applied to super hero teams in the landmark case Diana Prince vs. Justice League of America.

I'm going to preempt Tim by remarking on what an awesome post this was. :thumbsup:

wow there is such a thing as a "pre-taint"
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Razgovory on August 08, 2009, 05:45:50 AM
Quote from: Caliga on August 06, 2009, 11:56:29 AM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on August 06, 2009, 11:50:29 AM
Yeah.  Without him it would have just have been Tom Baker in a sad, sad, finale to his long career.
I really enjoyed watching Thora Birch destroy her career as well.

What annoys me is that chick who played the wizard hasn't done anything else that I've seen.  She was HOTT.

Agree totally.  I'd like to see more of her in less.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Eddie Teach on August 08, 2009, 06:16:13 AM
Quick imdb search shows her being a regular on the tv shows JAG and Dirty Sexy Money.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 08, 2009, 10:19:58 AM
I don't watch TV.  TV is for the unwashed masses.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 08, 2009, 10:26:15 AM
But you're right:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc)

Ugh, I hate haircuts that short though.  Instant turnoff.  Women cannot have hair shorter than shoulder-length or they look like men with tits to me. :x
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Razgovory on August 08, 2009, 10:28:49 AM
Quote from: Caliga on August 08, 2009, 10:26:15 AM
But you're right:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc)

Ugh, I hate haircuts that short though.  Instant turnoff.  Women cannot have hair shorter than shoulder-length or they look like men with tits to me. :x

It works for some better then others.  But I prefer shoulder length.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on August 08, 2009, 11:52:24 AM
I'm seeing this tomorrow.  Its at a place called Chunky's, you sit in old comfortable car seats and can eat and drink.  I'm thinking a beer or three and a frozen rum drink will make this somewhat less bad.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Viking on August 08, 2009, 12:11:57 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 08, 2009, 10:26:15 AM
But you're right:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc)

Ugh, I hate haircuts that short though.  Instant turnoff.  Women cannot have hair shorter than shoulder-length or they look like men with tits to me. :x

Caveman instinct say; "Long hair says I am a healthy and a potentially available mate, short hair says I am too busy with other stuff to try to keep looking like I am a healthy and a potentially available mate."
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Cerr on August 08, 2009, 12:17:36 PM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on August 08, 2009, 11:52:24 AM
I'm seeing this tomorrow.  Its at a place called Chunky's, you sit in old comfortable car seats and can eat and drink.  I'm thinking a beer or three and a frozen rum drink will make this somewhat less bad.
Yeah that'll help.
It's not a terrible movie, just very silly(if you're familar with other GI Joe stuff you know what to expect) with some cheesy lines and dodgy special fx. The break in and the subsequent Paris chase are well done and fun. On the whole, I enjoyed the film. I might have been a bit too critical in my earlier post.
I'd give it a two and a half out of five.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Ed Anger on August 08, 2009, 02:37:49 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 08, 2009, 10:19:58 AM
I don't watch TV.  TV is for the unwashed masses.

Elitist.  :mad:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: The Brain on August 08, 2009, 02:57:58 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 08, 2009, 10:26:15 AM
But you're right:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgAQ0DCZocc)

Ugh, I hate haircuts that short though.  Instant turnoff.  Women cannot have hair shorter than shoulder-length or they look like men with tits to me. :x

Short hair on women = HOTT. But then you're a fucking Kentuckian, I don't know why I even bother.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: viper37 on August 10, 2009, 03:56:08 PM
Short haired women = turn off.

Anyway, saw the movie, liked it.  Better than Transformers 2, imho.  Can't remember wich critic I read that said the scene in Paris could very well have been taken from Team America: World Police, but that's spot on :D

Saw it dubbed in French, so it didn't appear so bad.  Maybe it's plagued by bad acting, I don't really know.

G.I. Joe was always over the top as a comic, so I fail to see how it could/should be über serious in the 'real action' movie.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 11, 2009, 10:54:15 AM
Quote from: The Brain on August 08, 2009, 02:57:58 PMShort hair on women = HOTT. But then you're a fucking Kentuckian, I don't know why I even bother.
DON'T ANGER ME.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Drakken on August 11, 2009, 11:00:01 AM
I love women with short hair. If you don't want them, I can take them.  :hug:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Duque de Bragança on August 14, 2009, 05:03:35 PM
Quote from: Valmy on August 07, 2009, 12:02:59 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 07, 2009, 11:35:17 AM
Well, that's just ridiculous.  I can't believe a GI Joe movie would contain an excessive amount of violence.

I do find that hard to believe.  I cannot recall anybody actually getting hurt in a GI Joe cartoon.

In the animation movie there was eventually but then the animation was better since it was done by the Japanese (Toei) :contract:
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Caliga on August 14, 2009, 05:31:47 PM
Quote from: Drakken on August 11, 2009, 11:00:01 AM
I love women with short hair. If you don't want them, I can take them.  :hug:
kk
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Admiral Yi on August 14, 2009, 05:36:41 PM
When you guys say short hair, are you talking pixie short, like Jordanna Brewster in that Naval Academy flick and that Danish chick in the Danish druggie flick, or Annie Lennox short?
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: The Brain on August 14, 2009, 06:46:40 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on August 14, 2009, 05:36:41 PM
When you guys say short hair, are you talking pixie short, like Jordanna Brewster in that Naval Academy flick and that Danish chick in the Danish druggie flick, or Annie Lennox short?

I takes what I can gets.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Razgovory on August 14, 2009, 07:42:47 PM
Quote from: Neil on August 07, 2009, 06:19:50 PM
Quote from: PRC on August 07, 2009, 06:06:28 PM
The early G.I. Joe comic book series from Marvel was awesome, especially the run drawn by Mike Zeck.
Marvel's toy comics were really rather good.  GI Joe, Transformers, Sectaurs, Air Raiders.  All of them were pretty good.

I enjoyed the GI Joe ones.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Razgovory on August 14, 2009, 07:44:51 PM
Quote from: Syt on August 07, 2009, 02:12:00 PM

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.retropoly.de%2Fbilder%2Fnews%2Fgi.gif&hash=eb3428f68c0b2c7a969c5d04abb6bebd7ce67e44)

The names on the last row are sort of amusing today.
Title: Re: Critics not Allowd to Preview GI Joe
Post by: Razgovory on August 14, 2009, 07:56:34 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogEtfIdgjpY&feature=related

These were probably better anyway. 

Probably NSFW.