Remember Brain, no means no.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2172612.ece
QuoteToothy raccoon bit off manhood
By LEON WATSON
Published: 26 Jan 2009
rigTeaserImage
A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert's PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.
Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.
"When I saw the raccoon I thought I'd have some fun," he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
"He's been told they can get things working again but they can't sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.
"That's gone forever so there isn't going to be much for them to work with."
Why are you posting a story from Jan 26th? Obviously this was already posted on Languish before. Tsk, tsk.
Quote from: garbon on June 27, 2009, 09:39:32 PM
Why are you posting a story from Jan 26th? Obviously this was already posted on Languish before. Tsk, tsk.
I saw it posted on another forum so I assumed it was recent.
I don't remember it being posted here before.
Wrong on all counts. :(
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frecords.viu.ca%2F%257Esoules%2Fmedi402%2Fleanne%2Fpris.jpg&hash=3fc3c6e9e89070e820c66bd5980038c4d292e4d3)
I'd hit it.
...clearly he never had a hamster as a kid.
Quote from: Tyr on June 28, 2009, 08:26:53 AM
...clearly he never had a hamster as a kid.
:blink: :unsure:
I can't imagine a situation in which Raccoon rape goes *right* :P
Quote from: Jaron on June 28, 2009, 02:56:18 PM
I can't imagine a situation in which Raccoon rape goes *right* :P
When the raccoon develops a bond with the rapists and convinces them to end the war?
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on June 28, 2009, 03:04:33 PM
Quote from: Jaron on June 28, 2009, 02:56:18 PM
I can't imagine a situation in which Raccoon rape goes *right* :P
When the raccoon develops a bond with the rapists and convinces them to end the war?
Ok that post made me laugh out loud. :D
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 28, 2009, 08:28:35 AM
Quote from: Tyr on June 28, 2009, 08:26:53 AM
...clearly he never had a hamster as a kid.
:blink: :unsure:
I'm going to have to second that :blink:
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 28, 2009, 08:28:35 AM
Quote from: Tyr on June 28, 2009, 08:26:53 AM
...clearly he never had a hamster as a kid.
:blink: :unsure:
One of those lessons in growing up.
Every kid has put his finger through the bars of a hamster cage and had it bitten.
Finger scales up to penis, hamster scales up to raccoon and...voila.
Quote from: Tyr on June 28, 2009, 03:28:00 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 28, 2009, 08:28:35 AM
Quote from: Tyr on June 28, 2009, 08:26:53 AM
...clearly he never had a hamster as a kid.
:blink: :unsure:
One of those lessons in growing up.
Every kid has put his finger through the bars of a hamster cage and had it bitten.
Finger scales up to penis, hamster scales up to raccoon and...voila.
:lol: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere_2.htm (http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere_2.htm)
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on June 28, 2009, 04:18:58 PM
Quote from: Tyr on June 28, 2009, 03:28:00 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 28, 2009, 08:28:35 AM
Quote from: Tyr on June 28, 2009, 08:26:53 AM
...clearly he never had a hamster as a kid.
:blink: :unsure:
One of those lessons in growing up.
Every kid has put his finger through the bars of a hamster cage and had it bitten.
Finger scales up to penis, hamster scales up to raccoon and...voila.
:lol: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere_2.htm (http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere_2.htm)
Exactly what I was thinking. :lol:
Quote from: Jaron on June 28, 2009, 02:56:18 PM
I can't imagine a situation in which Raccoon rape goes *right* :P
How did the most incredibly obvious point get missed for so long? :lmfao:
My first Bullshit Detection alert focussed on this being in russia. But a quick look around on the internet found this
http://www.wonderclub.com/Wildlife/mammals/racoon.html
(http://becauseofitsfur,theracoonhasbeenintroducedintoothercountries,notablyeuropeandrussia.)
now I have to find out why wonderclub.com seems to think that A) Europe seems to be a country and B) Russia is not a country in Europe.
Quote from: Jaron on June 28, 2009, 02:56:18 PM
I can't imagine a situation in which Raccoon rape goes *right* :P
This *is* a situation in which raccoon rape went right. :D
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
Probably not without permanent damage to the racoon. I've seen movies of guys doing chicken (which have a hole large enough for a chicken egg) who were rather unalive afterwards. :x
Quote from: Syt on June 29, 2009, 10:29:33 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
Probably not without permanent damage to the racoon. I've seen movies of guys doing chicken (which have a hole large enough for a chicken egg) who were rather unalive afterwards. :x
I don't ask why cause I know the answer. <_<
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
Every once in a while DGuller let's slip some of weirdo sexual fetishes.
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
Scientific curiosity?
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
I was wondering if the guy made a rational risk-reward decision. Wouldn't it suck if he risked his privates for nothing, because he had no shot at meaningful sex with the racoon anyway?
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
You are just lucky he didn't ask if the Raccoon would willingly put out for Obama. :D
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 10:50:46 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway? Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
I was wondering if the guy made a rational risk-reward decision.
He tried to rape a friggin raccoon, the man is clearly not rational.
For me, the surprising part is that a drunk guy could catch a raccoon in the first place.
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:54:05 AM
He tried to rape a friggin raccoon, the man is clearly not rational.
I think you're confusing repulsive and immoral acts with irrational acts. Clearly raping a raccoon is repulsive and immoral. However, whether it's irrational depends on the expected benefit to the rapist compared to expected costs.
It would obviously be irrational to try to rape a raccoon if you can't even physically do it, you're just exposing yourself to risk without the possibility of a reward. However, things become less clear if it is possible to have sex with a raccoon. I'll be the first one to admit that I don't know much about the mechanics of human-raccoon sex, that's why I asked.
Quote from: Malthus on June 29, 2009, 10:54:59 AM
For me, the surprising part is that a drunk guy could catch a raccoon in the first place.
Yeah Raccons are pretty vicious and evasive little dudes.
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 11:20:03 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:54:05 AM
He tried to rape a friggin raccoon, the man is clearly not rational.
I think you're confusing repulsive and immoral acts with irrational acts. Clearly raping a raccoon is repulsive and immoral. However, whether it's irrational depends on the expected benefit to the rapist compared to expected costs.
It would obviously be irrational to try to rape a raccoon if you can't even physically do it, you're just exposing yourself to risk without the possibility of a reward. However, things become less clear if it is possible to have sex with a raccoon. I'll be the first one to admit that I don't know much about the mechanics of human-raccoon sex, that's why I asked.
... in the confident expectation that someone out there is an expert.
Sadly, that expectation is probably not misplaced. :lol:
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on June 28, 2009, 04:18:58 PM
:lol: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere_2.htm (http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/celebrities/a/richard_gere_2.htm)
:blink: :unsure: