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Attempted Raccoon Rape Goes Wrong

Started by jimmy olsen, June 27, 2009, 09:33:08 PM

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Viking

#15
June 29, 2009, 12:43:50 AM
My first Bullshit Detection alert focussed on this being in russia. But a quick look around on the internet found this

http://www.wonderclub.com/Wildlife/mammals/racoon.html


now I have to find out why wonderclub.com seems to think that A) Europe seems to be a country and B) Russia is not a country in Europe.
First Maxim - "There are only two amounts, too few and enough."
First Corollary - "You cannot have too many soldiers, only too few supplies."
Second Maxim - "Be willing to exchange a bad idea for a good one."
Second Corollary - "You can only be wrong or agree with me."

A terrorist which starts a slaughter quoting Locke, Burke and Mill has completely missed the point.
The fact remains that the only person or group to applaud the Norway massacre are random Islamists.

Malthus

#16
June 29, 2009, 08:38:48 AM
Quote from: Jaron on June 28, 2009, 02:56:18 PM
I can't imagine a situation in which Raccoon rape goes *right* :P

This *is* a situation in which raccoon rape went right.  :D
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

DGuller

#17
June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?

Syt

#18
June 29, 2009, 10:29:33 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?

Probably not without permanent damage to the racoon. I've seen movies of guys doing chicken (which have a hole large enough for a chicken egg) who were rather unalive afterwards. :x
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Razgovory

#19
June 29, 2009, 10:32:31 AM
Quote from: Syt on June 29, 2009, 10:29:33 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?

Probably not without permanent damage to the racoon. I've seen movies of guys doing chicken (which have a hole large enough for a chicken egg) who were rather unalive afterwards. :x

I don't ask why cause I know the answer. <_<
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

jimmy olsen

#20
June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

Razgovory

#21
June 29, 2009, 10:42:38 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?

Every once in a while DGuller let's slip some of weirdo sexual fetishes.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Syt

#22
June 29, 2009, 10:48:51 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?

Scientific curiosity?
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

DGuller

#23
June 29, 2009, 10:50:46 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
I was wondering if the guy made a rational risk-reward decision.  Wouldn't it suck if he risked his privates for nothing, because he had no shot at meaningful sex with the racoon anyway?

Malthus

#24
June 29, 2009, 10:53:18 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?

You are just lucky he didn't ask if the Raccoon would willingly put out for Obama.  :D
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

jimmy olsen

#25
June 29, 2009, 10:54:05 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 10:50:46 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:38:37 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 09:39:18 AM
How big are the racoons anyway?  Is it even possible to, you know, plug and play?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you ask that question?
I was wondering if the guy made a rational risk-reward decision. 
He tried to rape a friggin raccoon, the man is clearly not rational.
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

Malthus

#26
June 29, 2009, 10:54:59 AM
For me, the surprising part is that a drunk guy could catch a raccoon in the first place. 
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

DGuller

#27
June 29, 2009, 11:20:03 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:54:05 AM
He tried to rape a friggin raccoon, the man is clearly not rational.
I think you're confusing repulsive and immoral acts with irrational acts.  Clearly raping a raccoon is repulsive and immoral.  However, whether it's irrational depends on the expected benefit to the rapist compared to expected costs. 

It would obviously be irrational to try to rape a raccoon if you can't even physically do it, you're just exposing yourself to risk without the possibility of a reward.  However, things become less clear if it is possible to have sex with a raccoon.  I'll be the first one to admit that I don't know much about the mechanics of human-raccoon sex, that's why I asked.

Valmy

#28
June 29, 2009, 11:21:56 AM
Quote from: Malthus on June 29, 2009, 10:54:59 AM
For me, the surprising part is that a drunk guy could catch a raccoon in the first place. 

Yeah Raccons are pretty vicious and evasive little dudes.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Malthus

#29
June 29, 2009, 11:23:07 AM
Quote from: DGuller on June 29, 2009, 11:20:03 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 29, 2009, 10:54:05 AM
He tried to rape a friggin raccoon, the man is clearly not rational.
I think you're confusing repulsive and immoral acts with irrational acts.  Clearly raping a raccoon is repulsive and immoral.  However, whether it's irrational depends on the expected benefit to the rapist compared to expected costs. 

It would obviously be irrational to try to rape a raccoon if you can't even physically do it, you're just exposing yourself to risk without the possibility of a reward.  However, things become less clear if it is possible to have sex with a raccoon.  I'll be the first one to admit that I don't know much about the mechanics of human-raccoon sex, that's why I asked.

... in the confident expectation that someone out there is an expert.

Sadly, that expectation is probably not misplaced.  :lol:
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius
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