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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: merithyn on March 18, 2014, 10:43:40 AM

Poll
Question: Are you comfortable having family and friends "drop-by" for a visit without calling first?
Option 1: Sure! Mi casa es su casa!
Option 2: Only if I know the person well
Option 3: Erm... not so much
Option 4: Get off my lawn!
Title: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: merithyn on March 18, 2014, 10:43:40 AM
A discussion at work had me thinking. I grew up in a house that was always open. It wasn't unusual for us to come home from the store to find a friend or two sitting on the back patio, having a beer, chatting and waiting for my parents to come home to visit. I'm pretty much unfazed when someone drops by unannounced, and if I've actually invited folks over, no one bothers to knock.

Two of my co-workers, on the other hand, intensely dislike "drop-bys". If they're going to have visitors, plans must be made, period.

Where do you guys fall on this?
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: garbon on March 18, 2014, 10:46:35 AM
Yuck. I'd pretend to not be home if someone dropped by randomly.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Ideologue on March 18, 2014, 10:46:53 AM
Get off my apartment complex's lawn.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Sheilbh on March 18, 2014, 10:47:08 AM
Yes. But only if I end up older and living in the countryside.

When I was growing up we had one or two other families and we'd regularly drop by, or they would to us. On more than one occasion my dad (or their mum) would drop by in the afternoon and then end up having to wait until the evening so the more sober, working member of the household could drive us home :lol:

It was great for me and the other kids though.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Grey Fox on March 18, 2014, 10:49:59 AM
I'm ok with my dad or my girlfriend's parents/siblings dropping by. Anybody else would annoy me.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: derspiess on March 18, 2014, 10:52:44 AM
When I was a kid I guess we had people coming over semi-randomly.  But in my own house, no I do not like it.  Would like at least a half-hour notice so I can clean up whatever mess the kids made.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: The Larch on March 18, 2014, 10:59:18 AM
Only if it's somebody I know and I have the slightest bit of advance warning.

Unexpected visits are the norm in the countryside AFAIK, at least that's the case of my parents when they're back in the country, and the same for my grandma.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: The Brain on March 18, 2014, 11:03:02 AM
I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. So sure, they can knock themselves out.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Razgovory on March 18, 2014, 11:38:02 AM
Absolutely not!  But then, I don't really have a lot of friends so it doesn't come up much.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Zanza on March 18, 2014, 12:18:03 PM
Isn't that what ubiquitous mobile phones are for? Just give the person a call and ask if it is okay to come by in 20 minutes or whatever.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Syt on March 18, 2014, 12:29:24 PM
Quote from: The Brain on March 18, 2014, 11:03:02 AM
I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. So sure, they can knock themselves out.

Same here.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Jacob on March 18, 2014, 12:50:28 PM
It completely depends on the relationship you have with the people involved, and on the current situation and personality of the visited. There are some people I love have dropping by, and whom I'm happy to drop by on; and many others where I wouldn't possibly dream of doing so.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Iormlund on March 18, 2014, 12:55:59 PM
Quote from: The Brain on March 18, 2014, 11:03:02 AM
I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. So sure, they can knock themselves out.

Ditto.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: celedhring on March 18, 2014, 12:57:18 PM
Only if there's a slight word in advance. Something like "Hey, I'm in the neighborhood, it's ok to drop by?" is fine and it's something I do often with friends.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Monoriu on March 18, 2014, 03:44:44 PM
First of all, it is impossible for someone to come to my place without my express permission.  The security guards will simply not let them in. 

Having said that, if I find someone waiting for me at the gates unannounced, I will be very pissed.  I'll probably tell them they should come at another time. 
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: viper37 on March 18, 2014, 04:45:23 PM
Quote from: merithyn on March 18, 2014, 10:43:40 AM
A discussion at work had me thinking. I grew up in a house that was always open. It wasn't unusual for us to come home from the store to find a friend or two sitting on the back patio, having a beer, chatting and waiting for my parents to come home to visit. I'm pretty much unfazed when someone drops by unannounced, and if I've actually invited folks over, no one bothers to knock.

Two of my co-workers, on the other hand, intensely dislike "drop-bys". If they're going to have visitors, plans must be made, period.

Where do you guys fall on this?
I prefer to know in advance if someone is coming.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Viking on March 18, 2014, 04:55:26 PM
In principle I am in favour of it. But anybody "just dropping by" has to accept the response, no, you can't come in and I don't have to give you a good reason (no that was the sound of my wood-chipper and that isn't the smell of a decomposing corpse) for not letting you in.

So, yes, why not. It tells me the visitor wants me to like him, which is a nice feeling. But if I'm busy, tired, stressed or depressed he has no reason to object or be offended by a "fuck off".
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: DontSayBanana on March 18, 2014, 05:25:56 PM
Unannounced visits have generally been okay with me, but I've been finding them harder to manage as I've been getting busier in my professional and social life.  Generally now, I try to make sure stuff is planned more as a courtesy to the friends than as a courtesy to myself.

On the other hand, I've seen households where unannounced visits just create a logistical nightmare.  The girlfriends parents have three excitable dogs that need to be held whenever anybody pulls into the driveway, so unannounced visits create dogpocalypse and just set everybody's teeth on edge for the 10-15 minutes it takes for the dogs to calm down enough to stop trying to bounce on everybody.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 18, 2014, 05:29:22 PM
I loathe the drop by at dinner time. Stop mooching, you fucking assholes.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: DontSayBanana on March 18, 2014, 05:30:32 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 18, 2014, 05:29:22 PM
I loathe the drop by at dinner time. Stop mooching, you fucking assholes.

Oh, yeah.  That's the exception with me.  I've got no problem with grabbing a bite with a friend, but if you're mooching off a meal planned and cooked for the household, you're scum.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 18, 2014, 05:32:42 PM
Or they drop by at four and hang around waiting to be asked if they want something to eat. DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE HOMES?
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Admiral Yi on March 18, 2014, 06:06:21 PM
I like Puff's answer.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: KRonn on March 19, 2014, 01:02:51 PM
The people who would drop by unannounced are ok with me, as it's usually family, brother, etc. But with everyone else I wouldn't want it to happen all the time, but since it's such a rare occurrence I'm mostly ok with it.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Valmy on March 19, 2014, 01:19:24 PM
Family?  Sure.  Everybody else I would at least expect a warning call.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Grey Fox on March 19, 2014, 01:37:24 PM
I see my non-family opposition to this coming from 2 factors.

1. My gf is a bad host, so I will probably going to have stop whatever I am doing & atleast aknowledge you've come by
2. I'm a busy person, I've got shitz to do and you are messing up my schedule.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Capetan Mihali on March 19, 2014, 02:04:41 PM
Drop-by, no-knock searches by the police can be an inconvenience.  See Ice-T's "Six in the Mornin'" for the best illustration.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Caliga on March 19, 2014, 02:08:27 PM
Unannounced visitors get welcomed with shotgun blasts. :)
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: The Brain on March 19, 2014, 02:21:36 PM
Quote from: Caliga on March 19, 2014, 02:08:27 PM
Unannounced visitors get welcomed with shotgun blasts. :)

What's your office hours?
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Caliga on March 19, 2014, 02:24:23 PM
24/7, babe.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: The Brain on March 19, 2014, 02:26:00 PM
Don't call me, babe.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Caliga on March 19, 2014, 02:27:14 PM
Call me maybe? :wub:
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: garbon on March 19, 2014, 02:32:21 PM
Quote from: Caliga on March 19, 2014, 02:27:14 PM
Call me maybe? :wub:

I love that model-slash-rapper in the video!
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Caliga on March 19, 2014, 03:15:24 PM
I know! :perv:
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: garbon on March 19, 2014, 03:23:31 PM
His rapping skills are terrible though. :(
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Capetan Mihali on March 19, 2014, 03:50:03 PM
Quote from: The Brain on March 19, 2014, 02:21:36 PM
Quote from: Caliga on March 19, 2014, 02:08:27 PM
Unannounced visitors get welcomed with shotgun blasts. :)

What's your office hours?

:lol: We all know how the drunken Hasidic AmScip and his ultra-hazardous tort hounds feel about the topic.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: crazy canuck on March 19, 2014, 07:50:18 PM
Quote from: merithyn on March 18, 2014, 10:43:40 AM
A discussion at work had me thinking. I grew up in a house that was always open. It wasn't unusual for us to come home from the store to find a friend or two sitting on the back patio, having a beer, chatting and waiting for my parents to come home to visit. I'm pretty much unfazed when someone drops by unannounced, and if I've actually invited folks over, no one bothers to knock.

This is my view of things.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 19, 2014, 07:55:48 PM
Weirdos.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Josquius on March 19, 2014, 08:47:13 PM
Not after the age of 14 or so
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: HVC on March 19, 2014, 09:09:25 PM
Quote from: Tyr on March 19, 2014, 08:47:13 PM
Not after the age of 14 or so
perv
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: OttoVonBismarck on March 19, 2014, 10:59:13 PM
There's nothing on this earth I hate more than "drop ins."
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Eddie Teach on March 20, 2014, 12:10:29 AM
I don't experience these things.
Title: Re: Drop-by, no-call visits: Yay or Nay?
Post by: Josquius on March 20, 2014, 04:29:16 AM
Thinking about this actually...
For me it is a no.
But for my parents...I guess it depends on the person. For family and my godparents family it's totally OK and yeah, generally there's not even any knocking, just go right in.
With lesser known people they still drop by unannounced sometimes but knock.
We don't know anyone weird enough to come by unannounced whilst not being known enough for it to be comfortable. British people would naturally call ahead to check its OK.