Sci-fi/Fantasy recommendations

[Caliga]

Molly.

Hatchet?

[garbon]

Goodkind is, if not the worst author I've ever come across, certainly a member of the top three worst. I tried reading his first book many years ago and gave up somewhere around page 100 or so. By which point I already disliked both of his main characters, let alone his "prose".

Everything I've heard since makes me glad of that decision.

Brooks, however, I've always found to be readable even if his early books are derivative tosh and his later books seem determined to contradict bits of his earlier books. I'd certainly rate him on a level with a good deal of the Star Wars EU (and actually better than at least 20% of it, particularly the bits of the EU that the EU itself has airbrushed from history.)

Never tried Paolini (?); never wanted to. The jacket blurb on his first book failed to make it sound worth my time.

What you say kinda goes to my point, though: it seems that the bar for getting published in fantasy is very low, which is why so much of it seems so bad.  I am sure that, in absolute numbers, there are more bad writers in general fiction than in fantasy, but in relative numbers, fantasy seems the genre with the greatest problem with "derivative tosh" and horrible writing. 

Which isn't to say that there isn't lots of great fantasy books out there.  It's just that its a minefield.

So is Goodkind as good as this?

[The Brain]

Molly.

Hatchet?

No!

[grumbler]

So is Goodkind as good as this?

No, not nearly.

Hissing, hackles lifting, the chicken's head rose. Kahlan pulled back. Its claws digging into stiff dead flesh, the chicken slowly turned to face her. It cocked its head, making its comb flop, its wattles sway. "Shoo," Kahlan heard herself whisper. There wasn't enough light, and besides, the side of its beak was covered with gore, so she couldn't tell if it had the dark spot, But she didn't need to see it. "Dear spirits, help me," she prayed under her breath. The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken. This was evil manifest.

[garbon]

Evil manifest? Amazing!

[Agelastus]

Evil manifest? Amazing!

Sadly that's also the best line of the excerpt Grumbler posted.

I do have a question though. The text as written implies that some of the "Mud People's" chickens don't look like chickens...is this the case, and, if so, what do they look like? 

If anyone knows, of course.

This is one of the rare areas of knowledge where I don't think that my desire to know exceeds my desire to keep people from Goodkind's writings.

[Sheilbh]

Is that...real?

[Razgovory]

It doesn't help that he's also a huge fan of Ayn Rand and his stuff is apparently infused with that loony bullshit.  Also he's an arrogant prick by most accounts.

[crazy canuck]

Is that...real?

Iirc there is no evidence of any evil corrupting the chickens of the Mud People.

[Darth Wagtaros]

Goodkind is a hack with a rape fixation.

[grumbler]

Is that...real?

Yes.  Unbelievable as it sounds, the phrase "in that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken" was actually paid for and published.  And purchased, though the latter is of less interest to me than the former.

[Eddie Teach]

Schoolchildren have been familiar with that concept since the dawn of school lunches.

[grumbler]

I know that this is beating a dead horse, but someone else posted another bit of Goodkin goodness, in which the hero faces a bunch of pacifists "armed only with a hatred of moral clarity" and kills them all:

"No war! No war! No war!" the people shouted as Richard led the men up the street at a dead run.

"Out of the way!" Richard yelled as he closed the distance. This was no time for subtlety or discussions: the success of their attack depended in large part on speed. "Get out of the way! This is your only warning! Get out of the way or die!"

"Stop the hate! Stop the hate!" the people chanted as they locked arms.

They had no idea how much hate was raging through Richard. He drew the Sword of Truth. The wrath of its magic didn't come out with it, but he had enough of his own. He slowed to a trot.

"Move!" Richard called as he bore down on the people.

A plump, curly-haired woman took a step out from the others. Her round face was red with anger as she screamed. "Stop the hate! No war! Stop the hate! No war!"

"Move or die!" Richard yelled as he picked up speed.

The red-faced woman shook her fleshy fist at Richard and his men, leading an angry chant. "Murderers! Murderers! Murderers!"
On his way past her, gritting his teeth as he screamed with the fury of the attack begun, Richard took a powerful swing, lopping off the woman's head and upraised arm. Strings of blood and gore splashed across the faces behind her even as some still chanted their empty words. The head and loose arm tumbled through the crowd. A man made the mistake of reaching for Richard's weapon, and took the full weight of a charging thrust.

Men behind Richard hit the line of evil's guardians with unrestrained violence. People armed only with their hatred for moral clarity fell bloodied, terribly injured, and dead. The line of people collapsed before the merciless charge. Some of the people, screaming their contempt, used their fists to attack Richard's men. They were met with swift and deadly steel.

I think Goodkin really intended that you cheer for the armed-and-armored guys slaughtering the unarmed-and-unarmored anti-war protesters.  There is no evidence that Goodkin intended this as a spoof.

[grumbler]

More dead-horse beating, just 'cause it is fun:

Princess Violet glared at him. "My mother says that Confessor Kahlan will come back and that we'll have a surprise for her the next time she comes here. I just want you to know because my mother said you'll be dead by then. My mother says I get to decide what to do to her. First, I'm going to cut off her hair." Her hands were in fists, her face red. "Then I'm going to let all the guards rape her, every one! Then I'm going to put her in the dungeon for a few years so they'll have someone to play with! Then when I get tired of hurting her, I'll have her head chopped off and put it on a pole where I can watch it rot!"

Richard actually felt sorry for the little Princess. The sadness for her came over him in a wave. At that feeling, he was surprised to feel the thing in him that had come awake rise up.

Princess Violet squeezed her eyes shut, stuck her tongue out far as she could.

It was like a red flag.

The strength of the awakened power exploded through him.

He could feel her jaw shatter like a crystal goblet on a stone floor when his boot came up under it. The impact of the blow lifted the Princess into the air. Her own teeth severed her tongue before they, too, shattered. She landed on her back, a good distance away, trying to scream through the gushing blood.

Yes, the phrase "he was surprised to feel the thing in him that had come awake rise up" was paid for and published.  Dunno dafuq it means.

Oh, and this attack was on an eight-year-old girl.  Our hero is quite heroic.

[Syt]

I think Goodkin really intended that you cheer for the armed-and-armored guys slaughtering the unarmed-and-unarmored anti-war protesters.  There is no evidence that Goodkin intended this as a spoof.

So he's like Frank Miller, then?