Open mariages and paternity

[merithyn]

To be fair, I think most of us were approaching the question from the standpoint of wanting to protect our friend's kin, who happens to be the guy in the relationship. We can only see the situation through Meri's eyes, and that seems to be the most likely interest she's got in the game, assuming she takes any interest at all.

You don't know her very well if you think that's the most likely interest she has in the game.

[Barrister]

To be fair, I think most of us were approaching the question from the standpoint of wanting to protect our friend's kin, who happens to be the guy in the relationship. We can only see the situation through Meri's eyes, and that seems to be the most likely interest she's got in the game, assuming she takes any interest at all.

You don't know her very well if you think that's the most likely interest she has in the game.

Max, just remember you can say "no" if Meri asks you about trying new things in your marriage...

[merithyn]

To be fair, I think most of us were approaching the question from the standpoint of wanting to protect our friend's kin, who happens to be the guy in the relationship. We can only see the situation through Meri's eyes, and that seems to be the most likely interest she's got in the game, assuming she takes any interest at all.

You don't know her very well if you think that's the most likely interest she has in the game.

Max, just remember you can say "no" if Meri asks you about trying new things in your marriage...

[Malthus]

Having had my own baby, I now like all babies more than I ever did before.

This is true. In particular since I know I can hold them then hand them off to their parents to do all the hard work.

A/K/A "the grandparent effect". 

[dps]

Semi-related, I definitely see a big difference in how my wife, I, and most people we know act towards nieces & nephews that are and are not blood relations.

I don't find that at all.

I'm much closer to aa's sister's kids than I am to my brother's kid.  Though that's probably because we lived next door to aa's sister and her husband and are around their kids a lot, whereas I've only seen my brother's son a couple of times. 

[Eddie Teach]

Well, but then there's that awkwardness that comes if one day you stop being their uncle. That never happens for the blood relatives.

[Iormlund]

If later, they should split up and it gets ugly, if they find out that the child isn't his biological child, what happens?

IIRC in Spain acting in loco parentis makes you responsible for that child regardless of biological paternity. So if they split, he's fucked.

[Iormlund]

There are horror stories about men losing visitation rights and connections with their children, too, but it was the money you guys thought about.

It's not just the money. Here the children also get to stay in the house, usually with their mother as they normally win custody rights. So the ex-hubby gets to move back home with his parents - being unable to get a place of his own since housing prices are nuts and he still has to pay the mortgage of the place where his wife and kids live.