NSFW rant about an entitled female pseudo-lawyer who drives a Porsche Cayenne S

[Scipio]

So, my douchebag neighbor lawyer (well, two blocks away, anyway) and his ho-bag wife for no fucking reason just stone-cold pimped me out to the city court judge with a totally bogus accusation.

To wit, the ho-bag was speeding in her Cayenne (as her husband always says, "It's one of three in the Hattiesburg area, and the only one that's grey"), and she got pulled over by our HPD champion ticket writer.  He is known for pulling over blondes with nice tits.  The ho-bag is a blonde with nice tits.  But he's also known for righteous ticket-writing, and for not helping people out.  He wrote a speeding ticket for his academy roommate's wife when she was driving to meet her mom at the ER, and wouldn't fix the ticket.

So douchebag says, "Hey, Scipio, can you help my wife out with a ticket?"

Mind you, I am the felony prosecutor.  I am never in traffic court, unless the full-time prosecutor is sick.  But I asked him, "Who gave her the ticket?  Cause I got to tell you, I saw she was pulled over by a city cop the other day."

So he tells me, and I say, "He doesn't fix tickets.  Her best bet is to go in there and to try to sweet talk him."

So instead ho-bag goes in and says, "Scipio told my husband he would fix the ticket."  Needless to say, the judge hit the roof, and the officer was pissed as well.  This happened on Tuesday.  I just found out today.

So, I never used to have a shit list.

Now I do.  And there are two people on top of it.

[lustindarkness]

Caltrops, easy to make and deploy.

[mongers]

No toasters* were harmed in the production of this shit storm.   


* too early

[Scipio]

No toasters* were harmed in the production of this shit storm.   


* too early

Nah, it's been 151 years.

[katmai]

I try to drop your name every time i get a ticket, sure it is here in Alaska....

[mongers]

No toasters* were harmed in the production of this shit storm.   


* too early

Nah, it's been 151 years.

OK. 

Is his situation in part driven by local political/administration rivalries/tensions ?

Sounds like they're using it as an inadvertent opportunity to take a pot at you ?

[Scipio]

No toasters* were harmed in the production of this shit storm.   


* too early

Nah, it's been 151 years.

OK. 

Is his situation in part driven by local political/administration rivalries/tensions ?

Sounds like they're using it as an inadvertent opportunity to take a pot at you ?

I sued her fucking parents for a client of mine.  And lost, because my client was a dumbass and wouldn't follow my advice.

[mongers]

No toasters* were harmed in the production of this shit storm.   


* too early

Nah, it's been 151 years.

OK. 

Is his situation in part driven by local political/administration rivalries/tensions ?

Sounds like they're using it as an inadvertent opportunity to take a pot at you ?

I sued her fucking parents for a client of mine.  And lost, because my client was a dumbass and wouldn't follow my advice.

Oh so more personal 'revenge' ?

Downside of practising in a relatively small 'town' ?

[CountDeMoney]

He is known for pulling over blondes with nice tits.  The ho-bag is a blonde with nice tits.  But he's also known for righteous ticket-writing, and for not helping people out.

Ah, so two douche bags rolled into one.  Not many cops can handle that balancing act.

So instead ho-bag goes in and says, "Scipio told my husband he would fix the ticket."  Needless to say, the judge hit the roof, and the officer was pissed as well.

OH SNAP

[merithyn]

What does "fix a ticket" mean?

[Grey Fox]

Do you know the Cayenne represents something like 54% of all Porches sales?

[CountDeMoney]

I try to drop your name every time i get a ticket, sure it is here in Alaska....

The key is to drop PLJ's name in Jacksonville, and subsequently showered with hookers and blow.

[DontSayBanana]

What does "fix a ticket" mean?

Prosecutor recommends dropping charges, judge agrees, poor sap pays a mandatory appearance fee in the form of court costs, no points, no conviction.

Catch is you never, ever ask for it.  Also, it HAS to come from the traffic prosecutor that's there that day.

[C.C.R.]

What does "fix a ticket" mean?

Circular File the paperwork, as if it never happened...

[crazy canuck]

What does "fix a ticket" mean?

I am waiting for Malthus' porn version of what that might mean.