Elementary school shooting reported in Newtown, Conn.

[Queequeg]

(he had been accepted at U. of Arizona),

A clue!

If you believe the Klebold's in their description of Dylan's life, I think it's obvious he was an unhappy kid but nothing that would make me (and my daughter isn't that age yet) as a parent think "we need to get this kid professional help, this kid needs immediate intervention etc." They did try talking to him, and he was communicative and usually was able to explain himself to them in a way that kept them from thinking there was a truly serious problem afoot.

Yeah, he knew what he was doing with his parents to keep them off his trail, as they would be his biggest obstacle to anything he wanted to accomplish.  He was as manipulative with them as he was with Harris, knowing exactly what he was doing with those individuals around him.  A true sociopath.

Sure you don't have those switched up? I've heard the opposite.

[CountDeMoney]

Meh, maybe; it was catered, and I was drowsy.

[Neil]

Guns are cheaper than psychiatric help.

[Caliga]

Sure you don't have those switched up? I've heard the opposite.

Meaning Harris was the leader and Klebold the follower, right?  If so then that's what I had thought as well.

[Queequeg]

Sure you don't have those switched up? I've heard the opposite.

Meaning Harris was the leader and Klebold the follower, right?  If so then that's what I had thought as well.

Yeah, that's what Wikipedia says. And Wikipedia is never wrong.

[OttoVonBismarck]

Sure you don't have those switched up? I've heard the opposite.

Meaning Harris was the leader and Klebold the follower, right?  If so then that's what I had thought as well.

I think Seedy may be talking more about Harris with the sociopathy stuff, too. I don't know much about Harris (I don't know if he kept detailed journals like Klebold did), but Klebold was much more of the depressed/suicidal mindset than true sociopathy. Klebold and Harris both, from what I can tell, were very good at convincing adults they weren't seriously disturbed. When they go into trouble breaking into the van, both made extremely good impressions on the juvenile court judge and the probation officer that handled their community service/etc they had to do in order to get their record expunged. They actually got released from that program early because the case worker thought they were such good kids who had just made a mistake. So both had a talent for masking.

If you ever read Klebold's mother's essay she wrote (I think originally for the Oprah web page) it is really troubling how she described her son...because there really wasn't any major red flags. The one serious red flag would have been his short story about trench coat wearing men committing a school massacre, but school officials decided not to share the content of that short story with her. After the van incident, both the parents of Klebold and Harris thought they were not really close friends any longer. At first they were no longer allowed to see each other as there was a feeling they were a bad influence on each other, but even after that prohibition was lifted they weren't close friends (at least outwardly) like before. However a few nights before the shooting, Harris spent the night at Klebold's house for the first time in a long time. It's possible they had masked their continuing friendship from their parents since it had received unwanted attention, only acting openly closer to the end.

I've always wondered, the day of the shooting Klebold got up early to drive to school. His mother said he was typically hard to get up in the morning so she was shocked when she heard him come out of his room and head to the driveway so early. She tried to stop him to talk, but he acted in a hurry and just shouted "bye" and kept going. She assumed that maybe he had agreed to pick someone up for school (I guess he had done that before) and was busy. I've always wondered what would have happened if she had actually stopped him and seen him, because in her account she never actually got a look at him, just saw him whiz past and yell "bye" when she called after him. Most likely with all the ordinance he was carrying she would have noticed, makes you wonder if he would have killed her too.

[Queequeg]

That's a very interesting article OvB, thanks for bringing it up.

Lanza's psychology is seemingly pretty far removed from garden variety antisocial personality disorder or depression.  There is no dynamic relationship to be caught up in.  Purposefully targeting the most innocent members of society with seemingly no connection to yourself. Very strange. 

[Queequeg]

Seems to have far closer relationship with recent mass attacks in East Asia than workplace or school massacres.  Can't think of close American parallels.

[PDH]

Given the fact that the end of the world is coming, the economy is going to collapse, and that Obama is going to steal all the guns I am surprises that there haven't been more crazy things happening.  In a way, it gives on faith in the inertia of inactivity in the face of human stupidity.

[merithyn]

I remember before I knew a lot about Klebold I assumed his parents either abused him, he was bullied a lot, and/or his parents were just bad parents. But none of those things really appears to be true, at least that I've ever seen. It's like around mid-junior high, he want from being athletic, outgoing, lots of friends, to being shy and quiet. He was a gifted kid academically and then went to being very average grade wise, as if he had lost all interest in school.

This immediately makes me wonder if he were sexually assaulted at some point in there. It often has that affect on children, happens often to boys at that age, and isn't something they would ever talk about even in their own personal writings for fear someone would find it and label them "queer".

[Monoriu]

I heard on TV that the school psychologist was killed.  Talk about in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Out of the 30 or 50 or whatever number of schools that the psychologist was responsible for, she had to visit that particular school at that time. 

[OttoVonBismarck]

CBS NEWS/ December 17, 2012, 4:20 AM
Ex-babysitter: Mother of Newtown, Conn. school shooter Adam Lanza warned me about him

HERMOSA BEACH A man who says he once babysat for Newtown, Conn. gunman Adam Lanza says he recalls Lanza's mother warning him never to turn his back on the boy - not even to go to the bathroom.

Ryan Kraft now lives in Hermosa Beach, in Southern California.

But, he tells CBS station KCBS in Los Angeles, he was once a student at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., and babysat for Lanza when Lanza was about 9 or 10 and Kraft was 14 or 15.

Police say Lanza, 20, went on a rampage in the school Friday, killing 20 six- and seven-year-olds and six adults before taking his own life. Lanza also shot his mother, Nancy Lanza, to death in the nearby home they shared before heading to the school, authorities say.

The brief, enigmatic life of mass-murderer Adam Lanza
Kraft tells KCBS when he first heard about the shooting and that Lanza was involved, "I just couldn't think for a little while. I was shaking."

He says he recalls Nancy Lanza cautioning him never to turn his back on Adam -- "to keep an eye on him at all times ... to never turn my back, or even to go to the bathroom or anything like that."

Kraft says he remembers Lanza as quiet, very intelligent and introverted, noting, "Whenever we were doing something, whether it was building Legos, or playing video games, he was really focused on it. It was like he was in his own world."

Kraft is still having trouble believing the kid he babysat could have been involved in such unspeakable horror. "I'm just numb to it, I haven't really processed the fact that this happened right where I used to be, and that, 15 years ago, it could have been me."

Nancy Lanza, says Kraft, was very involved in her children's lives and loved them very much.

He says that, rather than feeling helpless, he decided to start a fundraiser to help the children of Newton, especially the ones who will be dealing with post traumatic stress disorder.

Kraft, who moved to California after college, also wants the money to go to helping families pay funeral expenses and to help establish a scholarship fund for survivors.

Kraft's fundraising page took in more than $53,000 in one day.

© 2012 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.

That's a strange thing for a mother to say, I wonder if it was meant as "he's prone to dangerous behavior" or more "he can't be trusted not to injure himself." Something I've heard from mental health professionals is these days parents won't turn their kids over to group homes or institutions like they would have in the 60s/70s. The feeling is, if you have a messed up kid it's your job to give up your career and do everything possible to keep them in the home. But sometimes kids are too profoundly mentally ill, developmentally disabled or etc to be safely cared for in the home, by even the most attentive parents.

[OttoVonBismarck]

"I Am Adam Lanza's Mother": When Parents Are Afraid of Their Children
By Susanna Schrobsdorff Dec. 17, 2012

Most parents in the United States have spent the last few days imagining what it would be like to be the mother or father of one of the 20 little school children murdered on Friday in Connecticut.  Each detail that emerges from that stricken community brings many of us to tears. And of course we think, what if a madman came our child's school in a rage with a gun?

But there's another group of parents who watched this horror story unfurl with an opposite and perhaps more excruciating thought—what if the madman were my child?

These mothers and fathers, parents of mentally ill children and young adults can't say that they are afraid of their own children or admit that they know what it's like to have a bright child whose rages could, under circumstances they can't predict, lead them to kill innocent people the way that Adam Lanza is alleged to have done at Sandy Hook Elementary.  And they can't find comfort in the wake of a national tragedy by sharing their feelings around the water cooler like the rest of do.

(MORE: A Blood Test for Autism?)

But this week, one of these mothers stepped forward with an eloquent, wrenching cry for help that has echoed across the web. In a blog post republished on The Blue Review entitled "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," Liza Long writes: "I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me...."

She goes on:  "I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza's mother. I am Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's mother. I am James Holmes's mother. I am Jared Loughner's mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho's mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness."

Long describes the love she has for her 13-year-old son, a brilliant boy who loves Harry Potter and has a "snuggle animal collection." But according to her, this same child has also threatened her with a knife so many times that she keeps a Tupperware container for the days she has to collect all the sharp objects in the house. Nothing really helps she says: the powerful meds, the intermittent hospitalizations, or what she calls a "Russian novel of behavioral plans." She says she's trained trained her other children to lock themselves away for their own safety when their brother falls into one of his unpredictable rages.

(PHOTOS: Newtown–Images of a Community in Mourning)

She lays out agonizing choices she says she's been given which include having her child charged with a crime so that he is put in prison, a place that would surely exacerbate his symptoms and would not necessarily keep him or the community safe.  After all, you can't keep someone indefinitely locked up for a terrible crime they haven't committed,  and will likely never commit.

It's a world of family turmoil that most of us can't begin to comprehend and which may or may not be similar to struggles of Adam Lanza's mother, but  in any case, Long's essay resonated and the response has been enormous.  The piece has been forwarded endlessly on Facebook and reblogged by national media sites.  And more  than 1,500 people have commented on Long's original blog post.

Most commenters wrote to express their sympathies but there were also many who wanted to tell Long that she is not alone.  These are people we don't normally hear from unless a tragedy occurs. They are the  mothers, the fathers, and  the siblings of boys like Michael.  These are the parents who report having to hide their knives or sleep with their bedroom doors locked.  And in some cases, the commenters were young men who say they are plagued by the same demons as Long's son.

Their testimonies form a trail of heartbreak that stretches for dozens of pages.

"Your story is my story and it is a very scary and often lonely path," writes one parent. "As my son gets older and stronger the fear of what may be looms closer and closer and I just want to have the smart, sensitive sweet boy with me all the time, not the boy that when he says he wants to kill me, I believe him. The boy who wants to be tucked in at night with his stuffed animals and snuggles our dog, not the boy who can lift me off the ground in a rage and slam me into a wall. I pray daily for some kind of help."

"Rachael" writes to say that her brother is a boy like Michael—evidence of the pain that these illnesses can cause an entire family:  "I can't believe it. You just described my brother. They say he's aspergers, but I don't know if that accounts for all of it. He's normally really sweet, sensitive, and very very smart, but when he snaps, he curses, hurts people, throws things, threatens suicide, and pulls knives. I have scars from where he's scratched or strangled me."

Some commenters send suggestions for treatments that have worked for them from diets to 24/7 hospitalization. Some even suggest that Long subject her son to an exorcism which speaks to the longstanding and devastating connection that is made between mental illness and evil.

And perhaps the most striking comments came from boys like Michael:  "I was your son," writes one.  "I feel for you and him both. You sound exactly like my mother, to a T. It is really hard to see these scenarios play out for another family. I feel for you and him both.

I refused pharmaceutical medication and bucked every diagnosis thrown at me."

This young man goes onto say that spending time in nature, watching comedy and listening to a radio advice line called "Love Line" helped him. But for so many, the problem is beyond that. And for their parents, the years after their troubled children leave home are just as fraught as the time before. "Robert" writes:  "We have a son with mental illness. Now that he is an 'adult' in the eyes of the law, he's decided he does not want to pursue any sort of treatment. Our hands are tied."

With mass murders increasing in frequency,  getting  young men like that treatment is a national issue.  Nevada and New York are among a few states that have some legal measures parents and relatives can take (with the recommendation of psychiatrists) to mandate that over-18 year-olds get outpatient psychiatric care when warranted. But often, mothers and fathers are left with the all the worry and very little control.  (Those laws, like Kendra's Law and Laura's Law, are named for people who've been killed by the mentally ill.)

And it's because of the terrible specter not just of more massacres, but also of the numerous other incidents of violence that don't make the national news, that Long's post is becoming a rallying cry for those fighting to get increased access and funding for mental health services.  "HOW CAN WE HELP?" asked one of the commenters.  It's a question that the nation should certainly be asking as we debate how to prevent tragedies like the one that has devastated Newtown.

by Taboola

I should mention I'm not totally blaming parents of the mentally ill for not hospitalizing them. Most States there are treatment centers you can force your child into until 18, but at 18 a mental health commissioner can decide they are not an imminent threat to self or others and then the best you could get is a temporary psychiatric  hold anytime they do something...but most likely unless they are full on psychotic they'll be approved for release quickly and be back in the community.

When my wife did her psychiatric rotation she talked about a guy who had killed two people outside before basically being sent to the state psychiatric hospital for life. (There is no such thing as a life commitment, but he is considered untreatable and a threat at all times.) So this guy, he is so psychotic if he's off his meds for any period of time he becomes homicidal. This has happened twice while in the State hospital. One time when it happened, he killed a nurse. The other time, he beat another patient unconscious then propped the leg of a bed up on the side of the guy's head and then jumped on the bed--watermelon city. Now he's medicated 24/7. The only medications that keep him under control basically make him a drooling vegetable, but if they miss even one dosing he becomes violently dangerous.

Those are the easy cases. It's obvious that guy is simply untreatably mentally ill and should never be in society, in truth I think he's a good candidate for euthanasia as he gets virtually no enjoyment out of life drugged but is a violent monster without. But unfortunately he's quite rare, most mentally ill people who are dangerous are often perfectly fine at times, and if those times last long enough they can get approved for release by psychiatrists.

[CountDeMoney]

I heard on TV that the school psychologist was killed.  Talk about in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Out of the 30 or 50 or whatever number of schools that the psychologist was responsible for, she had to visit that particular school at that time.

Most school districts have psychologists that are usually attached to only one school, Mono, depending on budget and student size.  That one was hers.
Big difference between here and your hive mind collective culture.

[DGuller]

I heard on TV that the school psychologist was killed.  Talk about in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Out of the 30 or 50 or whatever number of schools that the psychologist was responsible for, she had to visit that particular school at that time.

Mono, in US, even home schools have a full time psychiatrist.  Those prescriptions for ADD medicine don't write themselves.  Besides, if she were commuting to 30-50 different schools, she'd need her own private jet.