The State of Affairs in Russia

[CountDeMoney]

He's a gazillionaire.  He's probably holed up in a resort somewhere, up to his ass in ass for Asspalooza '15.

[Martinus]

I was referring to a False Putin.

[DGuller]

  Well, it's now or never to get Putin removed.  I really don't want to get my hopes up, but it would be nice if it were now a week ago.

[Valmy]

I was referring to a False Putin.

Try to get a second False Putin just in case.

[Jacob]

I was referring to a False Putin.

Try to get a second False Putin just in case.

We should get one from Jamaica.

We could call him Ras Putin.

[Agelastus]

I was referring to a False Putin.

Try to get a second False Putin just in case.

Although going with a third would be just crass these days, even for the Poles.

[Martinus]

Kremlin Planning Major Announcement, Stage Being Constructed in Red Square
The Pundit Press ^ | 3/13/2015 | Thomas
Posted on 14 Mar 2015 02:16:35 CET by therightliveswithus

In the midst of Vladimir Putin's mysterious absence, it appears that the Kremlin is announcing something big. Pictures of Putin allegedly meeting a leading judge today may be formerly staged photos. Beyond this, a large stage is being built in Red Square– right near Boris Nemstov's murder:

The Kremlin has now announced that there will be a major announcement in the next couple of days. It has advised journalists not to leave Moscow. The exact announcement is still unknown but sparking speculation.

A source in the press service of the President of Russia says he is preparing a major announcement in the near future; and for this reason, heads of relevant media are asked to be ready in the next few days for a possible press conference.

This was indirectly confirmed by the CEO of the Center for Political Information polit-info, Alexei Mukhin.

Looks like Putin has been fooling us all along and secretly working on the Transcendence Victory. 

[DGuller]

They can't be building that stage for the funeral, can they? 

[Martinus]

They can't kill him. He will come back more powerful than you could ever imagine.

[Syt]

Possibilities:
1. Some show act related to Nemtsov's murder. Maybe Putin will break the "assassins'" necks with one hand?
2. Putin declares war on any Western country with a sizable Russian minority "to bring the country home."
3. Putin reveals that he has been an alien lizard man all the time.

My avatar waits with bated breath.

[celedhring]

Possibilities:
1. Some show act related to Nemtsov's murder. Maybe Putin will break the "assassins'" necks with one hand?
2. Putin declares war on any Western country with a sizable Russian minority "to bring the country home."
3. Putin reveals that he has been an alien lizard man all the time.

My avatar waits with bated breath.

4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2L4344n_48

[Tonitrus]

Probably announcing marriage to the mother of his love child.

[Syt]

http://www.businessinsider.com/whats-happening-with-putin-and-russia-2015-3?IR=T

Russia is preparing for something at the Kremlin while Putin's absence baffles everyone

Kremlin-controlled TV informed millions of Russians about a meeting between President Vladimir Putin and his Kyrgyz counterpart Almazbek Atambayev. Nothing unusual about that, right?

Wrong.

The meeting between the two leaders of the former Soviet republics isn't due to take place until Monday. But that didn't stop the newsreader on the Rossiya 24 channel reading out the following item – all in the past tense.

"The Kremlin also reports that Vladimir Putin met with Kyrgyzstan President Almazbek Atambayev on Monday. They talked about cooperation in investment and humanitarian spheres, as well as the energy sector. They also discussed the possibility of Kyrgyzstan joining the Eurasian Economic Union."

Before we get to Monday, as most of you are undoubtedly aware, we have to get past the weekend first. A spokesperson for Rossiya 24 quickly announced the news item had been a mistake. And, on a normal day, that would have been that.

But these are not normal times in Russia. Putin hasn't been seen in public for over a week. This prolonged absence has sparked rumors that Russia's long-serving national leader is ill. Or has been deposed in a coup. Or is dead. Or is visiting his alleged lover, the "extremely flexible gymnast," Alina Kabaeva, who reportedly gave birth to a baby Putin in Switzerland today. Take your pick.

Rossiya 24's inadvertent act of fortune-telling has already been labeled "Guests from the Future" on social media, a reference to a well-loved Soviet children's film. But beneath the laughter, there is concern that Russia could be on the edge of another one of the cataclysmic events that seem to swing around these parts every few years.

Was Rossiya 24's report on Putin's meeting prepared in advance, because the Kremlin knew he would not be attending? Was it part of a cover up that was inadvertently aired ahead of time? Either way, it's added to a general atmosphere of confusion and apprehension in Russia right now. "I was dreaming of Putin all night," a friend in Moscow told me. "I dreamed he'd been kidnapped and was being marched off somewhere."

True, the NTV channel aired images Friday of Putin meeting with supreme court president Vyacheslav Lebedev at his Novo-Ogaryovo presidential residence outside Moscow. But as there was no proof the footage was actually filmed Friday, that did little to stop the rumors. After all, the Kremlin has already been caught out once before this week, when it tried to pass off old photographs as new ones as evidence of Putin's activities.

So when a line of mysterious trucks was photographed outside the Kremlin's walls Friday evening, and seating for hundreds of people was laid out on Red Square, the rumor mill went into overdrive again. Someone quickly spliced together footage of Putin saying "and snuffed it," over a grimy hip-hop beat, and uploaded the clip to YouTube.

"Has he really snuffed it?" asked one Facebook user. But the trucks and seating, it turned out, are for a concert to celebrate the first anniversary of the Kremlin's annexation of Crimea. "What are you all on about?" asked another Facebook user. "Putin's fine, don't you know? He's already met the president of Kyrgyzstan on Monday."

Will Putin finally show on Monday? Or will the mystery deepen? All will be revealed after the weekend. That is, of course, if there are no twists in this story before then. Keep watching Russia.

[Eddie Teach]

Maybe he's visiting a mistress in Argentina?

[CountDeMoney]

Or is visiting his alleged lover, the "extremely flexible gymnast," Alina Kabaeva,

  No truer words.