Calling Languish parents: Why did you decide to have children?

[Malthus]

Is he our only psychopath?

Membership in Languish reverses the onus on this question. 

[dps]

Which also brings us back to the question asked of me in the beginning - why do I decide not to have children - because I am not convinced I would have personality traits that would make me a good parent. The fact that people I consider my lessers have children is not a good enough cause for me to lower my standards.

See, that's actually kind of admirable--forgoing having children because of doubts that one would make a good parent.  The thing is, nobody else here has the right to make that judgment for you, and you don't have the right to make it for them, either.

[The Minsky Moment]

Ok, I guess we have to agree to disagree - because my point is that people shouldn't have children unless they are convinced they will be good parents providing the child with the best circumstances - not vice versa.

Which also brings us back to the question asked of me in the beginning - why do I decide not to have children - because I am not convinced I would have personality traits that would make me a good parent. The fact that people I consider my lessers have children is not a good enough cause for me to lower my standards.

That's a more nuanced position than what you were advocating on page 1.

[Barrister]

-Personalities - lots of different kinds of personalities make wonderful parents.  From easygoing to hardnosed, hoghbrow to lowbrow, all can make good parents.  If someone is a psycopath unable to empathize with others they should probably not have children - but the personality types who absolutely should not have children are pretty limited.

With this reasoning I think we've reached a middle ground. By that criterion, it's best if Marty doesn't have kids; but the rest of us are good to go. Thus we can all be satisfied.

Well done

Is he our only psychopath?

Please note for the record I am not calling Martinus a psycopath.

[katmai]

He's not a psychopath, he's just a douche.

[CountDeMoney]

Now Lettow...that nigga could pop into Serial Killer Mode any fucking minute.  Squee.

[Razgovory]

Such concerns only apply in extreme circumstances, where for whatever reasons having a kid is likely to result in that kid living a miserable existence - such as extreme poverty unlikely to change.

I disagree - what about a risk of hereditary diseases. Or parents having bad personality traits. Or having already a couple of children and the fact that they won't have as much time to dedicate to their upbringing if they bring a new one into the fold. Or living in a deteriorating relationship and hoping selfishly that bringing a child into this mess will help them "rekindle" the love. All such people should seriously consider if they should have children.

If you extrapolate a bit on that, does that mean you are advocating prescreening of foetus for undiserable effects, such as hereditary diseases? In essence advocating the whole "designer baby" trend?

Apart from the moral and ethical unpleasantness of that line of thought and the obvious historic spectre it raises it would be scientifically stupid to do

The whole idea of natual procreation is diversity, that includes hereditary diseases. Bear in mind that many of these diseases are thought to be genetic mutations in reaction to some external or internal thread thousands of years ago, including violent microbes. By designing off all diseases you may end up killing immunity for something that could turn out to be vital.

V

I wonder if Marty's parents would have had him if they knew he was going to be gay.

[Martinus]

I wonder if Marty's parents would have had him if they knew he was going to be gay.

Seeing how they didn't have a problem with that, I think they would. Now, the better question is - would your parents have you? Considering your mother left you, it's debatable.

[Eddie Teach]

She didn't leave him, she left his dad. 

[Razgovory]

I wonder if Marty's parents would have had him if they knew he was going to be gay.

Seeing how they didn't have a problem with that, I think they would. Now, the better question is - would your parents have you? Considering your mother left you, it's debatable.

They don't have a problem with it now.  How about in 1970's communist Poland would they be so understanding then?  Homosexuality was regarded as disease in communist Poland and communist propaganda certainly demonized it.  Would it have been moral to bring into the world a person who was to be despised and and regarded as chronically mentally ill his whole life?  Who would have been regarded as politically suspect and wouldn't be able to get a good job?  Remember in the 1970's Poland, they had no reason to believe the Soviets would leave.  Not to mention the selfish desire of having a child that is like the parent, a child that may provide parents grandchildren one day and extend the family line.

It's not "better" to talk about me.  I'm not the one who started a thread on the morality of having children.  Let's keep the discussion on your favorite person, you, for the time being

[Rex Francorum]

yeah


Interesting raise of topic. Marty is well in the age-range where most single heteros switch to panic mode, settle and have kids ASAP. Those who don't, seem to pay for their freedom with doubt over their decision, and a lonely old age.
Instead of paying for the calm of succumbing to society and biology and not dying alone, with sacraficing their freedom and well-being for others, of course.

Still, my point is: do gay people have the "omg I must settle and have kids so I won't slip into lone madness when I am old" urges?

I am hetero and I don't want kids so it is not only a gay thing.

[garbon]

You're alive!

[mongers]

You're alive!

I thought of him the other day, when I walked thru this gate:



In the room above the gate, Handel composed some works. 

Or am I mixing you up with another languishite who was a Handel enthusiast ?

[katmai]

No that was Rex.

[Valdemar]

Aren't you the one who brought up your wife? I agree that what he's doing is crass but if you didn't want him to attack her, not sure why you brought her up in this quagmire of a thread.

As I said earlier, I made a casual observation that she is a lonely child in response to a casual observation by Brazen that lonely children perhaps felt less inclined to have kids... I wouldn't say that in any way means that she is "brought" into this thread in such a way that should be reason for that kind of comments.

As to the CC comment the Pole made, he has made it before, only to me, and not including IIRC my family. he isn't overly creative.. couldn't he at least have made it a more exotic death than cancer? Polonium210 for instance

V