Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

[CountDeMoney]

That's so fucking adorable.

[Barrister]

So I'm sitting watching the Jets game last night.  Tim is sitting on my lap.

He proudly announces "I tooted!", but then he asks "where did the toot go?"

I say it went up in the sky.  Tim asks "Up in the sky like an airplane?"  I say sure, like an airplane.

Tim thinks for a bit, the decides that "the toot went to the airport then went up in the sky".

[Ed Anger]

God feeds off toots.

[derspiess]

So I'm sitting watching the Jets game last night.  Tim is sitting on my lap.

He proudly announces "I tooted!", but then he asks "where did the toot go?"

I say it went up in the sky.  Tim asks "Up in the sky like an airplane?"  I say sure, like an airplane.

Tim thinks for a bit, the decides that "the toot went to the airport then went up in the sky".

They get confused when they grow a little older and suddenly their toots aren't as cute.

Lola rarely had gas even as an infant but she had a big one the other day that scared her

[Admiral Yi]

Beeb, I think you're great, your kids are great, this thread is great.  But that last story about the toots going to the airport went full Family Circus.

[CountDeMoney]

That's so fucking adorable.

[Barrister]

My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house.


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.

I spoke with my wife over the phone today.  I asked what Timmy was doing.

"Oh he's standing at our bedroom window, waiting for the garbage truck to come".



We had told him yesterday that the garbage truck was coming today...

[Barrister]

Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

He'll come up to me and say "elephants walk like this" (he then gets on his hands and feet), "elephants drink water with their trunks" (he puts his arm to his face to act as a trunk) "elephants go phooooo!" (his arm-trunk goes up in the air and he makes a sound like an elephant) "elephants go stomp stomp stomp" (he stomps around on the floor - this might be his favourite part) and "elephants wriggle their ears" (his uses his hands to wiggle his ears)

[katmai]

Better start reading him Babar and show him how proper elephants act.

[Syt]

[Malthus]

Better start reading him Babar and show him how proper elephants act.

As gigolos for rich old Frenchwomen? 

[CountDeMoney]

Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

Have you explained to him that there will likely be none living in the wild during his lifetime?

[derspiess]

My kid is two.  Like any two year old he loves big loud trucks.  His favourites are fire trucks, but school buses, garbage trucks, road graders and the like are all fascinating to him.

Tuesday was garbage day.  My wife, hearing the garbage truck, took Timmy outside to watch the garbage truck.  I guess the garbagemen knew they had an audience, because they proceeded to back up to each house in the cul-de-sac, emptied the garbage, and crushed the garbage in the compactor after each and every house.


Andrew, on the other hand, got his first time in the Jolly Jumper last night.  He liked it.

I spoke with my wife over the phone today.  I asked what Timmy was doing.

"Oh he's standing at our bedroom window, waiting for the garbage truck to come".



We had told him yesterday that the garbage truck was coming today...

That's awesome.  Garbage truck comes by our house at around 6:30 in the morning.  Used to scare the shit out of Tommy.

[derspiess]

Timmy likes to tell me about elephants, and to act them out.

Have you explained to him that there will likely be none living in the wild during his lifetime?

What do you think zoos are for?  It's not like he's likely to go on a safari

[Barrister]

An Andrew story tonight.

So he's 7 months old, going on 8.  We can pull himself up to standing and cruise around on furniture like nobody's business.

He also just learned to blow his lips together and blow raspberries. Pbbbbllllttttt!

So tonight he'd pull himself up on the couch, cruise over to me, and start blowing raspberries at me.  I'd blow one back, and we had a whole spit-filled 'conversation' blowing raspberries back and forth.