Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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jimmy olsen

#330
February 20, 2013, 03:08:41 AM
Those with young Languish readers may be interested in this. -_-


F is for Fugitive
It is far better for the truth to tear my flesh to pieces, then for my soul to wander through darkness in eternal damnation.

Jet: So what kind of woman is she? What's Julia like?
Faye: Ordinary. The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can't leave alone.
Jet: I see.
Faye: Like an angel from the underworld. Or a devil from Paradise.
--------------------------------------------
1 Karma Chameleon point

Grey Fox

#331
February 20, 2013, 07:23:24 AM
I was watching The Walking Dead when Ariel walked into the room.

Everytime I zombie bites it she laughs & yells "dodo" (sleep).

They grow up so fast, already ready to handle a zombie apocalypse.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Ed Anger

#332
March 05, 2013, 08:02:45 AM
I lined up a couple of rows of Peeps on the table and then set the kids loose on them. It was like a pack of zombies tearing into that sweet sweet peep flesh.

I sat there like I was God.

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Barrister

#333
March 15, 2013, 02:36:19 PM
Timmy likes to play 'animals' down in the basement.  What that means is we get down on our hands and knees and make various animal noises (lions roar, elephants trumpet, that kind of thing) plus usually there is some play wrestling going on.

What I find cute about this is once we start playing is instead of calling me daddy, he'll call me "Daddy Lion", or "Daddy Hippo".  As in "come here Daddy Hippo". :D

Last night though was a new twist.  Suddenly there was a lion in the basement, and we had to go hide from it (behind a glass french door :lol:).  Then we would have to go out and find the lion again, then go back and hide behind the french door again.




Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Martinus

#334
March 15, 2013, 02:52:55 PM
Wow, ever heard of a condom?

11B4V

#335
March 15, 2013, 02:54:13 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 02:36:19 PM

Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:


congrats
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

11B4V

#336
March 15, 2013, 02:55:29 PM Last Edit: March 15, 2013, 02:58:20 PM by 11B4V
Quote from: Martinus on March 15, 2013, 02:52:55 PM
Wow, ever heard of a condom?

Ever hear of astroglide.
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

katmai

#337
March 15, 2013, 03:12:57 PM
FFS stop trying to compete with Monkeybutt.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Syt

#338
March 15, 2013, 03:22:00 PM
 :cheers:
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

PRC

#339
March 15, 2013, 03:30:52 PM
Congratulations Beeb!  That's great news!

Grey Fox

#340
March 15, 2013, 03:33:01 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 02:36:19 PM
Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.

:thumbsup:
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

mongers

#341
March 15, 2013, 04:03:18 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 15, 2013, 02:36:19 PM
.....

Oh, and my wife went for an ultrasound earlier this week.  We're expecting another baby in October.   :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

Well how do you do - the last two times required medical assistance, and this one... just happened.

Congratulation. :cheers:



Though I'm slightly concerned that the rich diversity, that is Languish, will in future times be mainly represented by Ed, yours and Grey Fox's multiple progeny.   :P
"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

CountDeMoney

#342
March 15, 2013, 05:25:18 PM
Great.  More Canadians.  That's just swell.

Ed Anger

#343
March 15, 2013, 05:26:23 PM
Quote from: katmai on March 15, 2013, 03:12:57 PM
FFS stop trying to compete with Monkeybutt.

I am the Master. :cool:
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Barrister

#344
March 15, 2013, 05:36:35 PM
Quote from: katmai on March 15, 2013, 03:12:57 PM
FFS stop trying to compete with Monkeybutt.

The missus was joking (I hope it was joking) about maybe it was twins. :o

But thankfully the ultrasound confirmed just one.

And as much as this world could use even more Ukrainians, I'll go get snipped after this one is born.   :ph34r:
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.
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