Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

[CountDeMoney]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/st-louis-mother-urges-toddler-girls-fight-sick-facebook-video-tv-station-alerts-authorities-article-1.1107692

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Gee, I wonder...

No, no I don't.  I already knew.

[Ed Anger]

The 8 year old just started karate a few months ago.  Broke her first board;  had to be 1/16" thick.     So cute.

See, Karate would be bad for my kids. Because I would be encouraging head and nut shots.

KICK 'EM IN THE PLUMS! DADDY LOVES YOU! AIM FOR THE EYES!

[Ed Anger]

Seedy will be happy to know that I got her out of kid jail. I made her apologize to her mother.

NOT TO THAT KID HOWEVER. HA!

[Barrister]

I have no idea where my kid gets some of his ideas or phrases.  I guess from us, but I don't remember using some of the phrases.

One of Timmy's new phrases is to be "nice and cozy".  Which to him means to be covered in a blanket, probably with the edges tucked in under him.

On the weekend he crawls up with me on the big easy chair, and asks to be "nice and cozy", so I happily tuck the blanket in around his legs.  He then goes, "Daddy, water", and points at his sippy cup full of water on the coffee table 5 feet away.

A little irritated I say "No, you go and get it".

Timmy responds in a sad voice "[But] I'm nice and cozy."

[Barrister]

Another "where did he get that from" moment.

Tracy was cleaning the kitchen.  Timmy takes a biscuit cutter, puts it on his head, and says "I'm a princess!".

[Ed Anger]

Another "where did he get that from" moment.

Tracy was cleaning the kitchen.  Timmy takes a biscuit cutter, puts it on his head, and says "I'm a princess!".

[derspiess]

I have no idea where my kid gets some of his ideas or phrases.  I guess from us, but I don't remember using some of the phrases.

That's always a mystery early on.  Seems like they ignore something you tell them 1000 times, but then latch on to something you say once. 

With Tommy in pre-school these days I just blame any bad habits on his classmates.

[Ed Anger]

Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.

[derspiess]

My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.

I bought Tommy some Scooby Doo boxing gloves (hilarious product, btw) and have been giving him some informal lessons on technique.  Wife didn't mind the boxing gloves so much, but she gets pissed when I teach him how to punch correctly

And from the looks of it, I don't believe I'll need to teach Lola anything at all.

[Ed Anger]

Scooby Doo boxing gloves

RAGGY! CUT ME RAGGY!

[Ed Anger]

ENJOY! (read the comments too)

http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2012/09/05/utah-mother-caught-potty-training-daughters-at-restaurant-dining-table/

[Barrister]

Potty training is Not Fun.

We actually have Timmy's potty set up right next to the kitchen table.  So there, America.

[Ed Anger]

gross.

[Barrister]

[ulmont]

Speaking of schools, my wife yesterday asked me about homeschooling. She wanted me to go to this home school bookstore and being a cool cat, I humored her.

I laughed my ass off. Rod and Staff books. HILARIOUS.

I told my wife I'm teaching the kids history. SULLA WAS A ROMAN PATRIOT. But I think the material there turned her off home schooling.

The curriculum from Calvert could be much worse, and in Ohio they even have some sort of online partnership with local schools.
http://www.calvertschool.org/