Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

[dps]

He was probably abandoned as a child and raised by foster parents, so even he doesn't know.

[Ed Anger]

I fell from the stars.

[merithyn]

My oldest is 18 today.  That makes me feel pretty old.

As my ex-mother-in-law told me when I complained about my babies growing up: "Wait until your youngest turns 40. Then you'll know what old feels like."

[merithyn]

The twins ran into the neighborhood kid they just can't stand. They opened the hostilities and Cassandra went berserker on him. 

My wife had to pull her off him and was was doing that authoritarian full name bullshit. CASSANDRA MARIA HAWKINS, YOU ARE IS SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME.

Me? Shit. Eating. Grin.

That was always freaking hard! How do you NOT say, "Good job, kid! Well done!"??? I always wanted to sooo badly, but knew I couldn't. Now, when we tell these stories, I get to say it, but when it happened, I had to hold my tongue.

[Ed Anger]

The twins ran into the neighborhood kid they just can't stand. They opened the hostilities and Cassandra went berserker on him. 

My wife had to pull her off him and was was doing that authoritarian full name bullshit. CASSANDRA MARIA HAWKINS, YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE YOUNG LADY. YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET HOME.

Me? Shit. Eating. Grin.

That was always freaking hard! How do you NOT say, "Good job, kid! Well done!"??? I always wanted to sooo badly, but knew I couldn't. Now, when we tell these stories, I get to say it, but when it happened, I had to hold my tongue.

I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

[Razgovory]

I fell from the stars.

That was the story my mom tried to tell the police.

[Valdemar]

My oldest is a pretty decent fighter, he is reigning regional champ in judo for one.

However, I've over time taught him not to start the fights, only to stop them if he gets into them, and his trainer always told them first run, then fight. He does that, but he never, ever backs down from a challenge, which has landed him in some weird situations with older kids a few winters ago when there was a lot of snow 

The funny thing is KNOWING he could probably beat most kids in his grade and a good deal of those above it seems to make him content, so he never gets into trouble of that kind, not by avoiding, but rather it seems he oozes some kind of confidence that seems to work as a deterrent.

He does come home once in a while though saying "dad, I really wish I could use some judo on this guy, he is really really annoying." "Has he done anything?" "No he is just really really loud and annoyin"

V

[Ed Anger]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/st-louis-mother-urges-toddler-girls-fight-sick-facebook-video-tv-station-alerts-authorities-article-1.1107692

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

[CountDeMoney]

I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

[CountDeMoney]

My sister tells me that my nieces cry during those ASPCA and HSUS commercials about abused animals.  Especially the oldest one.

I almost feel bad about my part in bankrolling them.

Almost.

[Ed Anger]

I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

I've been getting those 'daddy, get me out of this' looks from her. I figure I can get time served by Sunday.

[merithyn]

I was tempted to set the girl aside and tell her good job. But I can't undercut the wife.

Now see, that's just not the angle to play, man.

So she gets a TV ban for a week. Next time she'll wait to be attacked before going Olaf the Childkiller on her archenemy.

Lift it after 3 days, good behavior, dammit.

This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.

[CountDeMoney]

This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.

My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.

[Ed Anger]

This is why you're such a great uncle, but not the best Daddy material. Follow-through, my man. It's all about the follow-through.

My children would be trained appropriately.

If she were my daughter, she'd have crushed the kid's larynx.

SWEEP THE LEG

[CountDeMoney]

The 8 year old just started karate a few months ago.  Broke her first board;  had to be 1/16" thick.     So cute.