Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

[derspiess]

And speaking of store bought bread, Kroger's store brand has to be among the worst. I don't care if it is 99 cents a loaf, it has a chemical smell to it.

Yeah, that's what she gets.  Their wheat bread always looks like it was underbaked.

[Ed Anger]

Hell, most of Kroger's white brands are shit. Literally. Only thing good is their peanut butter with honey. MAKES FOR A FINE PB&J.

[derspiess]

Hell, most of Kroger's white brands are shit. Literally. Only thing good is their peanut butter with honey. MAKES FOR A FINE PB&J.

Their chewy granola bars aren't bad.  Haven't tried their peanut butter w/ honey, though I imagine that's one of those things that is kind of hard to screw up.  I can't think of anything else that is decent. 

At least they did away with that horrible Cost Cutter line of products they had back in the 80s.  IIRC they even had Cost Cutter beer and cigarettes.

[Barrister]

The other day in the bath, I witnessed a retelling of the classic confrontation of brontosaurus versus crab, complete with much splashing, growling, and snapping.  Alas it ended much as you'd expect, by the brontosaurus turning into a rocket ship and blasting off into the sky.



Also...



Like lots of parents, when little Timmy hurts himself we will kiss him where it hurts.  Well yesterday he tells me "my peepee hurts", and then he asks me to kiss his peepee. 

[Grey Fox]

[DGuller]

Like lots of parents, when little Timmy hurts himself we will kiss him where it hurts.  Well yesterday he tells me "my peepee hurts", and then he asks me to kiss his peepee. 

[Barrister]

I couldn't think of a graceful response, so I just said "no".  He cried for a second, but as is the way of two year olds, he went on to play with something else moments after.

[CountDeMoney]

You new Daddies have so much fun in front of you, man.

So my sister shows up at the "first week" PTA meeting last night for the youngest one's class, starting first grade.

My sister is then approached by concerned parents, wanting to know what was wrong with McKinley, as apparently she had gone to the nurse's office on the first day of school, complaining about an earache.  Was checked out, and sent back to class;  now my sister knew this already. 

What she didn't know was that McKinley returned to class and told all her friends that she is going to have to see a doctor for her earache, at which time:
1) her throat will have to be "ripped open with knives",
2) her lungs will have to be "pulled out and emptied", and
3) her heart will have to "be fixed", since "it is sick".

This one's so going to steal a car when she's 14.

[Ed Anger]

 

[sbr]

[Barrister]

Last night little Timmy announced "I'm going to work".  So he found a little plastic box with a handle and placed a bunch of blocks in it.  He then went up to the front door and put on mommy's shoes.  He then said loudly "[my first name] where are my keys?" 

[Grey Fox]

You new Daddies have so much fun in front of you, man.

So my sister shows up at the "first week" PTA meeting last night for the youngest one's class, starting first grade.

My sister is then approached by concerned parents, wanting to know what was wrong with McKinley, as apparently she had gone to the nurse's office on the first day of school, complaining about an earache.  Was checked out, and sent back to class;  now my sister knew this already. 

What she didn't know was that McKinley returned to class and told all her friends that she is going to have to see a doctor for her earache, at which time:
1) her throat will have to be "ripped open with knives",
2) her lungs will have to be "pulled out and emptied", and
3) her heart will have to "be fixed", since "it is sick".

This one's so going to steal a car when she's 14.

Your influence it shows already, eh.

[CountDeMoney]

Last night little Timmy announced "I'm going to work".  So he found a little plastic box with a handle and placed a bunch of blocks in it.  He then went up to the front door and put on mommy's shoes.  He then said loudly "[my first name] where are my keys?" 

Yes, they have the uncanny habit of repeating what they see and hear over and over. 

[derspiess]

Last night little Timmy announced "I'm going to work".  So he found a little plastic box with a handle and placed a bunch of blocks in it.  He then went up to the front door and put on mommy's shoes.  He then said loudly "[my first name] where are my keys?" 

Awesome.  Lola likes to grab anything that remotely looks like a purse and say "bye" near the front door, even though she can't open it.

[Grey Fox]

My Kid has picked up of throwing what lays on the floor in the trash. A great habit when it's actual trash, like her diapers, not has fun when it's mom's keys or her toys.