Razorcrypts--a DF AAR

[sbr]

After Action Report

Razorcrypts
1 Hematite 115

Summary:

We have had our first contact with the enemy in any great numbers.  I have no idea how they found us up here in this Armok-forsaken tundra but I have a feeling the goblins must have followed the Elven Trading Company here, as the enemy appeared just days after the traders.  The elves are either stupid and lazy or traitorous, neither would be a surprise, but both are unforgivable and the pointy-earred bastards will need to be dealt with swiftly and harshly.

The soldiers were strong and brave and followed orders well.  Every dwarf who met the enemy fought well, though some of the methods were a bit unconventional.  We will need to review our training practices and make sure all of the soldiers are equipped properly; there also may be a quartermaster issue, I have heard rumors of soldiers meeting the enemy unarmed.

The last goblin platoon broke and ran as they came into range of the archers, I would have preferred to kill them.

There were no losses of dwarven life, not even any injuries I am aware of, though Martinus is complaining about a dirty goblin hair stuck between his teeth.  Hopefully that can be fixed before it becomes an issue.

Also some of the livestock was butchered by the goblins when they got to the undefended pastures.

Recommendations:

As mentioned above we need a review of our training program.  I find it hard to believe after 3 years we still have dwarves who don't know the purpose of a shield, or that a Macelord can lose his weapon the first time he swings it.  However it was the first real contact and everyone made it home safe.  These issues will need to be sorted out.

The livestock was attacked before it could be defended.  The army will become unruly if they lose access to fresh meat.  I will talk to the boss about moving the pastures to an easier to defend spot.  If that isn't practical they should at least be penned in, also possibly another archer tower nearby, connected through an underground tunnel, obviously.

Awards:

Granite Star-for meeting and killing the enemy:

Martinus Amoslan
Scipio Idenod
Budda "Shieldbrainer" Ruthoshinod
Katmai Cattenadag
Zoupa Uzolmozir

A Unit Citation will be given to The Stirred Knives for driving the last wave of the enemy away.

________________


s Identogum
Militia Commander

[sbr]

What problem are you talking about here? Is it me?

Yep.  You are way too skilled at too many things for a dwarf of your age.  What could cause a dwarf to look considerably younger than they really are?

Also you sparkle a bit in the sun.

[Berkut]

What problem are you talking about here? Is it me?

Yep.  You are way too skilled at too many things for a dwarf of your age.  What could cause a dwarf to look considerably younger than they really are?

Also you sparkle a bit in the sun.

Uhhh. I don't get it - are you being serious, or is that part of the story?

[Habbaku]

He is joking that you are a vampire, specifically one from the Twilight-verse.

[MadImmortalMan]

Okay, so I am trying to make a burrow alarm for the civilians. From what I understand, I need to create the burrow, assign no dwarves to it and then assign the burrow to a military alert instead. So I created a burrow by painting all of the levels of the fort from the one below the barracks all the way down to the crypts. So basically all the underground parts of the fort are in the burrow. Then I made an alert called "alarm" and assigned that burrow to it but no dwarves. So I guess if I hit enter to turn on the alert for the civ, it will make all the non-military dwarves go inside.



Is that right?



Edit: I hope so, because I need to test it RIGHT NOW! 

[MadImmortalMan]

The miners have been digging ever deeper. Exploring the caverns where we get our water but not breaching them fully.







fahdiz takes a newly-built workshop nobody has used yet.



Notice the *CLT*. Yeah, I can't explain that.


13th Galena 115, Late Summer

The human caravan from Dur Pena returns. Some of our eggs are starting to hatch.




15th Galena 115, Late Summer

Rangers report another goblin squad on the road. Sound the Alert! This is the second time a caravan has brought foes.

We've been working on a signal method to warn the dwarves to get inside when under attack. This is our first chance to test it live. We haven't even had a chance to run any drills.


The archers get to the tower, and front door duty falls to The Walled Treasures this time.


The goblins come up the eastern slope near the north edge of the fort before many dwarves could react. They weren't interested in poaching cattle this time I guess. They met the human  caravan just under our walls and the humans wasted no time in engaging, with arrows flying as soon as the first goblin rounded the corner.


I love how we have snow on the ground in late summer up here at Razorcrypts.

The first dwarf on the scene was Peter Wiggin, who charged down the ramps with some of the war dogs in the gatehouse.



Right on his heels is vonMoltke.



Just above in the gatehouse, Neil rallies the war dogs.


vM and PW pummel the poor beast, who simply cannot respond to the onslaught of two highly-trained hammerdwarves and a dozen dogs, plus some human caravan guards as well.



The first falls quickly.



The two dwarves, two caravan guards and the dogs rush toward the rest of the goblin squad coming up the hillside.





The next is surrounded by dogs and has no chance to fight back before the hammers fall.




We like breaking brains in Razorcrypts. Two fall to Peter Wiggin's hammer.




Alarm! Another ambush just arrived near the lower pasture and they are shooting at the livestock!




One of the human spearmen managed to land the killing blow on the first goblin, but Peter smashed the other three while vM and the dogs kept them busy. vonMoltke is promoted to Hammer Lord for his service.





The goblins on the plain are having their fun, however.






Tonitrus decides we need a party while the battle rages.




The next goblin squad finds the drawbridges all down and the gates all open wide. The squad's leader Count de Money stands in the middle of the bridge, blocking the way. He is muttering something about "innocent lambs and alpacas".




We cannot find that goblin's corpse, but his weapons are lying under the bridge where he dropped them.


After witnessing that display, the rest of the goblin squad immediately withdraw as fast as possible to the west. The Walled Treasures get to stand down for a well-earned break.

Maybe we should do some trading with these humans.

[sbr]

What problem are you talking about here? Is it me?

Yep.  You are way too skilled at too many things for a dwarf of your age.  What could cause a dwarf to look considerably younger than they really are?

Also you sparkle a bit in the sun.

Uhhh. I don't get it - are you being serious, or is that part of the story?

I am being 90% serious.  The "sparkle" part was just to make sure you understood what I was implying without having to spell it out.

The game has vampires now and I am pretty sure that is what MIM was getting at with his posts.

[Jaron]

Save the PIGS!!!!!!!!!

[sbr]

The next goblin squad finds the drawbridges all down and the gates all open wide. The squad's leader Count de Money stands in the middle of the bridge, blocking the way. He is muttering something about "innocent lambs and alpacas".




We cannot find that goblin's corpse, but his weapons are lying under the bridge where he dropped them.


After witnessing that display, the rest of the goblin squad immediately withdraw as fast as possible to the west. The Walled Treasures get to stand down for a well-earned break.

  You shall not pass!!

[MadImmortalMan]

This is a yak bone statue of Nish Diamondplains. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. The item is a masterfully designed image of Nish Diamondplains the dwarf and dwarves in yak bone by fahdiz Litastlaltur. The dwarves are refusing Nish Diamondplains. Nish Diamondplains is making a plaintive gesture. The artwork relates to the removal of the dwarf Nish Diamondplains from the position of outpost liason of The Kindled Boats in the early winter of 112.
It is encircled with bands of horse bone, rectangular bauxite cabochons and round claystone cabochons. This item menaces with spikes of mule bone.
On the item is an image of Zefon Diamondcactus the dwarf and Ral Flameguild the Luxurious Wealths the dragon in yak bone. Ral Flameguild the Luxurious Wealths is striking down Zefon Diamondcactus. The artwork relates to the killing of the dwarf Zefon Diamondcactus by the dragon Ral Flameguild the Luxurious Wealths in The Adventurous Horns in 18.

Two different events depicted in fahdiz' artwork here. One is an ancient dragon battling a dwarf a hundred years ago.

The other, however depicts an event that apparently happened in the game world during our residence. That is, the outpost liaison assigned to Razorcrypts was sacked by the leaders of the Mountainhomes. Maybe it was because he couldn't get us to accept their fealty offer, I don't know. It's kind of a dickish thing to do for fahdiz to rub it in for all eternity on a statue though.

[MadImmortalMan]

Vampires in the game show up under false names. They have a history as the world generates, and you can find them by their real name if you know where to look. So, they use an alias. Berkut's last name is really Fikukonul. He arrived at Razorcrypts using the name Vabok Rinallikot. I discovered the discrepancy when I changed his nick to Berkut, but he still kept going around displaying "Vabok". Plus, he's super-charasmatic otherworldly strong, never eats food or drinks booze and has been happily building his castle for eighteen months without eating or drinking anything. Also, his relationships tab has exactly one entry. Onget--the god he worships. No mother, father, kids, friends.

I hope I can give him some epic job to do so he can win glory for his badass immortal self.

[Berkut]

I am not sure if I should be flattered you assigned me to an undead or not...

[MadImmortalMan]

I am not sure if I should be flattered you assigned me to an undead or not...

Heh. I didn't know until it didn't show up properly.


I think vampires are too common. I have had forts of less than 200 dwarves and five or six of them are vampires. That can't be sustainable for long. Plus, they should decide to leave before becoming too entrenched and giving people time to figure them out---you know, move on to the next fort. Not run for office and other high-profile things that would increase the chance of being exposed. The last thing I want is all the dwarves accusing Berkut of murder and CdM hammering him every other week. So I'm keeping him safe and the dwarves safe, and we'll see what happens.

[Tonitrus]

Tonitrus was just setting up the victory party. 

[MadImmortalMan]

Ed has been doing engravings in the dining room. So far, the most often carving subject is the fight between Diamondcactus and the dragon. It must be a big deal in the land of the Kindled Boats.