Musings on friendship

[The Minsky Moment]

  But, I must reiterate that it isn't a homosexual thing. Unfortunately, I don't really have much sexual feeling one way or the other

He once was blind, but still cannot see.

[Razgovory]

I think we can all agree that Lettow is a confused young man.

[Tamas]

I think we can all agree that Lettow is a confused young man.

Quite the unique sight on this forum of confused old people

[Razgovory]

To be fair, he's doing what alot of college kids do.  Experiment.  At least that's what I'm told.  When I was in college I would lock myself in my dorm and not come out for weeks at a time.  I wasn't the experimental type.

[Martinus]

I'm surprised grallon hasn't been splurging all over this thread yet. Unless lettow is already too old for him.

[Lettow77]

 I don't experiment with much of anything. I'm very happy with my environment presently, and put my efforts into maintaining it while trying to prepare the way for a future in the sacred isles.

I am a contented hikikomori outside of class.

[Tamas]

You should stop now, and resume posting once in Japan. It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.

[Barrister]

You should stop now, and resume posting once in Japan. It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.

It'll be like his "Vision Quest" to Utah x100.

[Martim Silva]

Lettow, exactly how old are you?

As a "confused old person" here at Languish, I note that you seem to be both quite afraid of being hurt by the world and in doubt about your own capabilities.

You also seem like the kind of writer that ends up killing himself.

Since I'm not sure of your age, for now I'll just note one thing: people are far easier to deal with if you take a very proactive stance towards them. A strong voice, a confident attitude and solid knowledge, combined with a one-track mind can push just about anyone to see you in a good light.

If shyness is a problem, just put your current "self" in a mental "container", then create an outgoing personality and make "it" take over your body when you deal with other people, while "you" in the "container" watch from behind your eyes.

This allows you to totally dominate others in social/romantical situations.

It will also allow you to see that women are actually people, and won't break if you handle them (though they'll have particular needs, which can be both annoying and flattering at the same time), and that you can actually satisfy most of them sexually without problems.

There is NO need to be afraid of them and to turn your attentions to males just because you find it somehow "easier" to deal with men just because you know how they think.

It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.

I've found out that 'reality' is a strange thing indeed. With the right attitude, knowledge and brains, a lot of things become possible. Even appearently impossible stuff.

[Razgovory]

You should stop now, and resume posting once in Japan. It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.

It'll be like his "Vision Quest" to Utah x100.

It was a good thing we talked him out of the biking thing.  That would have killed him.

[MadImmortalMan]

Not quite sure what to think of Martim's advice right now...

[Lettow77]

Alright! There's a lot here that deserves addressing, and I think your concern is sincere, so I am happy to answer.

Lettow, exactly how old are you?

I am twenty two.

As a "confused old person" here at Languish, I note that you seem to be both quite afraid of being hurt by the world and in doubt about your own capabilities.

You also seem like the kind of writer that ends up killing himself.

These are fair accusations. I think the less that is expected from the world, the less these expectations can be disappointed; rather than foray out into a world of uncertainty, I would sooner adjust my desires to something achievable. It is fair to say I doubt my capabilities, I suppose, but I am confident that I can achieve my present aims.  As for killing myself, it isn't much of a concern. I occupy a unique social position that allows me to kill myself when I take a mind to do so- I have no dependents and there are no expectations that ride upon me. Someone who has a half-dozen hostages to fortune may or may not see the blessing in this, but I certainly am aware of the benefit that springs form having freedom of action. There are things I want to do in life, but no noteworthy goals will be disrupted by a premature demise on my part, and if I no longer wanted to do anything in life, suicide in principle holds no horrors or moral qualms for me.

Since I'm not sure of your age, for now I'll just note one thing: people are far easier to deal with if you take a very proactive stance towards them. A strong voice, a confident attitude and solid knowledge, combined with a one-track mind can push just about anyone to see you in a good light.

If shyness is a problem, just put your current "self" in a mental "container", then create an outgoing personality and make "it" take over your body when you deal with other people, while "you" in the "container" watch from behind your eyes.

This allows you to totally dominate others in social/romantical situations.

There is a lot to say here. I used to be much more confident and strident in tone- I have grown to greatly prefer reserve and a passive tone. That's one thing I find attractive about Japan, after all. I don't mind being the quiet person i've become. My father was a boisterous and vibrant man; I do not think I am a better man for being less so, but nor do I think it makes me any worse. As for the latter part.. I -did- totally dominate a woman in a romantic situation for some five years. I controlled her to an unacceptably high degree; looking at things she wrote, they are essentially in my voice (or what was my voice at the time.) I do not have the energy or inclination to "dominate" anyone anymore. It feels morally reprehensible, not worth the effort which as of late come to seem so taxing, and generally not for me. Dominion is something I generally resent.

It will also allow you to see that women are actually people, and won't break if you handle them (though they'll have particular needs, which can be both annoying and flattering at the same time), and that you can actually satisfy most of them sexually without problems.


There is NO need to be afraid of them and to turn your attentions to males just because you find it somehow "easier" to deal with men just because you know how they think.

Again, I can't seem to disabuse Languish of the notion that I turn my attentions to males. I have always been overly taken with hierarchy and hero worship; a deep affection for another man comes naturally to me. Sexual interest does not, and I have no desire that it did. I tend to view my general sexual disinterest as a blessing, and the extent to which I do desire women as something that should be repressed.

I don't dislike women, however!  It is true I am not crazy about the role they presently occupy in society, their manner of dress, etc etc, but the ideal of maidenly femininity remains pleasing. I have a weakness for long skirts, ribbons, hairbands, lace, and other things of the sort. This interest is abiding both inside and outside of sexual spheres; if anything, I tend to resent my sexual preferences for staining an otherwise wholesome appreciation.

It may be worth noting that of the precious few people I remain in close contact with, two are female. Before I chased the missus away, she was the main person I spoke to. I have never held women to be a frightful mystery that must be avoided; it is true, however, that we generally have little overlap in interests.

Concern about my future is appreciated, but I think it is largely misplaced. I have goals that I believe I can meet, and I look forward to announcing my success to the nay-sayers. We have others on languish who could use the counseling more.

[Razgovory]

I don't experiment with much of anything. I'm very happy with my environment presently, and put my efforts into maintaining it while trying to prepare the way for a future in the sacred isles.

I am a contented hikikomori outside of class.

You have experimented with Japanese culture. Or Japanese pop culture.  Or what ever the hell anime is.  I think there is something wrong with someone who desires to debase themselves before some other people on the other side of the world for no adequate reason.

[katmai]

Why did I make the mistake of opening this thread?

[Lettow77]

 Raz, I have liked Japan for a long time. Anime fans and Japanophiles are different sorts; in fact, the former tends to resent the latter and try to distance themselves. Liking anime is just the most visible part of it; those who looked would note a pronounced buddhist influence on my opinions, a good grasp on Japanese history, an interest in tea & tea ceremony that exceeds my affection even for anime, and of course a dedicated study of the language. I have a broad appreciation for most parts of what Japan does. Gradually and by degrees I have come to hold an increasing amount of their values as my own, and like a good immigrant I seek to eventually achieve totality of assimilation. (I also recognize this is impossible, and that I will always be a foreigner. Any hypothetical children I had would by nature of their halfbreed blood in such a homogenous society also be foreigners. I am at peace with that.) There is no room (or need) for my individual expression.