Musings on friendship

[Lettow77]

 I don't enjoy (or should say, no longer enjoy) disliking people, languish. The primary result of disliking someone is further unhappiness in life, and so when faced with someone I dislike, I try to simply avoid them for the sake of maintaining the serene tranquility I have succeeded in establishing in the crystal fortress.

Difficulty arises, however, when they are an established friend of years with strong ties of memory and past association. It is hard to avoid such people on a permanent basis- is it wrong to do so? To ask them to change to be someone less odious is naturally to ask too much.  As a final consideration, I don't know very many people, and reducing the already thin ties of fraternal affection only increases reliance on those that remain, which brings me to my next point:

What happens when friendship becomes something so much more like love? American society makes little room for the likes of it; two boys who may grow up close together, live in constant proximity, and have the closest bonds of association are naturally expected to part as their spouses and blossoming families succeed their friendships as the most important social link. It pains me to think of the transience that necessarily attends my present happiness, and there is also a certain amount of shame at its inappropriate nature in the first place.

I assume going to Japan will solve both of these problems; Either I will close off from the west entirely, or people formerly resented will be welcomed for the tenuous window back into the world I left behind that they represent, while the scandal of undue affection will mellow with distance.

It seems as if it is too easy for friendship to be an unwelcome albatross around one's neck, or something that has a significance and importance all beyond reason. In either event, I feel like I am in the wrong, rather than the friend in question.

What follows is a tangentially related picture

[jimmy olsen]

You know what they say, "friendship is magic".

[Lettow77]

 Friendship is indeed magic, but the existence of Gilda proves that even in such an idyllic context as Equestria there can be people whose very existence is loathsome and an anathema to friendship and wholesome association.

[Admiral Yi]

Nice crotch shot.

[Phillip V]

Nice old book called 'The Art of Loving': http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Loving

Fromm presents love as a skill that can be taught and developed. He rejects the idea of loving as something magical and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained, and is therefore skeptical about popular ideas such as "falling in love" or being helpless in the face of love. Because modern humans are alienated from each other and from nature, we seek refuge from our aloneness in romantic love and marriage (pp. 79–81). However, Fromm observes that real love "is not a sentiment which can be easily indulged in by anyone." It is only through developing one's total personality to the capacity of loving one's neighbor with "true humility, courage, faith and discipline" that one attains the capacity to experience real love. This should be considered a rare achievement (p. vii).

The Art of Loving argues that the active character of true love involves four basic elements: care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge (p. 24). Each of these is difficult to define and can differ markedly depending on the people involved and their circumstances. Seen in these terms, love is hard work, but it is also the most rewarding kind of work.

One of the book's concepts is self-love. According to Fromm, loving oneself is quite different from arrogance, conceit or egocentrism. Loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses). In order to be able to truly love another person, one needs first to love oneself in this way.

Fromm is skeptical of exclusive love, which he calls égoïsme à deux – a relationship in which each person is entirely focused on the other, to the detriment of other people around them. In a healthy marriage, faithfulness applies to sex, but not to Fromm's concept of love, because love means a generally caring, responsible, respectful and honest attitude toward all other people.

The book includes explorations of the theories of brotherly love, motherly and fatherly love, erotic love, self-love, and the love of God (pp. 7–76), and an examination into love's disintegration in contemporary Western culture (pp. 77–98).

[Grinning_Colossus]

http://www.goofyfootpress.com/ This might also help when you get around to consummating your bronymance.

[Lettow77]

 A couple of social subversive undesirable types, I see.

Well, the matters will resolve themselves. There is no urgency at all; it is a gentle sort of problem.

[CountDeMoney]

[Razgovory]

I think we all saw this coming.

[Tamas]

Just confess your gay obsession to your friend. I am SURE he will understand.

[Barrister]

You know, Lettow being a deeply closeted homosexual would explain more than a few things about him.  Just saying.

[Lettow77]

 He knows exactly how I feel. Why would I keep secrets from my wonderful roommate? It wouldn't be the friendship it is if I didn't. I have never hid anything from him- I refer to him as "the dashing young prince" in his sight. He is a bit embarrassed by this sort of thing, being a proper sort who would never say such things about someone else. He has a laconic nature.

But, I must reiterate that it isn't a homosexual thing. Unfortunately, I don't really have much sexual feeling one way or the other- the seldom times I do, I assure you it is directed toward females.

[CountDeMoney]

I'm sure he'll completely understand how strong your friendship is when you explain to him how the greatest bonds are formed by swallowing each others' cock sauce.  Squee.  Mew.

[Lettow77]

 sexual intercourse is pig disgusting and attendant to the highest feelings of shame and revulsion

This is when it is directed at women, mind you; in the context of male/male I think Mishima found the best recourse

[Eddie Teach]

You know, Lettow being a deeply closeted homosexual would explain more than a few things about him.  Just saying.

It's more like he's standing in the door frame with the door slightly ajar.