Korea- Too boring

[Tonitrus]

I need to find a way to meet some of these 30-something Japanese ladies who want to flee towards adventure in the West.

I'm told that in Canada marriages between Japanese women and Canadian men has the highest divorce rate of any match-up, and I understand the situation is pretty similar in the US.

If true I think it may be down to a mismatch in expectations.

I wouldnt mind living n Japan though. 

I think the point is the Japanese woman who wants to live in the West would....

I figured the point of view Jacob was referring to was likely along the lines of "Japanese woman get its on with Canadian dude, because she doesn't care for Japanese patriarchy, moves to Canada, but along with unexpected personality/cultural differences, gets homesick and wants to return to Japan/family".

[Jacob]

I figured the point of view Jacob was referring to was likely along the lines of "Japanese woman get its on with Canadian dude, because she doesn't care for Japanese patriarchy, moves to Canada, but along with unexpected personality/cultural differences, gets homesick and wants to return to Japan/family".

This is all second hand - I have a few close Japanese women friends who in turn have many Japanese-women-married-locally friends - but my impression is it mostly has to do with very different bases for how a relationship functions, appropriate areas for give and take, what the appropriate levels of hard work for the relationship vs self-indulgence, and all the unspoken assumptions that people bring into a relationship. Those are challenges in all relationships to a degree of course, and are more likely to be pronounced in cross cultural ones; and lack of solid communication exacerbates that.

The pattern - again very anecdotal - seems to be that the Japanese woman will tend to bring a whole bunch of the "these are things I do for you" that are socially expected in Japan to the relationship; it will be less expected by the Western man, which takes some pressure off the woman and is attractive at first, but over time he'll end up taking it for granted to a certain extent. Conversely the guy will not bring many of the things expected of the male partner to the table - initially this is seen by the woman as refreshing and liberating, but as the relationship goes on it ends up seeming pretty uneven for the woman.

Obviously, plenty of couples avoid it because they're good matches personality wise or because they communicate well and so on, but there does seem to be a pattern to the failed relationships that involves unrealistic romantic expectations on both sides exacerbated by a cultural mismatch of expected standards and an inability to communicate effectively.

... I suppose that can be summed up with "I miss home" in a way.

[crazy canuck]

... I suppose that can be summed up with "I miss home" in a way.

The couples I know who had trouble were slightly different.  The women became completely Westernized whereas the men still wanted the wives they had first married.  All couples change over time but these sorts of cultural changes can be more abrupt.  But in the end it as you say, the expectations the women had for what they were getting out of the marriage changed but the men generally didnt.

[Tonitrus]

Well, it doesn't matter too much...I figure I am doomed to CdM-like bachelorhood anyway.   

Without even a cat...

[The Brain]

I would think that many divorces happen fairly soon after they learn a common language.

[Jacob]

Well, it doesn't matter too much...I figure I am doomed to CdM-like bachelorhood anyway.   

Without even a cat...

I'll totally try to hook you up if there's an opportunity.

[jimmy olsen]

One of the best thing about Korea is how you can just show up to the dentist or doctor's office without an appointment and usually get served within 15 minutes.

Went to the dentist today and was getting X-rayed and then sat in the cleaning chair in 5 minutes.

[jimmy olsen]

One of my students asked me to bring her to America in my luggage today! 

[Josquius]

You're a hs teacher in a small town right?
Ran into any students after they graduated (possibilities of nudge, nudge, wink wink)

[jimmy olsen]

You're a hs teacher in a small town right?

40-50,000 people in a metro-area of 2.2 million

[jimmy olsen]

Looks like the little dictator is all grown up! 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/12/03/us-korea-north-jang-idUSBRE9B207Q20131203

North Korean power behind the throne believed dismissed: Seoul lawmaker

SEOUL Tue Dec 3, 2013 3:56am EST
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un (R), walks past his uncle North Korean politician Jang Song-thaek, during a military parade to mark the birth anniversary of the late leader, Kim Jong-il in Pyongyang, in this file photo taken by Kyodo February 16, 2012. MANDATORY CREDIT REUTERS/Kyodo/File

(Reuters) - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's uncle, considered the power behind the throne, is believed to have been dismissed from his posts, a South Korean lawmaker said on Tuesday, suggesting a huge upheaval in one of the world's most secretive states.

Jang Song Thaek was likely sacked as vice chairman of the North's powerful National Defense Commission and as a department head of the ruling Workers' Party, the lawmaker, Jung Cheong-rae, said citing a senior South Korean official with the National Intelligence Service (NIS).

"The briefing by an NIS senior official was that they believe Jang Song Thaek has lost his posts," Jung told a news briefing.

Two close aides to Jang in the Workers' Party had also been executed for corruption, Jung said, also citing the briefing.

"Following that, the NIS said it believes Jang Song Thaek has not been seen and has lost his posts," Jung told the briefing.

There was no immediate mention of Jang's fate on North Korea's KCNA news agency, the primary source of information on the country for outsiders which regularly threatens the democratic South and the United States with destruction.

Jang, who is married to Kim Jong Un's aunt, Kyong Hui, has been the central figure in a coterie of top officials and family members who worked to ensure the young and untested son of Kim Jong Il took over power when his father died in 2011.

Jang, who is widely seen as an advocate of economic reform, was previously purged in a power struggle in 2004 under Kim Jong Il's rule but was reinstated two years later.

Analysts who watch the North's power structure say Jang's removal would not have been possible without leader Kim Jong Un's approval.

Apart from domestic political problems, North Korea is involved in a protracted standoff with the West over its nuclear weapons program.

This year, Kim Jong Un has threatened the United States with nuclear attack, declared a "state of war" with South Korea and announced he was restarting a plutonium reactor at the Soviet-era Yongbyon nuclear plant - all on top of conducting a third nuclear test in February and a long-range rocket test last December.

(Reporting by Ju-min Park, James Pearson and Michelle Kim, writing by Jack Kim; Editing Nick Macfie)

[jimmy olsen]

Woah, didn't expect this. What to make of it... 

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/12/12/kim_jong_un_jang_song_thaek_north_korea_says_it_s_executed_kim_jong_un_s.html

North Korea Says It Has Executed Kim Jong Un's Uncle For Treason

North Korea state media announced Thursday that Kim Jong Un's uncle—a man who was once considered to be the second most powerful official in the Hermit Kingdon—has been executed for attempting to overthrow the government.

The news came as something of a surprise given Jang Song Thaek's previous role within the government, where he was believed to have helped Kim Jong Un consolidate power after the death of his father two years ago. Still, there had been rumblings of palace trouble, with recent reports suggesting that Jang Song Thaek had already been ousted from his position within Kim Jong Un's inner circle.

The official announcement came via the official North Korean English-language news site, KCNA, which—in its typically superlative-heavy and bombastic fashion—branded Jang Song Thaek everything from a "traitor for all ages" to "despicable human scum" to "worse than a dog." Here's a snippet from the KCNA report:

    The accused is a traitor to the nation for all ages who perpetrated anti-party, counter-revolutionary factional acts in a bid to overthrow the leadership of our party and state and the socialist system. ...

    He held higher posts than before and received deeper trust from supreme leader Kim Jong Un, in particular. The political trust and benevolence shown by the peerlessly great men of Mt. Paektu were something he hardly deserved. It is an elementary obligation of a human being to repay trust with sense of obligation and benevolence with loyalty.

    However, despicable human scum Jang, who was worse than a dog, perpetrated thrice-cursed acts of treachery in betrayal of such profound trust and warmest paternal love shown by the party and the leader for him. From long ago, Jang had a dirty political ambition. He dared not raise his head when Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il were alive. But, reading their faces, Jang had an axe to grind and involved himself in double-dealing. He began revealing his true colors, thinking that it was just the time for him to realize his wild ambition in the period of historic turn when the generation of the revolution was replaced.

According to the Associated Press, Jang Song Thaek's ouster and unconfirmed execution has some analysts fearing that the purge could create dangerous instability within Kim Jong Un's already unpredictable government.

[OttoVonBismarck]

Why didn't you expect it? When you run a dictatorship it makes little sense to leave vanquished political opponents with a pulse.

[garbon]

I thought I had read that the uncle had been ostracized on multiple occasions before so it had looked like the recent bit was just another part of that cycle.

[jimmy olsen]

Why didn't you expect it? When you run a dictatorship it makes little sense to leave vanquished political opponents with a pulse.

That statement is far too generalized. Not every dictatorship is a reprise of Stalin's greatest hits, though North Korea is. However, Kim Jong Il sacked Jang Song Thaek several times and he was never executed then.