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How do you know you are drunk?

Started by Siege, May 22, 2011, 11:34:24 PM

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Siege

May 22, 2011, 11:34:24 PM
- When you take a leak but forget to flush
- When you take a leak but forget to wash your hands.
- When you miss a meal and do not make up for it.
- When you start mixing diferent types of drinks.
- When you forget that your car is parked 4 bars away, give or take.
- When you stop playing metal and start playing Miley Cyrus on your audio system.
- When you take a dive on your pool and break your nose.
- When you fuck your wife and doesn't matter how hard you try you can't come.
- When you you drink all the beer and start drinking vodka with diet coke.



"All men are created equal, then some become infantry."

"Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't."

"Laissez faire et laissez passer, le monde va de lui même!"

Zoupa

#1
May 23, 2011, 12:29:45 AM
 :(

I think you need help man.

Barrister

#2
May 23, 2011, 12:44:51 AM
"If you have to ask..."
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

11B4V

#3
May 23, 2011, 02:05:05 AM
When you come home late and the old lady is a sleep. You put cellophane over the toilet bowl and put the seat down. Then forget you did it.
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

11B4V

#4
May 23, 2011, 02:19:53 AM Last Edit: May 23, 2011, 02:45:54 AM by 11B4V
or

You attempt to clean the electric stove by using a large flat head screw driver. You diassemble the knob control plate and start scraping in the control knob area. The screw driver arcs the leads and takes a chunk out of the screw driver. You decide you should turn the power off to the kitchen. When you get back from the breaker box (w/the power off) you begin in ernst. Only to discover you cannot see anything. You attempt to turn the light on that is in the exhaust fan and discover it doesnt work. You walk back to the breaker box to turn on the power so you can see what you're doing. You return to the stove now that you can see and begin cleanining, only to have it arc again and take another chunk out of your screw driver. Now two burners dont work, the oven doesnt come on either, and it's still dirty.
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

11B4V

#5
May 23, 2011, 02:27:27 AM Last Edit: May 23, 2011, 02:42:30 AM by 11B4V
or

You attempt to defrost a smaller upright frig with a large flat head screw driver (it has a couple of chunks missing out of it and has electrical burn marks). You begin chipping away furiously, only to puncture the side of the freezer box and watch all the freon escape. You replace the frig with a bigger standard model. When you bring it in the kitchen you discover it will not fit under the shelves/cupboard like the smaller frig did. So, you fire up your sawsall and cut the lower cupboards off, so the larger frig will fit 
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

11B4V

#6
May 23, 2011, 02:37:54 AM Last Edit: May 23, 2011, 02:42:53 AM by 11B4V
or

You're doing a heads/cam/intake upgrade on your truck. As you are torquing the head bolts, the craftsman 3" extension and 3/4 socket slip off the torque wrench and goes perfectly right down the exhaust pipe. You try for several hours to retrive them, but to no avail. You say, "Fuck it" and finish putting it all back together. Upon first fire-up a large back fire happens that blows soot all over the rear quater panel of your nice '77 Aspen R/T. You discover that the distributor was put in 180 Deg out. You put the distributor in right, and it starts right up for the cam break in. Now you hear an exhaust  leak. You look under the truck to discover that one of the new mufflers blew a seam, possible due to a minor exhaust obstruction.


6 mos later you get around to replacing the busted muffler. The exhaust guy comes out with a sooted craftsman 3" extension and 3/4 socket.
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

11B4V

#7
May 23, 2011, 02:41:37 AM
Adventures in Wild Turkey
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

Tamas

#8
May 23, 2011, 03:29:40 AM
Quote- When you miss a meal and do not make up for it.

that is soooo bad the next morning  :x

Brazen

#9
May 23, 2011, 03:33:06 AM
Quote from: Siege on May 22, 2011, 11:34:24 PM
- When you take a leak in the wardrobe thinking it's the bathroom
This happened to a couple I know  :lol:

Ideologue

#10
May 23, 2011, 05:54:27 AM
I think he meant to title this thread "How do you know when you are a drunk."
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

Richard Hakluyt

#11
May 23, 2011, 06:13:17 AM
You see double.
You see double.

mongers

#12
May 23, 2011, 06:53:38 AM
Quote from: 11B4V on May 23, 2011, 02:19:53 AM
or

You attempt to clean the electric stove by using a large flat head screw driver. You diassemble the knob control plate and start scraping in the control knob area. The screw driver arcs the leads and takes a chunk out of the screw driver. You decide you should turn the power off to the kitchen. When you get back from the breaker box (w/the power off) you begin in ernst. Only to discover you cannot see anything. You attempt to turn the light on that is in the exhaust fan and discover it doesnt work. You walk back to the breaker box to turn on the power so you can see what you're doing. You return to the stove now that you can see and begin cleanining, only to have it arc again and take another chunk out of your screw driver. Now two burners dont work, the oven doesnt come on either, and it's still dirty.

:lol:

classic stuff, B4V.
"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

11B4V

#13
May 23, 2011, 07:05:25 AM
Just scratches the surface to the antics and debauchery. Wilder days to be sure. I dont drink anymore.
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

11B4V

#14
May 23, 2011, 07:21:47 AM Last Edit: May 23, 2011, 07:25:31 AM by 11B4V
or

This one involves my dad and younger brother (who btw is the person in my avatar). They are both yucking it up at the bar one afternoon at the Holiday inn. After multiple bottles of wine they depart and my brother side swipes several cars leaving the parking garage. They make it home. My dad passes out in his room and my brother on his couch. The cops come and arrest my brother later calls my dad from the police station. Dad gets the ass, gets in his car (still drunk) and drives down to the police station. He convinently parks (crashes) his car into a snow bank at the  police station parking lot. A cop, an ADA, and judge (yes an ADA and Judge) assist him from the car and help (arrest) him inside.

My Dad is a professional student and my brother is working his graduate degree in some weird ass mathatics these days. They still drink though. 
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".
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