Nerdiness in your daily life. Are you "out"?

[Malthus]

Well, yeah, but a 39 year old who is single and does nothing but play computer games is likely to rank low in terms of "...social status, marital and family situation, and comparative wealth".

Geeze Malthus, pretty harsh on Seedy.

Hey, he has a fancy car and several hookers moldering in his basement. He's doing okay. 

[Camerus]

I dunno.  The depiction of a socially inept, stereotypical, one-dimensional "nerd" seems a lot less common than it did, say, 20 years ago.

Would a movie like Revenge of the Nerds be made today?  It seems unlikely. 

From anecdotal observations, it seems "nerds" in today's media would more likely be depcited as sympathetic figures, and "cool-in-their-own-way."

The whole notion of "nerd-dom" is mostly a creation of the culture of high-school kids. It has little relevance to the adult world, as adults tend to measure and be measured by social status, marital and family situation, and comparative wealth.

In order to know whether there is such a creature as a "nerd", you'd have to know whether this concept still exists among high-school kids. Which I don't, not knowing any.

Not sure about that.  Certainly the nerd construct has the most potency in high schools.  But I definitely think it exists outside of it as well.  It does diminish over time, but I think people in their twenties are still very much aware of it.  Heck, many people in their 30's wouldn't hesititate to apply the "nerd" label to, say, someone who was 39, single and played video games all day.

And many depictions of "nerds" certainly exist in TV and movies, as well - by no means all of which are consumed solely by high school kids.

Well, yeah, but a 39 year old who is single and does nothing but play computer games is likely to rank low in terms of "...social status, marital and family situation, and comparative wealth".

Certainly, there are plenty of depictions of the nerd stereotype in movies and the like - but then, even people who have been out of high school for years will still have a nostalgic attachment to its tropes. In real life, concern over your interests tends to be muted compared with concern about what you do for a living and whether your spouse is attractive or whether you have kids or not ... the guy who does nothing but live in his mom's basement and play computer games isn't remarkable because of his interests, but because of his low social status - the fact he lacks such things as a job, spouse or family. Same as the guy who does nothing but smoke pot all day (sometimes the same guy, of course).

But then, if the stereotype has little relevance outside high school, why do people well out of high school use the "nerd" label at all?  Why not simply say "failure" or something?  People in this very thread are talking quite readily about it as it applies to themselves and others in daily life.  Nobody would say our hypothetical 39 year old failure had "cooties" (another school age construct that really does have zero relevance in the adult world), but I bet there would be many who would call him a nerd.  It's because the "nerd' construct does in fact continue to have relevance.

Mind you, I don't disagree that the "nerd" label and its associated stereotypes do lose some of that relevance over time.   However, I know from first-hand observation that the peers of a gauche, computer-obsessed guy in his late twenties (even if he has a decent job) wouldn't find it odd or immature to call him "a nerd", "so nerdy", "a bit of a nerd" etc.  And I don't think that's just out of a nostalgic yearning to be back in high school.

Now, I wonder if this is, in fact, something of a nerdy discussion...   

[The Brain]

I paint little military men

The hard part is getting them drunk enough, right? 

Oh they come willingly.

[Malthus]

I dunno.  The depiction of a socially inept, stereotypical, one-dimensional "nerd" seems a lot less common than it did, say, 20 years ago.

Would a movie like Revenge of the Nerds be made today?  It seems unlikely. 

From anecdotal observations, it seems "nerds" in today's media would more likely be depcited as sympathetic figures, and "cool-in-their-own-way."

The whole notion of "nerd-dom" is mostly a creation of the culture of high-school kids. It has little relevance to the adult world, as adults tend to measure and be measured by social status, marital and family situation, and comparative wealth.

In order to know whether there is such a creature as a "nerd", you'd have to know whether this concept still exists among high-school kids. Which I don't, not knowing any.

Not sure about that.  Certainly the nerd construct has the most potency in high schools.  But I definitely think it exists outside of it as well.  It does diminish over time, but I think people in their twenties are still very much aware of it.  Heck, many people in their 30's wouldn't hesititate to apply the "nerd" label to, say, someone who was 39, single and played video games all day.

And many depictions of "nerds" certainly exist in TV and movies, as well - by no means all of which are consumed solely by high school kids.

Well, yeah, but a 39 year old who is single and does nothing but play computer games is likely to rank low in terms of "...social status, marital and family situation, and comparative wealth".

Certainly, there are plenty of depictions of the nerd stereotype in movies and the like - but then, even people who have been out of high school for years will still have a nostalgic attachment to its tropes. In real life, concern over your interests tends to be muted compared with concern about what you do for a living and whether your spouse is attractive or whether you have kids or not ... the guy who does nothing but live in his mom's basement and play computer games isn't remarkable because of his interests, but because of his low social status - the fact he lacks such things as a job, spouse or family. Same as the guy who does nothing but smoke pot all day (sometimes the same guy, of course).

But then, if the stereotype has little relevance outside high school, why do people well out of high school use the "nerd" label at all?  Why not simply say "failure" or something?  People in this very thread are talking quite readily about it as it applies to themselves and others in daily life.  Nobody would say our hypothetical 39 year old failure had "cooties" (another school age construct that really does have zero relevance in the adult world), but I bet there would be many who would call him a nerd.  It's because the "nerd' construct does in fact continue to have relevance.

Mind you, I don't disagree that the "nerd" label and its associated stereotypes do lose some of that relevance over time.   However, I know from first-hand observation that the peers of a gauche, computer-obsessed guy in his late twenties (even if he has a decent job) wouldn't find it odd or immature to call him "a nerd", "so nerdy", "a bit of a nerd" etc.  And I don't think that's just out of a nostalgic yearning to be back in high school.

Now, I wonder if this is, in fact, something of a nerdy discussion...   

I agree - people still discuss the stereotype outside of high school, because it is useful: it describes a whole wide range of interests.

What I'm saying is that the stigma associated with being interested in those interests decreases radically over time - because the actual markers of social status become wholly different. Who cares if you collect minature figurines or whatever as an adult, if you have a good job and an enviable personal life?

That's why you have the strange phenom of people describing themselves as "sorta nerdy" in their interests. It is because it usefully invokes a stereotype everyone is familiar with, but really isn't significantly self-depreciating for people who are not high school kids. Bill Gates is "sorta nerdy". No-one is thinking of dunking his head in a toilet for laffs (well, no-one aside from those who bought the previous version of Windows  )

[Josquius]

I agree with what Malthus says there.
To be a bit of a geek at school is totally social suicide. A bit of geekyness in adult life though is rather chic. If you've a good job any degree of nerdyness can get a pass.

[Camerus]

I dunno.  The depiction of a socially inept, stereotypical, one-dimensional "nerd" seems a lot less common than it did, say, 20 years ago.

Would a movie like Revenge of the Nerds be made today?  It seems unlikely. 

From anecdotal observations, it seems "nerds" in today's media would more likely be depcited as sympathetic figures, and "cool-in-their-own-way."

The whole notion of "nerd-dom" is mostly a creation of the culture of high-school kids. It has little relevance to the adult world, as adults tend to measure and be measured by social status, marital and family situation, and comparative wealth.

In order to know whether there is such a creature as a "nerd", you'd have to know whether this concept still exists among high-school kids. Which I don't, not knowing any.

Not sure about that.  Certainly the nerd construct has the most potency in high schools.  But I definitely think it exists outside of it as well.  It does diminish over time, but I think people in their twenties are still very much aware of it.  Heck, many people in their 30's wouldn't hesititate to apply the "nerd" label to, say, someone who was 39, single and played video games all day.

And many depictions of "nerds" certainly exist in TV and movies, as well - by no means all of which are consumed solely by high school kids.

Well, yeah, but a 39 year old who is single and does nothing but play computer games is likely to rank low in terms of "...social status, marital and family situation, and comparative wealth".

Certainly, there are plenty of depictions of the nerd stereotype in movies and the like - but then, even people who have been out of high school for years will still have a nostalgic attachment to its tropes. In real life, concern over your interests tends to be muted compared with concern about what you do for a living and whether your spouse is attractive or whether you have kids or not ... the guy who does nothing but live in his mom's basement and play computer games isn't remarkable because of his interests, but because of his low social status - the fact he lacks such things as a job, spouse or family. Same as the guy who does nothing but smoke pot all day (sometimes the same guy, of course).

But then, if the stereotype has little relevance outside high school, why do people well out of high school use the "nerd" label at all?  Why not simply say "failure" or something?  People in this very thread are talking quite readily about it as it applies to themselves and others in daily life.  Nobody would say our hypothetical 39 year old failure had "cooties" (another school age construct that really does have zero relevance in the adult world), but I bet there would be many who would call him a nerd.  It's because the "nerd' construct does in fact continue to have relevance.

Mind you, I don't disagree that the "nerd" label and its associated stereotypes do lose some of that relevance over time.   However, I know from first-hand observation that the peers of a gauche, computer-obsessed guy in his late twenties (even if he has a decent job) wouldn't find it odd or immature to call him "a nerd", "so nerdy", "a bit of a nerd" etc.  And I don't think that's just out of a nostalgic yearning to be back in high school.

Now, I wonder if this is, in fact, something of a nerdy discussion...   

I agree - people still discuss the stereotype outside of high school, because it is useful: it describes a whole wide range of interests.

What I'm saying is that the stigma associated with being interested in those interests decreases radically over time - because the actual markers of social status become wholly different. Who cares if you collect minature figurines or whatever as an adult, if you have a good job and an enviable personal life?

That's why you have the strange phenom of people describing themselves as "sorta nerdy" in their interests. It is because it usefully invokes a stereotype everyone is familiar with, but really isn't significantly self-depreciating for people who are not high school kids. Bill Gates is "sorta nerdy". No-one is thinking of dunking his head in a toilet for laffs (well, no-one aside from those who bought the previous version of Windows  )

Isn't that the point of this thread - some people not wanting to admit our most nerdy hobbies and past-times to our friends and colleagues?  I agree that that stigma does decrease as one gets older (however it is still present).  Of course living in a mansion and sleeping with beautiful people will justify almost every ineptitude. 

As per my previous posts, I'd also posit that the stigma of having nerdy hobbies is less than it once was even within the younger generations.

[lustindarkness]

I'm out (nerd/geek/whatever) but not flamboyant about it. BTW, for me a nerd has little to no social skills, a geek does. That's just my take on it.

[grumbler]

In order to know whether there is such a creature as a "nerd", you'd have to know whether this concept still exists among high-school kids. Which I don't, not knowing any.

Yes, but it has become more of a general thing;  music nerds, science nerds, literary nerds, robotics nerds, etc.  It really means someone who is better at social interactions when engaged on the topic of interest than on general topics.

[Malthus]

Isn't that the point of this thread - some people not wanting to admit our most nerdy hobbies and past-times to our friends and colleagues?  I agree that that stigma does decrease as one gets older (however it is still present).  Of course living in a mansion and sleeping with beautiful people will justify almost every ineptitude. 

As per my previous posts, I'd also posit that the stigma of having nerdy hobbies is less than it once was even within the younger generations.

Well, yes, but one would predict that the majority of adults will be "out" about it/don't really care.

A contrasting phenominon is being a "druggie". In high school, that was tres cool. Chicks dug you, if you had good connections; it improved your coolness factor and social status. 

As an adult, it works more the other way - if you do illegal drugs, you keep it to yourself, only mentioning it to like-minded enthusiasts. The stereotype of the adult druggie is not a complementary one. It decreases your status.

[Caliga]

I'm out (nerd/geek/whatever) but not flamboyant about it. BTW, for me a nerd has little to no social skills, a geek does. That's just my take on it.

Yeah, agree.  Also, to me, a geek is usually someone who is smart.  A nerd isn't necessarily smart (unless a nerd is also a geek).  I've known a few dumb nerds, actually.

[Capetan Mihali]

   I've never felt much identification with the nerd concept.  I think people have tended to view me more as a weirdo than a nerd.  I've got the obsessional focus on non-mainstream topics part, and mixed social skills, but none of the classic nerd pastimes/interests (never had any interest in e.g. board games, card games, roleplaying, Star anything, fantasy, sci-fi, or even computer games beyond EUII and SimCity).  But also no mainstream pastimes/interests to compensate (never had any real interest in e.g. playing sports, watching sports, cars, popular TV and movies, popular music, video games, gambling).  Oh except drinking, that's been crucial.

[Camerus]

A contrasting phenominon is being a "druggie". In high school, that was tres cool. Chicks dug you, if you had good connections; it improved your coolness factor and social status. 

As an adult, it works more the other way - if you do illegal drugs, you keep it to yourself, only mentioning it to like-minded enthusiasts. The stereotype of the adult druggie is not a complementary one. It decreases your status.

Yeah, the druggie thing is definitely true.  I've personally always looked down on them as I watched some of my close friends from middle school drop out in HS to smoke pot and subsequently become losers later in life.  They are a somewhat extreme case, but they certainly didn't have any trouble getting laid at the time.  Now as we get close to 30 and the lives of two of them still revolve around pot, they're no longer quite the catch they once were.   

[Ed Anger]

I have noticed my tolerance declining rapidly as I get older.

You're becoming less tolerant? Jesus. when you gonna start sending letter bombs?

Never. 

I just can't stand people that won't grow the hell up.

[Monoriu]

I work in IT support - about the nerdiest group possible in government.  But no, I won't admit my nerdiness.  First, I am one of the very few who is not an IT person.  I'm supposed to be the "normal" guy.  Secondly, my nerd ways are totally different from theirs.  They are into the latest electronics, buying ipad2 before it is officially sold in HK, and above all, English Premiership football.  I am into computer games. 

In school and university, it was very normal for me to openly talk about games, and almost every male I knew would respond somewhat positively.  I made the mistake of assuming the same when I first joined government.  I mentioned it once or twice, and all I got were frowns, silence and disbelief. 

Another thing I have learned is that the world is actually very small, and words travel fast.  Especially my HR.  I've been confronted by them on more than one occasion about my...odd ways.  I don't need to give them more ammunition. 

[Caliga]

In school and university, it was very normal for me to openly talk about games, and almost every male I knew would respond somewhat positively.  I made the mistake of assuming the same when I first joined government.  I mentioned it once or twice, and all I got were frowns, silence and disbelief. 

Hmmmmm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrKeEEBgcxk