Mowers of Lawn: To Me!

[C.C.R.]

I'm sitting here drinking my coffee & contemplating my Honey Do list for my three day weekend, and one of the tasks looming large is mowing both mine & my mother-in-law's lawns.  I just mowed them on Monday so neither one is over the top yet, but part of me wants to mow them today because:

1)  It's not supposed to rain today, whereas tomorrow & Sunday are iffy

2)  Wifey has to work tonight & I'm home with the damned weiner kids, so I have to stay reasonably sober today anyways & can't really do anything tonight

3)  If I get it out of the way today I can focus on "Cleaning The Garage" tomorrow.  My wife & I have a code:
Cleaning The Garage - Means, well, cleaning the garage...
'Cleaning The Garage' (single quotes) - Means I dink & dunk at it for an hour or so then start drinking beer...
"Cleaning The Garage" (double quotes) - Means that the garage is about to be buried in a sea of empty beer cans...

Or something.   Mom-in-law's lawn literally takes me five minutes to mow -- it almost takes me longer to drive over there than it does to cut the grass, then I hang out with her, drink a beer, smoke a couple of smokes & Shoot The Shit for another hour or so before heading home.  My lawn takes about 45 minutes or so to mow.  I get the outside of the fence, the south side of the house then the west side of the back yard before I shut 'er down for my first union-mandated "Beer & Smoke Break" (which is right when I need to refill the gas anyways), then I finish off the rest of the back yard & have my second union-mandated "Beer & Smoke Break."

Mower isn't anything fancy, just a non-SP push mower (22"?  23"?) with a mulching blade so I don't have to worry about bagging -- the cut grass is all chopped up & falls loosely into the yard instead of in clumps.  Or something.  I refuse to bag grass.  My old man was a Lawn Nazi when I was growing up & I refuse to get caught up in that shit.  Yay, Rebellion.  Next thing you know I'll be staying up past midnight...

So, tell me about your lawn mowing exploits.  Your lawns, your mowers, your rituals.  Do you have sheep eating your lawn like The Brain?  Or do you sit in a white linen suit drinking mint juleps & watch brown people mow your lawn like Ed Anger?  Enquiring minds want to know...

[Syt]

What is this "lawn" you're talking about?

[Caliga]

My lawn mowing ritual is: pay a hillbilly to do it and then gnash teeth when he fails to show up on the date promised.

[lustindarkness]

After my last deployment I never stopped paying for someone to keep up my yard. More PS3 gaming family time.

[C.C.R.]

Alright, Sunday looks clear and Wifey has running around to do this morning & tomorrow morning, so Sunday it shall be.  Weiner kid #1 has school today, so I'll be hanging out with the dog & Weiner kid #2 for awhile.  Which is Nice...

[Ed Anger]

Actually, I mow my own lawn. An hour riding around? Fine by me.

[Scipio]

I mow my lawn.  First, I rake up the branches, magnolia pods, and dog shit.  Then, I mow and edge.  All in all, one hour.

[Caliga]

I'll start doing it myself once I clean out the garage enough to fit a ZTR in there.  ZTR mowers = fun.

[Ed Anger]

You gotta have a zero turn radius mower. Using an old fashioned riding lawn mower is just so low class and for the poors.

[C.C.R.]

I'll start doing it myself once I clean out the garage enough to fit a ZTR in there.  ZTR mowers = fun.

Is that
clean out the garage
'clean out the garage'
or
"clean out the garage"

[Caliga]

You gotta have a zero turn radius mower. Using an old fashioned riding lawn mower is just so low class and for the poors.

[Caliga]

Is that
clean out the garage
'clean out the garage'
or
"clean out the garage"

'pay a slackjaw to clean out the garage'

[Ed Anger]

I like riding my mower down the street, just to annoy the neighbors.

[Eddie Teach]

I try to put it off until the grass is 6 inches tall or more.

[C.C.R.]

'pay a slackjaw to clean out the garage'

If I lived closer I'd "clean the garage" for you if you provided the beer...