TV/Movies Megathread

[Ideologue]

 

[Ideologue]

The Thief of Bagdad (1924).  You want to talk production design?  You could write a book on this movie's production design, and I don't doubt that people have.  It's gorgeous from beginning to end, tinted in an array of dreamy pastels, and with sets that either were built or were so convincingly faked that they might a well have been.  The forgotten idol in Kandahar is a standout, but rarely a frame goes by that you can't point to something and say, "Wow, this took a lot of people a lot of effort and it looks great."  The storybook world is so lovingly crafted, with such technically cutting edge expertise, that it is difficult to tell where the true sets end the matte paintings and process shots begin.  And I love Bagdad's hardwood floors!

The tale is that of a Thief (Douglas Fairbanks, who is cut like a man from his future).  The Thief will eventually be doing business under the name Ahmed, although this is likely not the name his mother gave him.  The story unfortunately does not live up to its early promise of being consistently hilarious; the first thirty minutes detail his life as a thief, which involves a great amount of entertaining subterfuge, marvelous slapstick, and brazen assholery.

He becomes so convinced of his skill that he concocts a scheme to rob the treasure of the Caliph, and he would have too, if he had not in the midst of his burglary found something he wanted more--the Caliph's very daughter, the Princess of Bagdad (Julanne Johnson).  He schemes anew to steal this even greater treasure, his desires surprisingly uncomplicated by the fact that every one of the princess' slaves are hotter than she is, particularly Anna May Wong, who is thinner, has a better haircut, and is more Asian.

To that end he steals the raiments of royalty and enters the Caliph's palace the next day in the guise of the Prince of the Isles, the Seas, and the Seven Palaces.  He is but one of four royal suitors, and the rest of them are real; it takes one of his competitors, the Khan of the Mongols at Ho Sho--who has designs upon Bagdad--to ferret out the deception (I feel as if the makers of Thief of Bagdad were not highly concerned with historical, geographic or cultural accuracy in their film, but it's just an impression).  In the meantime, the Thief thinks better of kidnapping and raping the Princess, and after a brief courtship (five minutes) realizes not only that he loves her, but that consensual sex would be all the sweeter.  However, he also feels guilty for his deception, and fesses up--but she still cares for him.  To both their regrets, the Caliph is apprised of the Thief's ruse, and has him flogged half to death, but the Princess bribes the guards to just toss him out on the street like garbage.

The Thief goes to the mosque, previously a subject of his mockery, and asks the imam for guidance.  The imam cuts the Gordian knot and says, "Then become a prince!"  For the other suitors' parts, they too must seek out the rarest of all treasures, and it's surprising that they manage since the Princess and Caliph misuse the adjective approximately fifty times later on.  Anyway, so the quest begins.

The subsequent hour details the Thief's adventures as he faces no significant obstacles, fights no human enemies, and, thanks to a rather summary telling, he does not even seem to be particularly inconvenienced by the six month trek through the caverns of fire, the midnight sea, the moon, and so forth, which are extremely pretty but are a little inert.  Concurrently, the suitors are getting a magic carpet, a magic crystal, and a magic apple from, presumably, the Tree of Life.  The Thief, however, gets a magic box that makes anything he damned well wants.

Finally, in the last twenty minutes, the Khan's strategy comes to fruition, and the troops he has infiltrated into Bagdad as porters bearing gifts rise up in arms, and take the city, while the Khan prepares to take the Princess.  Luckily for everybody, the Thief can summon armies from his box, and does so, and the Khan is defeated.  And the Thief steals the magic carpet and the magic crystal, even though as far as I can tell the other two suitors arrived upon them fair and square.

The film ends as it began, with the message writ in the stars, "Happiness must be earned."  I'm sure this was just as true in the 1920s as it is today!

Beautiful and at least half an hour too long, it's a triumph of style.  Dynamite opening aside, it's hypnotic and easygoing entertainment, and I'll cop to it: I took a nap in the middle.

B

[mongers]

'Point Blank' - 1967 - Why have I only just gotten around to seeing this brilliant film.

[Ideologue]

I dunno, I've never seen it.  But I've seen Point Break.

***

Safety Last! (1923).  A zany comedy about a young man trying to make his way and earn the respect of the woman he loves amidst the harsh conditions of late-stage capitalism takes a dark turn when Harold Lloyd attempts, as part of a publicity stunt to increase his character's department store's business, to climb a fifteen story building.  They dealt with tragedy differently in those days.  Needless to say, this was his last film.

B+

[Eddie Teach]

I've seen Grosse Pointe Blank.

[Sheilbh]

I dunno, I've never seen it.  But I've seen Point Break.

Now that's a film.

[CountDeMoney]

I've seen Grosse Pointe Blank.

Definitely a "Date Films Every Guy Must Have In His Collection" nominee.

[katmai]

I dunno, I've never seen it.  But I've seen Point Break.

FFS

[Eddie Teach]

I dunno, I've never seen it.  But I've seen Point Break.

FFS

So you make time to see that but not Breaking Bad...

[katmai]

I dunno, I've never seen it.  But I've seen Point Break.

FFS

So you make time to see that but not Breaking Bad...

I saw it waaay before Breaking Bad ever came out you goofy dumbass.

[Josquius]

I'm currently watching Star Trek:TNG as there are many early series episodes I have not seen.
Wow. Riker certainly is a horny dog isn't he/

[mongers]

I dunno, I've never seen it.  But I've seen Point Break.

FFS

Yeah, sometime he fails so badly, doesn't he.



Pity as his style of review might suit the film. 

[Josquius]

also　Ｉ'ｖｅ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｗａｔｃｈｉｎｇ　Ｃｏｍｍｕｎｉｔｙ　ｌａｔｅｌｙ．Its pretty great, the best American comedy in recent　years perhaps (not that there is too much competition....from the UK too).
Though the episode I just watched....the dene says his real name a lot. It is wrong. It makes me cringe.

[CountDeMoney]

Just because.

[garbon]

Yesterday I watched:

Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Terminator Salvation
Prometheus
Valley of the Dolls

This cold is the worst.